Do you feel LOST? DO YOU FEEL HOPELESS? THERE IS HOPE, TRULY THERE IS! I AM LIVING PROOF OF THIS! FOR THE HOPE AND ENCOURAGEMENT I AM TALKING ABOUT, PLEASE, PLEASE, READ THIS WHOLE PAGE!
THANK-YOU!
MIKE
or me, for surgery. Jan. 25,1992 was the soonest he could do it. Nov.18,1991, I had a severe bowel infection that hospitalized me for a week. Nov.28,1991, my mother came down with a severe blood infection that almost killed her. By Christmas of 1991, everything seemed to be quieting down. Jan.25,1992, I had major back surgery in which they implanted rods, plates and screws in my lower back. The spine specialist told my wife , after the surgery, that the fusion had indeed crumbled.
March 12,1992, I was hospitalized for another severe bowel infection. A surgeon came into my room three hours after I had a CT. on my abdomen. He stated that I should have the infected section of my bowel taken out immediately. He also told me that the bowel wall was paper thin and could burst at any time. I told him that I had, had major back surgery in Jan. and would need permission from the spine specialist for this surgery. I called the spine specialist, he said that I could not have another surgery for at least three to four more months. He said a surgery now could kill me. After three and half tense months, on June 12,1992 I had 13 1/2" of my bowel removed. I was released from the hospital at the end of the week. I became violently ill, I had contracted Hepatitis A in the hospital. January 28,1993 I had a Dorsal Column Stimulator implanted in my back as a test. This radio sized unit sends electrical impulses into the damaged nerves in my lower back, to block the pain signals. March 13, 1993, I had the Dorsal Column Stimulator permanently implanted in my nerve canal. I had a severe spinal fluid leak following the surgery. I woke up March 15,1993, with a severe head- ache, nausea and vertigo. But a blizzard was raging, and I couldn't get to the hospital. Monday March 17,1993, my youngest brother broke through the snow and took me up to the hospital. I was in the hospital for four days. The doctors wanted to do a blood patch,(they inject blood into the spinal column to plug the spinal fluid leak), but the couldn't. The tests showed I had to much scarring on my spine and they were afraid they might break a needle off inside of me. So I had to lay face down for three days, till my head felt better. The headache was like the kind when you eat something extremely cold and it goes to your head. But multiply it by ten times the pain. It also felt like my head was being pulled into my neck.
January 12,1994, my oldest brother who has MS., fell on the ice and broke his leg in three places. Even though I have terrible pain, I must help them. Feb. 16,1994, my mother's basement is flooding from the quick warm up and melting snow and the rain. What a mess, it is sooo hard to try to help and suffer so bad at the same time. April 1994 the company I had worked for, forced a settlement down my throat. It is about 1/3 of what I need. The rep. who dealt with me said I would just have to learn to live at a lower standard of living! I guess the 20 years of excellent service I gave my company meant nothing to them. According to the workman's comp. rules in my state, the company only had to pay me for ten years wages in a settlement. Since they gave me more than they had to, I was stuck, because if I stayed on workman's comp. I would have lost my house. At least this way my house will be paid. Two days after my meeting with my former company, my mother was hospitalized. The main arteries to her heart are 90% to 96% blocked. The next day she had quadruple by-pass surgery. Even though she is a brittle diabetic, she came through the surgery in good shape.(praise God!) We were so worried that when they took the blood vessels out of her legs that she might eventually loose her legs, but praise God her legs look fine! June 3,1994 my wife and I were going to the store, a driver came through a stop sign, I hit the person's car broadside. My shoulder harness didn't hold me. I flew into the steering column. As a result of the accident, I now have pain in my lower back again. Also received a whip lash injury, which resulted in a bulged disc at the C-6 level in my neck.
This bulged disk is putting some pressure on the nerve to my hand and fingers.
August 1997 I have moderate to severe pain in my lower back, in my legs. I have this pain 24hrs. a day. I also have pain in my hands and fingers (caused by the bulged disk. I also have problems with my digestive tract, because it was shortened by the bowel re-sectioning surgery. I should be upset and worried that my life and my future are gone. But my wife and I have contentment, joy, and peace! This could only come from God!
November 1998 I am still suffering in severe pain! Arthritis is setting in both hips, where I had the bone marrow taken out to do the fusion in both my first and second back surgeries. On cold damp rainy days it feels like salt was poured into and open wounds on both hips and my lower back. But God gets me through each and every day, especially since I have the knowledge that my pain will only get worse instead of better.
