Joe and his Digimon

"The attention span of a gnat." -Joe (about Tai)

"Would you please stop taunting the deranged android?!" -Joe

"So we'll keep on trying, Joe. Because Digimon never give up. Like I always say. All for Mon and Mon for all!" -Gomamon

"Would someone mind helping me?!" -Joe
"Whoops. I forgot all about you." -Gomamon
"You forgot. I'm hanging here by my elbows, you're off in laa-laa land!" -Joe
"Gee, I wonder what it's like to have elbows." -Gomamon

"I tried positive thinking once. I was positive about one thing: I positively hated it!" -Joe

"We don't need a map to know we're totally lost." -Joe

"It's depressing, unless you're a big fan of charcoal." -Joe

"I have a question, do we trust a ping-pong ball with wings?" -Joe (about Piximon)

"Could you yell a little quieter?" -Joe

"Am I the only one who finds strolling leisurely through the sewers just the slightest bit disgusting?" -Joe

"Can anyone explain why we're tiptoeing instead of running for our lives?!" -Joe

"We'll never get out of here alive. I knew I wouldn't like summer camp, but would my parents listen to me? Noooo! I wanted to go to summer school." -Joe

"It is always better to be safe than sorry. Think first." -Joe

"You don't want to eat me. I'm mostly gristle anyway." -Joe

"Then we can stay here in the Digital World for up to... Let's see, carry the four, divide by three... A really, really long time!" -Joe

"I wonder if superheros are listed in the phone book." -Joe

"Jim was right. I'm a doormat. Good for a laugh. A joke. Yeah, good old Joe. You can always rely on him, to fall into the mud or off a cliff. Well, not any more. It's time for a brand new Joe!" -Joe

"Do you think when this whole thing started that we had any idea what the right thing to do was? Of course not! But that didn't stop us, did it. Maybe we're here for a reason. Maybe we're the only ones who can do it!" -Joe

"Just my luck. The second I start enjoying vacation, another monster tries to destroy the world." -Joe

"This is the most recurring nightmare I've ever been awake for!" -Joe

"This is one of those days where everything goes wrong." -Joe

"I'm not trying to put you on the spot or anything like that. I just think we all really believe in you, Tai." -Joe

"Listen, you never hear me complaining." -Joe

"This is going to be the big one, Joe. It's time to show your true self!" -Ikkakumon

"A C?! Forget about Myotismon, this is a real disaster!" -Gomamon (about Joe's grade)

"I wanna see a little get-up-and-Gomamon!" -Gomamon (to Joe)

"Don't we get points for enthusiasm?" -Gomamon

"I know it's gonna be hard to find a friend as great as I am, Gomamon. But, you'll have to try." -Joe
"Not a problem. I took an ad out in the personals. I've got five interviews lined up for next week." -Gomamon

"Maybe your harmonica playing is keeping him in hiding!" -Gomamon
"Everybody's a critic." -Joe

"You look bummed." -Gomamon
"How am I supposed to take care of you, is there a handbook or something? I feel very inadequate." -Joe
"Me too!" -Gomamon

"I just remembered that I forgot to remember something." -Joe

"Man! I was worried I'd catch a summer cold. But this is even worse!" -Joe (when it starts snowing at summer camp)

"Why do you think we almost killed ourselves coming to find you? Because you are part of the team!" -Joe (to Mimi)

"This is much worse then even I though it was!" -Joe

"I've got to be the cautious one around here. I have to be the voice of reason." -Joe

"I'm gonna eat it! At least I won't die hungry!" -Joe (about eating the food suspected of being dangerous)

"Can we trust this talking can-opener?" -Joe (about Datamon)

"I break out in hives in the dark." -Joe

"I miss doing homework. If I fall to far behind, I might have to go to a junior college." -Joe

"The salt air is killing my sinuses." -Joe

"If I'm responsible for everyone's safety, then I have to protect them." -Joe

"Of all the totally rude and selfish... it's unbelievable... you guys are supposed to be my friends... my friends... my friends!" -Joe (after everyone else spent their subway money on food and didn't leave any for him)

"He was meaner than a cat taking a bath." -Joe (about Ogremon)

"Fortunately, I landed on the one part of my body that has a built-in airbag." -Joe (after landing on his backside)

"I don't like adventure. I'm a stay-at-home-and-read kind of guy." -Joe

"I'm allergic - ow! - allergic to pain!!" -Joe (while being beat up by the Bakemon)

"For someone without a hand, you've got a pretty strong grip." -Gomamon

"In the words of our friends, he's, like, a loser!" -Gomamon (about Bakemon)

"I think you actually have a sense of humor... Well, maybe not." -Gomamon (to Joe)

