War
Against Iraq: AWBL Players Speak Out
By Homer Simpson
AWBL Analyst
Could the AWBL season be postponed because of the war against Iraq? Chances are very, very unlikely. But Being a worker at the nuclear power plant, and this being a war that may involve nuclear and chemical
weapons, I felt it was my duty to find the consensus among AWBL players when it came to the war with Iraq.
I asked the players how the felt about this war with Mr. Hussein, and wondered if it would hinder their game whatsoever.
“Well the only correlation that I can make between AWBL and the war in Iraq, is that my home runs might travel so far over the Troupe house's roof that the Iraqi's will run for cover, fearing it is a nuclear bomb.”
- 2001 Co-MVP Ronnie Walker
“Iraq will probably kick our ass cause all we do is bomb fields with no one in them and waste money, meanwhile Iraq's troops are eating ham sandwiches and killing American troops. This will not hinder my game cause I don't pay attention to the war.”
- 7th overall pick Stu White
“What war?”
- 140 pound Rookie Michael Pride
“Mad props to the military in Iraq.. no props to the war. Nothing is going to hinder my game this season.”
- 2001 Cy Young Winner, 5th overall pick Adam Miloser
“Well, It's definitely going to have my mind moving in a direction other than the AWBL, but I'm sure the boys at the front line will understand if I don't dedicate every waking moment to them.”
- 2-year Captain Kyle “The Smacker” Means
“The only thing that hinders my game is.. wait a second nothing because my game has no flaws and the war has no bearing on that.”
- 2002 Most Improved Player Candidate David Zimmerman
Homer Simpson is a part-time contributor the AWBL2K3 site and part-time employee at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. "Kids you tried your best and failed
miserably. The lesson is, never try."
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