Date: April 28, 2002
Please come again !!!
A: Yes. Bisexuals are as capable as anyone of making long-term relationship commitments. Many bisexuals are living in committed life partnerships and marriages. Bisexuals live a variety of lifestyles, and most will tell you that their attraction to the same sex adds a depth to their marriage.
Q: So what exactly is a Bisexual?
A: A Bisexual is someone who is sexually and emotionally attracted to people of both genders.
Q: So they're equally interested in men and women?
A: Not necessarily. Some are, some aren't. Some say they're attracted to men and women in different ways, others say gender just isn't relevant to who they're interested in.
Q: Doesn't being interested in both genders mean they're only half as interested in either?
A: No. Most Bisexuals will say emphatically that when they're interested in someone, they're interested in them 100%. Just like any couple. Those same have very happy and in most cases more satisfying relationships (ie: a marriage) to a person of the opposite gender. There has been evidence that the attraction to the same gender person adds depth to the existing marital relationship. Often showing say – the wife’s husband, HOW to touch her. Something only another woman would really know.
Q: Do bisexuals have to have partners of both genders to be satisfied?
A: Bisexuality is the potential, not the requirement, for involvement with more than one gender. Whether or not someone chooses to act monogamously is separate from whether or not they are bisexual, heterosexual or gay. There are monogamous bisexuals, just as there are monogamous heterosexuals.
Q: Aren't people really either heterosexual or homosexual?
A: No. It's well recognized in medical and psychological circles that bisexuality is a very real and genuine sexuality. But anyway, there are plenty of Bisexuals around who can tell you that.
Q: Do people choose to be bisexual?
A: For bisexuals the choice is to live openly and honestly or to be silenced by the invisibility of the closet. No one really knows the origins of sexual orientation, including bisexuality. However, whether it is biologically determined or not, sexual orientation should not determine one's access to full participation in society.
Q: Isn't it just a phase?
A: No more than being heterosexual or homosexual is.
Q: But isn't it a transition to being lesbian or gay?
A: Maybe for some people. Some lesbians or gay men "come out" as Bisexual first, but most Bisexuals remain bisexual for the rest of their lives.
Q: But surely they're just confused, they haven't made up their minds yet?
A: Don't make the mistake of assuming there are only 2 options to choose from. Bisexuality is an option in it's own right. A lack of information about Bisexuality is probably the cause of most confusion a bisexual might feel.
Q: Didn't Freud think we're all Bisexual?
A: Not quite - Freud thought we were all born Bisexual, and may develop a preference later in life. No one is really quite sure about this, but most people have had at least some feeling for both genders at some stage in their lives.
Q: Suppose I have - does that mean I'm bisexual too?
A: Strictly speaking, maybe. But what you call yourself is up to you. Some may feel the attraction they feel for one gender isn't enough to call themselves Bisexual. Some people have other reasons for not identifying as Bisexual, as well.
Q: Like what?
A: Some people may want to feel "normal" and think of themselves as heterosexual. Others for political or social reasons may wish to identify with the Lesbian & Gay communities.
Q: Doesn't the term "Lesbian & Gay" include "Bisexual" as well?
A: That's a hot issue for some people. Some people think so, but there are plenty (bisexual and otherwise) who disagree. Lesbians fought for the right to be explicitly named, because they felt invisible. That battle is still going on for Bisexuals.
Q: So why aren't the Bisexuals more visible?
A: Well, no-one walks around with "Bisexual" stamped on their foreheads. It's very easy to miss them. If you see 2 people of the same gender kissing, you don't think to ask if they might be bisexual. And they might be.
Similarly, if you see a man and a woman kissing, either of them might be bisexual, too. Also, there's a real lack of information about bisexuality in our libraries and the media. And there are very few organizations that specifically address Bisexual issues. Some bisexual people have felt as if no-one knows they even exist.
Q: Haven't they received a lot of publicity for spreading AIDS?
A: Bisexuals have been targeted as scapegoats by people who think of AIDS as being a "Gay disease". Bisexuals are thought to be a "bridge" group between the heterosexual and homosexual communities.
Let's get things straight (forgive the pun). One thing spreads AIDS: taking someone else's bodily fluids (like blood or semen) into your body. The AIDS virus neither knows nor cares what your sexuality is. Safe sex will go a long way towards helping stop the spread of AIDS, and everyone - bisexual, straight, or whatever - needs to pay attention to that.
Q: OK, I've heard what you've said so far. Where's the Bisexual Movement?
A: You're viewing part of it now. Historically speaking, Bisexuals have been part of the Lesbian & Gay Movement right from the beginning. And they're still there now, too. They're fighting the same sorts of issues: discrimination based on who they love.