God has given me the talent for computers. I am building, repairing and upgrading computers! I only get one to three total hours a day, that my pain is low enough to allow me to do this, but that fact that I learned so much in so short a period of time is amazing to me. I cannot sit in class and when I checked into the home study courses in computer repair, I learned I am far advanced of those.
November 1999 My wife has a home cleaning business, she advertised in the fall, for new homes to clean. The one she chose to clean, on Mondays, is the woman that went through the stop sign and caused the accident that made the pain in my lower back so much worse. Also recently, my wife advertised for homes to clean again, because the person she cleaned for on Thursdays moved away. The person my wife chose to clean for, is the doctor that said there was nothing wrong with my first spinal fusion. He wrote things in my medical reports that made it hard for me to get medical help from the doctors I saw after that. Neither of these people know who my wife and I are. But through God's grace and help, my wife and I are able to forgive these people and to pray for them! The fact that they answered my wife's ad in the first place has to be from God. The chances of this happening are to great to be anything else! All these things are gifts from God!
Feb.2001. I suffer with severe pain in my legs and feet. I have very little feeling below my knees. I have digestive problems. I have pain in my hands and fingers. I have extreme pain in my lower back and left hip, especially on damp cloudy days. You ask what does this guy have to look forward to in his future. God carries me through each painful day. I know one day I will be with Jesus and have a pain free body!
August,2003, I have Type 2 Diabetes. I take 2 pills a day. This means I am further restricted as to what type of food I can eat. The pain in my legs and feet are extreme. I have
pain in my neck from the auto accident and must do special neck exercises or I can't move my head side to side. I have arthritis in my right and left hips where they took the bone marrow out for my back surgeries.
I am sure glad I have God on my side, I would not be able to tolerate the terrible pain I must endure. I could not handle this, if it were not for the matchless grace of God.
The pain is much worse today, I am taking a time released pain medication, it doesn't ever take the pain away, it just dulls it! There are calcium deposits
on the bottom of my spine starting to get larger and one day soon I will need to have them surgically removed.
Since the interest rates have dropped so far, I have lost a lot of the income we had coming in, also my wife's cleaning business has really suffered. But we keep trusting God for help meeting our needs!
My mother is a born again Christian and has been for many years. She is an insulin dependent diabetic. In 1994 she had quadruple bypass, during the procedure they took blood vessels from her legs to do the bypasses. Now she is having circulation problems with her legs and feet. Her left foot is infected with a really deep sore and refuses to heal. She is in danger of having to have this foot amputated if it doesn't heal! She is nearly blind from the diabetes. Please pray that her wound heals, that she can walk and live a more normal life!
As an update on her condition. Her foot didn't heal and had to be amputated. My mother will soon be 80 years old, but she learned to walk with an artificial leg. She is getting by quite well!
Recently my mother's condition has gotten worse, her
heart valves are leaking, due to her poor physical condition she cannot have surgery to repair them, she
is really short of breath!
She relies on God's wonderful power to get her through
each day! Thank-you for your prayers for her!
12/05/2005. My mother is in the hospital. She had a minor heart attack. The doctors say that her heart valves are leaking and need to be replaced. But her kidneys have quit working permanently.
The doctors say that my mother will soon die. She is looking forward to being in heaven with Jesus.
12/20/2005
My mother is near death, the doctors think it may be down to days and maybe hours. Yet she is pleasant and sweet to be around.
12/21/7pm. My mother has died and is in heaven!
I will really miss her!
12/09/2005
My diabetes has stabilized somewhat. I am in pain all day long. The pain killers do little more than make life livable. I can only wear shoes and socks for short periods of time. Having to look forward to a life in pain would drive me insane, if it were not for the strength that God gives me daily.
12/20/2005 My recent doctor's visit revealed that my
blood sugar levels for the past three months have averaged 210, which is way to high. The Dr. thinks it is due to stress. I may have to go on insulin!
12/25/05 This has to be the saddest Christmas I have ever spent. I do not feel like eating.
12/26/05 I woke up this morning with severe abdominal pain. I am afraid I didn't eat enough yesterday and my digestive tract has shut down. I spent most of the day with severe abdominal pain , that with the severe pain in my legs, ( I can't take anything for pain because I am nauseated too. At 1pm my younger brother took my wife and I to the emergency room. It took till
8pm till they got my digestive tract started again. I will not describe here what the doctor and nurses had to do, but it was not a pleasant experience. Yet my wife and I get our strength to go on, through prayer. God always answers when I call upon him, if you need him, call upon the Lord!
