YOU KNOW YOU'RE PHILLY IRISH WHEN:

* your dad let you taste your first beer at age4

* you own a piece of Guinness clothing or paraphaneila, but you can't
actually get beyond drinking a few sips of one, and have to go right
back to the Miller Lites or Buds

* at least 2 people in your immediate family have drinking problems

* you consider yourself "Irish-Proud" if you own a Notre Dame hat or sweatshirt

* your dream in life is to own a corner bar with a few of your buddies, with kelly green and neon beer signs as far as the eye can see, full of underage girls sucking down skunked CoorsLight drafts and Kamikaze shots like water

* you've dated a girl named Erin, Colleen, Megan, Bridget, or Kaitlin, and she's so tough she could probably kick your ass

* you have at least 1 scar on your body from a drinking-related incident

* you think corned beef and cabbage is gourmet cuisine

* you consider Downey's, Irish Pub, and Finnegan's wake fine dining

* the last time you ate a vegetable other than potatoes, you threw up

* you're mother, grandmother, or sister is somehow named after the Virgin Mary

* at one point in your life during a drunken stupor, you considered getting a tattoo of a shamrock, or the Notre Dame Fighting Irish mascot (the real geniuses actually went through with it)

* Notre Dame is your favorite college, even though you were 700 points shy on the SAT of being accepted

* You have a picture or shrine of one (or more)of the following people somewhere in your house:
St. Patrick
Knute Rockne
Lou Holtz
John F. Kennedy
Cardinal O'Connor

* you and your family consider a rental in beautiful North Wildwood the equivalent of a stay at the Kennedy Compound in Cape Cod

* you have been tossed out of one of the following bars in the past 5 years:
Finnegan's Wake
Moore's Inlet
Irish Pub
Chickie and Pete's
Brownies
Jimmy's

* one or all of the bars listed above have gotten at least $1000 of your money in the past year.

* you always identify yourself as "Irish" to everyone you meet, but you can't name more than 4 counties in Ireland, and you still think the British control the entire country.

* you thought "Far and Away" was actually a good movie, and Brad Pitt's phony Belfast brogue in "The Devil's Own" was actually authentic

* you think "Angela's Ashes" was a better book than "Hamlet", even though you probably never finished reading either

* you think "RiverDance" is a work of fine art

* your mother or sister own a least 3 pieces of claddagh jewelry or clothing

* he only rap CD you own is House of Pain's "Fine Malt Lyrics"

* Irish Weekend in North Wildwood is a cultural experience for you