Date: April 28, 2002
Please come again !!!

Sexual feelings can be incredibly confusing in any instance, but often they're more so if they seem to be directed toward members of your own gender. The main thing to do is relax, and remember that you don't have to rush and "decide" what you are or what to call yourself. Sexual identities can develop and change over time. If you relax and pay attention to your desires, you will be able to figure out what turns you on and what you're attracted to -- without worrying about what to call it.

Most people do define themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or straight; but ultimately people are more complicated and interesting than these categories. It's up to you to figure out how you want to identify yourself (as bisexual, lesbian, gay, straight, or whatever). Keep in mind that there are as many sexualities as people out there, and there's one that is uniquely yours. Enjoy it!

Finding and developing a ‘special’ friendship with a member of your own sex is often a rewarding experience for both of you. A frequent benefit, especially for a female is the FACT that such a relationship when openly acknowledged and supported by your marriage partner, is equally rewarding for him. He often finds, sometimes through observing his wife (you honey) making love to your friend, that there are places on your body that are stimulating … that he’s been as yet unaware of. Fancy that. Fancy how that may just improve things between you and your husband. Consider the relationship, even if your husband never lays a hand on your friend … the quality of friendship that could and often does form between your husband and your friend.

There are many expressions of love for your 'special' friend, and giving into the sexual aspects can be a wonderful addition. We call them 'special' because they are. It is the best of both worlds for everyone concerned and involved. For you, you have your husband, and your friend. For your husband, he has you and a good friend and often a counsel for what pleases you. Either by observation or simple conversation. For your friend, she has you and the added bonus of knowing there may just be a caring man ... not after her but willing to learn and teach you as well.

Keep yourself open, either on the 'special' friend side of three people, or the one who has the husband. The husband as well, for the added depth that WILL occur if he allows himself to look past jealousy.

Let's talk a moment about that 'green-eyed monster' called jealousy. Valuing your relationship either from the bi prospect or the husband, there are times when it will want badly to rear its ugly head. Below there will be a link soon, that will discuss this potential problem and offer solutions if you find yourself facing it.