"What was that, a floating fish market?" -Joe
"Lucky for us those fish were having a school reunion. Ha, ha!" -Gomamon
"Huh?" -Joe
"I'm kidding. Those fish are good friends of mine and I just asked them for a lift!" -Gomamon
"Wow, and all these years I thought I was allergic to seafood! Thank you!" -Joe

"I should have known. What made me think the boats would be working when nothing else is?" -Joe
"It could be worse. We could be stuck in some crazy--" -Gomamon
"Please stop saying it could be worse. I have news for you, pal, it is worse! The whole world is stuck in turmoil, and we're waiting for a ride into town!" -Joe
"We might as well just give up right now." -Gomamon
"Well, I wouldn't go that far... After all, it could be worse." -Joe

"Sometimes I just hafta trick him." -Gomamon
"Did you just say something?" -Joe
"Uh, yeah. Nice night for a walk. "-Gomamon
"You're nuts." -Joe
"What's so bad about that? I sure have more fun!" -Gomamon

"We make quite a team!" -Gomamon
"Actually, we do!" -Joe

"I hope I don't get any monster cooties." -Joe

"Give him that old Gomamon charm!" -Joe

"For once in your life, get off the computer and answer the phone!!" -Joe (about Izzy)

"I know this is no day at the beach, Joe, but there's no reason to be a worry-wart about it, and make all your friends unhappy. Pardon the pun, but chill out. Only you've got a problem with the cold. Everyone think warm." -Gomamon
"I'm allergic to fur." -Joe

"Hi, this is Joe. Sorry I can't answer my cell phone right now, but I had to turn it off so it wouldn't ring during my biology test. I'm pretty good at biology, so I'll turn it back on real soon. Unless the test is on molecular biology... Ohh, I'd better study. Bye!" -Joe's cell phone message

"Please let the bell ring. Please get me out of here!" -Joe

"Gomamon, speak to me!" -Joe
"Joe...?" -Gomamon
"What day of the week is it?" -Joe
"Saturday?" -Gomamon
"Actually, it's Thursday, but you never did know the day, so you're back to your old self!" -Joe

"What?! Did I just hear you eating again?!" -Joe
"Uh-huh." -Gomamon
"Didn't I tell you not to eat up all the food, since we don't know when we'll find land? We need to save food for later... as in much later!" -Joe
"But it is later, Joe. You told me that twenty minutes ago." -Gomamon
"Twenty minutes is not much later! Please tell me that there's still some food in the bag!" -Joe
"Well, no. Seeing how you can't handle eating and floating on the ocean at the same time, I ate it all. Besides, I need food to digivolve in case we run into bad Digimon." -Gomamon
"Have you seen any bad Digimon? No! If I starve, who are you going to protect?!" -Joe

"That crate is going to hit us!" -Gomamon
"Maybe it's full of fruit, vegetables, bread, milk, cereal, hamburgers, hit dogs, cookies, candy, and soda!" -Joe
"I wish." -Gomamon
"You wish?! We wouldn't need food if you hadn't eaten it all!" -Joe
"You're strong when you're hungry." -Gomamon
"Starvation is a good motivator." -Joe

"Excuse me while I throw up." -Joe

"This stupid bickering is giving me a gigantic headache." -Joe

"I'm skipping this one, too. I just don't like to eat on an empty stomach. Besides, I don't even know what that stuff it, but I'm sure I'm allergic to it." -Joe (about the Yokomon's food)

"Tired, hungry, sinking..." -Ikkakumon
"Sinking is bad!" -Joe

"Great, a frozen wasteland, just like I always wanted." -Gomamon

"Well, it looks like someone needs a time-out in the corner!" -Gomamon

"That's not why I did it. It's because I'm just a nice guy. And besides, Joe would have fallen on his head. I didn't have anything better to do anyway." -Gomamon (about digivolving for the first time)

"Now that's the spirit Joe, you've become a real man lately." -Gomamon
"So, you're saying I wasn't a real man before, huh? Are you man enough not to laugh when I tickle you?" -Joe

"This is depressing. Even as a computer program I still have allergies." -Joe

“I’m allergic to cooking." -Joe

"I hope I don't get any monster cooties." -Joe

"Did you really have to bring along a souvenir?" -Joe (to Zudomon; about Scorpiomon)

"I was hoping to skip algebra class, but not like this!" -Joe

"I used to have a Chihuahua named Princess." -Joe

"I've always hated any form of exercise-- what's happening to me?!" -Joe

"How come I never get to be the hero?" -Joe

"Call me cynical, but nothing surprises me about this place." -Joe

"Ever notice we're always at the wrong place at exactly the wrong time?" -Joe

"Oh, just great. A flying horse wearing a mask. This can't be good." -Joe

"Too bad we didn't catch him on a good day. Watch out!" -Joe
"Maybe this is a good day." -Gomamon
"This is not good!" -Joe