Happy
Thanksgiving
Ask Ms. Kitty
11/04
Dear
Ms.Kitty:
What
do I do? I am engaged to a wonderful man. He's nice, funny, and makes a
good living but he drinks way too much. I can't marry him, while he
drinks like this and I told him this and he refuses to get help.
I
don't want to call off the wedding but what else can I do?
Engaged
and enraged in Chicago
Dear
Engaged:
Honey, run don't walk away. Ask yourself this question do you want this man to be the father of your children? Do you want your Visa bill money going to a bottle of rum? This may seem extreme at this point in the game, but if you think he has a drinking problem, there are at least three sure-fire ways you can tell:
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Does his mood change if he hasn't had a drink? (Moody, sad, depressed) |
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Does he have to have a drink every day? |
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What does your gut say? |
If
you answered yes to any of those questions, follow your gut. He may not
have a problem, but honey, you have to remember, he is not in this relationship
alone. If it bothers you and he's not willing to discuss it, run. We
aren't talking about some socks on the floor, we are talking about the man you
plan on spending the rest of your life with and maybe having children with, you
nor your future offspring deserve to be miserable or deserve to support a habit
that is detrimental to your relationship.
Good
Luck!
Dear
Ms. Kitty:
My
girlfriend and I live together. She has three kids. I love her kids like
they’re my own, but here it is, her 7-year-old son is very affectionate.
When I come home from work, he runs over and kisses me on the lips. He
hugs me all the time and sits on my lap whenever I sit down.
My
problem is it makes me uncomfortable big time. I want to say something to
his mom but I don'twant her to think I don't like him, because I love him like
he's my own son. Maybe I feel like this because my dad didn't kiss us like that or
because even though he's just a little boy he's still a guy to me, you know. I
don't want to feel like a jerk, and I don't want to lose my new found family
either.
HELP!
Name
and State Withheld
My
poor Dear
In
today’s world, there are all types of family and because every family is
unique, you will need a time for adjustment. You didn't say how long you
had all been living under the same roof. No matter how silly your
girlfriend might think this is; make sure you tell her what you told me... that
it makes you uncomfortable.
I
do think this should be handled delicately, because of the child's age and as
you said you don't want to hurt his feels. Try to have a conversation with her
about how you’re feeling. If you can't come to some kind of agreement,
then seek counseling.
Keep
me posted.
Dear
Ms. Kitty:
I
think I'm a gay or at least bi-sexual. I have noticed that recently, that
I am extremely attracted to women. I only want to masturbate to girl -
girl fantasy or to girl - girl porn movies... with a guy thrown in for good
measure, here and there. What do I do about these feelings? I want to
talk to my friends but I don't want to be judged. What if I am wrong, and
I tell everyone I am gay and find out it is just a phase and lose all my
friends over this? Help me Ms. Kitty and please with my name in...
Philly
First,
let me say your youth is the time of your life you are supposed to make
mistakes and experiment. There are some things in life that if you experiment
with it can possibly affect the rest of your life. Drugs and sexually
transmitted diseases being two. My suggestion: Philly is a great place to
experiment with your sexuality; they have a great gay community. Visit
some of the local gay bars; get a feel of the environment, change can always be
a little scary. See if you feel any attraction. If you get up enough
nerve talk to someone, if the attraction is there, go for it, but let her know
you have never been with a woman before, you are bi-curious.
Stay
away from words like, "let's see where this goes"; " I think
your great but I'm not gay"; and "I am just experimenting", just
like you don't want to be some lab experiment neither will they.
And
lastly, loosen up, I would run out in the streets screaming to anyone who will
listen that you were experimenting with your sexuality and looking for hot
lesbian love'n. Until you've had time to work out your feelings and your
sexuality. As for those girlfriends, if they are your friends, they love you
unconditionally, whether you’re bloated, cranky or gay and if they don't
while you are looking into your sexuality, look into getting new friends.
Happy
Hunting
For
entertainment purposes only- not a substitution for professional therapy.
The views expressed here are those of Ms. Kitty.
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