Who is Anna Belle Jenkins?

If there was ever a tale of epic proportions, it would be this one-

This story may seem long, and quite frankly a lie. Let me assure you that everything in here was told to me by this ‘person’ I met on Facebook. This is easily the most insane thing to ever happen to me in my semi-boring life.

So now… I present… my encounter with Anna Belle Jenkins.

Back in early November, this random girl named Anna Belle Jenkins Facebook friends me. I immediately deny it because I did not know her, and because her profile picture was that of a girl who would never talk to me (more on that later). A day or so later, she messages me wondering why I didn’t accept the request. I told her it was because I didn’t know her, but felt somewhat bad and was bored… so I started talking to her.

It was election night. Baraka (MKII) Obama was being elected, and here I was talking to this chick on AIM. Oddly enough, we had a really good initial conversation that lasted for a few hours. I was really confused at this point because I don’t have good conversations with my friends, let alone random people from Facebook. That first conversation was the beginning of the insanity. Within the first conversation she told me that she is a Victoria’s Secret model who was living in Florida, but now resides in Cranberry with her little brother. She moved up here to take care of him because her mom died in a car accident in late ’07. Anna Belle was also in the car accident and hurt her knee so badly that she couldn’t live out her dream of being a professional basketball player. So, she is taking care of her 12 year old autistic brother because her estranged step-dad lives in California. (It’s going to get A LOT crazier… so keep reading.)

We talked a bit more online until a few days later she asked if she could call me. I despise talking on the phone, but really had nothing to lose, so I said, “yes”. Again, oddly enough we had a really good long conversation on the phone about normal things people in their early 20’s would talk about… like which Becky was the best on Roseanne (clearly the old Becky). My head was obviously abuzz because I just had this great talk with a super hot chick and just couldn’t believe any of it to be true. After talking to my brother and Caleb, it seemed that there was a possibility this could be real. The general thought was that from her modeling career, she meets tons of douchebags and was happy to talk to someone normal… or at least that’s the story we were going with the justify this soon-to-be retardation. After talking with her on Facebook/AIM/phone for a week, we decided to finally meet up.

Now the tale really begins.

She said she living in a community called Madison Heights, which is right in Cranberry. I looked the place up, and it does exist. It’s a super wealthy plan, which coincides with what she told me about her life. She makes a lot of money through modeling and her family had tremendous money because her dad was an inventor. What did he invent you might ask? Ya know those toilet paper holders that aren’t perfectly round, but sorta oval shaped? That’s what she told me her dad invented.

Oh, by the way. This step-dad of hers in Cali… she was quite open about telling me that she was a virgin, except for being raped by this step-dad named Jim when she was 16. Fun.

So, back to us meeting up. Another odd thing to this was that she would only call me from a private number. She said she lost her phone in the toilet when she was helping her younger brother and is now using a different brother’s phone and thought it would be rude to give out his number until she gets a new phone. My stupid self thought this sounded reasonable and went with it. Friday night rolls around and she agrees to meet up. She had to go to a PTA meeting for her little brother at this special school in downtown Pittsburgh, so we would have to meet up later. I drove out to Cranberry and just hung around waiting for her to call. She never did. I got home and at about 11pm, she called me apologizing. She said she got in a bad car accident down on the North Shore and her little brother was in the hospital. She was going back down there and would call me later. Around 2:30am the phone rings. It’s her.

Her younger brother is dead.

She said a semi-truck hit his side of the car (a Benz btw). She broke her ankle and he was in ICU where he later died of “diabetic shock”. I guess I forgot to mention the part where the brother is also a diabetic, something she didn’t tell me for quite a while, which is odd because that’s basically my whole life. She also said he takes a type of insulin that doesn’t really exist. So, I obviously felt bad for her because it was such an insane thing to happen, only a year after her mom died. If you can’t tell by now, I’m a moron.

She said she would be flying down to Florida to bury him because that is where they are originally from. I was very interested in the accident, so over the next few days I checked every Pittsburgh newspaper and website for info on the crash. Nothing. Not a hint of any accident on the North Shore, let alone one with a child dying. I still gave her the benefit of the doubt, but my mom didn’t. She called the city police and they had no record of a death that night. At this point, I just wanted to see where her story would go. She said she was flying down to Florida on a Tuesday morning at 9am through Delta. I checked online, there were no flights to anywhere in Florida through Delta at that time. I called her on this and she said the flight got delayed and they were going to Atlanta and then driving to Florida. It would take at least 8 more hours to drive to Florida, so I didn’t get why she wouldn’t just fly there. At this point, five days have passed and there is still zero mention of her brother’s death ANYWHERE. A few days rolled by and she called me early before class and said, “Surprise! I came home early, isn’t that great?!” I was very confused and asked why she wasn’t burying her brother in Florida. She said the family didn’t want to spend the money, so they were just going to cremate him here. Meanwhile, she already spent the money to fly down there and I assume fly the body down. Also, she had told me she spent $3,000 in Grove City one day on a whim. Didn’t want to spend the money? Bullcorn.

Quick side note- she told me once that she was at a hockey game and Sidney Crosby spotted her in the crowd, told someone to go give her his number and she went out with him a few times. She even got Chlamydia from giving him oral sex.

Back to the story. At this point I was getting really frustrated and even though I had given her the benefit of the doubt, I was just getting annoyed. We decided to meet up one more time on a Saturday night. Same deal. I went out to Cranberry and waited for her to call. She never did. Who I did get a call from was Christine from SRU and she invited me up to hang out, so I did that instead and had fun instead of wondering where my ghost of a Facebook friend was. Anna Belle called me like six times late that night. I never picked up. She said she got in a minor fender-bender off the Wexford exit because the roads were bad. The roads weren’t bad.

That was that. I decided to call her on everything. When it came to the brother situation, she said she had lied. The brother ACTUALLY died in Florida. She had been there the whole time and didn’t want to freak me out and have me stop talking to her because she wasn’t living in Pittsburgh. BUT SHE’S HERE NOW SO IT’S ALL OK LULZ! Whatever. I was a schmuck. I actually thought a really attractive girl would be down to Earth and randomly talk to me on Facebook.

I stopped talking to her for about a week or two. She randomly Facebook IM’d me one day just to say “hi”. I really didn’t want to get back into this garbage, but I said hello back and asked how she was doing. “Not well”, she said. I too was not feeling well, but asked what had been wrong with her.

Ovarian cancer.

I honestly didn’t think she could get much more outlandish, but there it was. It’s OK, though, because she already started chemotherapy. Yuuuuuuup.

So, here we are almost a month later and I hadn’t heard from her… until she Facebook IM’d me with one simple line- “Still cute?”

I didn’t respond back. Two days later (yesterday), her profile was removed from Facebook, never to be seen again.

Basically, everyone I’ve told this story to has told me to either go with it and see what happens because it could be the greatest thing ever (I’m looking at you Bautti), or people just laughed their butts off at it (Michael, Emily, Kristen, Kelly, Lauren, Andrea…. Everyone). I was obviously totally played in this whole situation, but I don’t really care. It is insanely funny to think about and talk about. I know this has been a long story, but hopefully it’s been enjoyable.

Either that or you just wasted five minutes of your life. So, sucks to be you.

Me? Well, all I wanna know is-

Who is Anna Bell Jenkins?

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