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• Bio •
Josh-FAQ

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Q: What did you do after the Spurs won their third title?
A: I ran outside jumped over the railing on my front porch, ran down to my dog Joker (who happens to be a huge Spurs fan) gave him a huge, celebrated with him a bit, then ran back inside to watch the trophy presentation.

Q: Why do you like Wild Boyz better than Viva La Bam?
A: Viva La Bam is way too scripted. Its more of a sitcom than anything else. Bam's a poser and his mom can't act worth a shit. Bam just wants everyone to think he's such a bad ass. And he'll do what he wants unless MTV tells him otherwise. Don't believe me? watch the top ten Bam slams special on MTV. Plus Wild Boyz is way funnier that VLB. Pontius and Steve-O are the only ex-jackasses that should have their own show.

Q: How can you be so God damn sure that there is no damn God?
A: Its just a simple series of questions. First, what created the computer you're using right now? Probably made in some factory in japan right? How was that factory made? Probably by a bunch of construction machines. And those construction machines were made by people. And who made people? The bible says the Almighty God, even almighty is a terrible way to describe God, created people. Ok, but, who created God? Can't answer that can you? There needs to be humans to make machines, there needs to be God to make humans, so, how was god created. A lot of people get stuck on that question and a stuttering 'Well, he's just, ya know, there' is their answer right before running away. But if thats the case, if something so complex and powerful as God was just 'there' couldn't that mean that people, who are much simpler and weaker, were just 'there' with out a God?

Q: Yea, but... He's Almighty
A: He's not almighty at all. Almighty, like the tagline they give God in the bible, means all powerful, that he can do everything humans can do, all they can't do, and all they could only wish to do. But, cliche as it is now, can god make an object so heavy that he can't lift it? Can he build a wall he can't tear down? He can't. But can a person make something heavier than they can lift? Yep. Who ever built this house I'm in right now can't lift it. I mean I'm sure he's a rough and tough fellow, but c'mon, its a house. Can someone build a wall they can't tear down with the same tools they built it with? Yep. So if a human can do it, why can't God? Almighty means top of the ladder, nothing is more mighty or even equal to almighty. So how can something Almighty make something that can do things the Almighty one cannot?

Q: I'm almost afraid to ask, what about Fate?
A: I don't believe in it. Because fate is the biggest reason not to believe in yourself. If you think everything is all planned out in your life, you're not gonna go out of your way just to get what you want because you think 'Hey, its fate, no matter what I do, if i was meant to be a millionaire, I'll be one sooner or later.

Q: Whats with those haggard ass jeans you always wear?
A: I know, they're as haggard as all hell. I can't get rid of them though. I look too good in them.

Q: How do you kiss loverboy?
A: I tend to keep my eyes slightly open when I kiss. An ex used to do that, it would freak me out but its something I've adopted and adapted. Other than that I tend to go for a series of long passionate kisses and aim for her top lip.

Q: Whats with all the writing you do?
A: Its a way to vent all my emotions that I'm too frightened to talk with a friend about. Or that I think none of my friends would care about and think its just whining.

Q: Boo Hoo! Cry me a river... No I'm interested, really. Go on.
A: And its a way to live out love fantasies which at times I don't think I'll ever be in. And to tell a story as well. Plus my 300+ songs will help me out when I'm a frickin rock star.

Q: What impressions can you do?
A: I do a pretty good Milton from office space. Craig from Reno 911 is one of my better ones. I can ape Mitch Hedberg pretty good too. But most of my impressions are voices and charactors I thought of myself. Oh, and Lemmy from Motorhead. Driiiii da dri eeeh.