Yet all that fills me is paranoia.
Paranoia that every hope will be revoked for the amusement of the ignorant.
That all the love given to me is merely a phantom gone with the rising of the sun.
That all the words given to me will fade to reveal a darker more realistic intent.
That those who wish to keep me close will burn my heart and watch it bleed as they fly away.
That I might go to sleep dreaming in vivid faith, trust, and love, but awaken to a darker shade of black.
That the one who wishes to stop my downward spiral will be the one to watch me fall.
That I will be facing the one clear face in my blurred insanity and turn around to greet the heavens laughing in my face.
That behind the smooth, passionate, trusting, meadow eyes lays the origin of all my worse fears.
I want to free myself of this torture that shouldn’t be. I want to soar past my unwarranted fear...
I’m held in my paranoia; a prisoner by my own subconscious. Breathing, thinking, feeling...yet not living.
I simply send my dreams on an empty wind for the grace to overcome myself, the grace to believe in the word, the grace to see who is already there....
