Mother do you think they'll drop the bomb?
1) The pizza line is always shorter than the sandwich line...but the sandwich line is always more healthy.
2) Taking the T does not necessarily mean getting to class any ealier
3) Ethernet is God.
4) The Hare Krishna temple on Comm Ave not only offers spiritual refreshment but also an amazingly delicious Indian meal (for free) which is much better than anything that will ever come out of the Dining Hall.
5) Downloading movies from the Internet is a lot less expensive and time consuming than going all the way to Blockbuster.
6) Getting drunk on your own in your room on a Saturday night is even more depressing than doing laundry on the same night.
7)Duct tape does wonders to windows
8)Sleep is God.
9) Life is like riding the T: With a little practice, you can look really cool riding it, but there will always be those times when the driver decides to screw you over and break suddenly, and you end up in some stranger's lap.
10)If potatoes are being served, EAT THEM! You may not see them again for a very long time...
11)The same is true for meats other than chicken.
12) When you see Nomar Garciaparra in a car driving down Comm Ave, stepping into traffic in a mad attempt to retrive autograph usually results in death. Better to wave and then gloat to friends about seeing Nomar, and stay alive.
13) When the tiles in the bathroom start rearranging themselves as little faces, you have been playing Snood too much
14) When the tiles in the bathroom start rearranging themselves as playing cards, you have been playing Solitaire too much.
15) When tampon wrappers start looking like fortune cookie fortunes, you have been eating too much chinese food.
16) There is nothing like shaving one's legs to make one feel like a slave to society.
17) Three elevators are always better than two.
18) Leaning on shower door whilst in process of showering = shower door opening = people you don't want seeing you naked = v. embarassing.
19) (This one credited to Sarah Robinson, oh wise sage...) Never, ever sample the 'all you can eat' ice cream bar' when there are three varietys of chocolate. you will eat 1,500 caloires in one sitting, and then be very sad
20) Ice skating with college kids is far less embarassing than skating with six year olds at Iceline in Westchester.
21) If you really really want good dining hall food when there's no one in there, go during the Superbowl or World Series.
22) If you want the local phone company to have pity on your inability to pay your bills, phone the morning after the Pats have won the superbowl.
23) If by some small chance the dining hall produces soemthing edible ANd nutritious, it should be eaten as if it were your last meal.
24) If the water eminating from the shower is brown, it's probably not a good idea to shower in it.
25) The fourth floor showers have greater water pressure and warmer temperatures.
26) Alternating the floors on which one showers brings more variety and spontanaeity to life. Furthermore, getting in the elevator in a towel with dripping wet hair is very liberating.
27) If it sounds like someone in the hall is being killed, going out to investigate often results in great embarassment at catching two drunk people having sex.
28) RAs don't give a crap about you unless you have made the effort to become their best friend from the first day.
29) Love is an exercise in uncertainty
30) Crossing Comm Ave. is like life - sometimes you have to make the mad dash for it just for the experience of getting across and having accomplished something. If you get run over then too bad, but there's not much you could have done about it.
31) Aquafina bottles leak.
32) Never venture into the closets under the sink in the Minella's bathroom.
33) Ambiguity should be banned
34) Online conversations are harzardous to the body, soul, and self esteem.
35) Family size packs of frozen peas last a LOOONG time
36) If anyone ever tells you girls are more sensitive than guys, it's bullshit.
37) The Victoria's Secret online mailing list is a very very very bad thing.
38) Time goes very slowly until you reflect on it.
39) Sex is not everything.
40) Regardless of whether we think we do or not, we do all learn from our mistakes, no matter how many times we have to make them for that to happen.
41) When all the boys in your life are treating you like shit, call your dad.
42) Not paying attention in shower = too much shampoo on head = blindness and pain = stepping on your razor = much mutilation of feet and more pain.
43) Bathtubs are god(s).
44) Life is like ironing. Sometimes you have to heat things up in order to smooth things out. And sometimes you end up getting burned.
(more to come...)