1/7/2006. Hopefully I can get my blood sugar under control. Yet I am not afraid about my future, I learned that I have to place my cares and worries about the future into God's Hands!
1/18/06. This morning as I write this my pain is moderate, but my blood sugar was over 290 last night.
I am making the appointments to be put on a nightly insulin dose.
1/25/2006 My blood sugar levels are way to high. I have the appointment to be shown how to inject myself, I will be on insulin starting
1/26/06 I was thinking today about how much money I received last year. To think, back in 1991 when I went off work permanently, my yearly income was over $32,000 a year. Last year I brought in less than $17,000 a year. If I was still working at my old job, I would be bringing in over $42,000 a year. I know that my wife and I would not have made it these years financially without God helping us through. I should be worried about my future, yet I know my future is completely in God's hands! The only thing I can do is trust and obey!
2/8/2006 I have gone through the classes to teach me to give myself a shot. The doctor put me on a basal insulin. The only problem is it is going to take a couple of weeks till the saturation point is reached, and then we can adjust the dosage to bring down my blood sugar. This morning my blood sugar was 292! Part of this is caused by the stress of being in intense pain when I wake up. I have noticed that after my pain starts backing off my blood sugars get better also. What concerns me is that my mother went blind, lost her leg, lost most of the feeling in both legs, and her kidneys were damaged to the point that it killed her. All because of diabetes. But yet I know that no matter what happens, God is with me, and I am not afraid.
2/13/2006 My morning blood sugars are really high, I called my doctor today, he gave me permission to raise the dose of insulin. He is very concerned, too! My waking blood sugar yesterday, was 326, this morning was 292.
2/17/2006 My doctor, (God bless him for sticking by me all these years), upped my insulin to 15, my blood sugars are coming down, they are still way to high. Another problem has arisen, since about three years after my last back surgery. I had problems laying on my back. Mostly I would sleep on my side, both hips are always sore, because that is where the surgeon had to take out the bone marrow for my 2 fusion surgeries. Now my hips hurt so bad I can no longer sleep on either side for more than an hour or so. I am now forced to sleep on my lounge chair in the living room. I wonder how I would have made it this far, if Jesus wasn't keeping me going?
2/19/2006 My Blood sugars are really high today. It feels like it is taking forever to bring them down. But we must adjust my insulin to meet my needs, and this will take a while. Yet I am basically happy, and content. I am not happy that I have to suffer this way, but I am also not worried about tomorrow! I know God will take care of my tomorrows.
2/20/2006: 12:35am. It will be another 2 hours before the pain is low enough for me to be able to sit in my recliner, to be able to drop off to sleep. I was listening to others talk about their retirement plans and their 401k plans. The time in my life that I was supposed to be saving for retirement, the last 16 years was spent in pain. The money that my wife and I had saved is mostly gone. The only retirement I will have is 20 years in the company that I got injured, and Social Security. The company where I used to work, went bankrupt and who knows about Social Security. Yet, I have no fears for the future! I know I should be afraid, God has gotten me this far, and I know that he will provide for my wife and I in the future, too! I cannot explain the peace I feel.
2/22/2006 Blood sugars are still to high, but are starting to come down into the safe zone. The last time I was totally pain free, was June 12,1990 at 10:29 in the morning. My doctor was worried about me becoming depressed. This has not been a problem for me, I thank God every day for the help he gives me!
God never promised that life would be easy, just that he would be here for us, all we have to do is ask!
2/23/2006 Today the pain is really bad. It looks like this is going to be a down day for me. I cannot tolerate wearing shoes. This day I will be leaning ever so hard on God's strong hand!
3/1/2006 My blood sugars are still to high.
3/11/2006 I was able to get some things done around the house, the pain pills allowed me to wear shoes a little longer. But I am really paying for it tonight. I will be up all night with pain. My blood sugars are still to high. I am so glad that God helps me through long nights like the one that's ahead of me tonight.
3/18/2006 My blood sugars are finally getting down to where they should be, I truly hope there is no damage to my body! I was at my mother's house the other day, with my brother. We went to make sure everything is okay for the new owners. It is so odd not seeing my mother, I've accepted I won't see her or my father, till I get to heaven. I just miss her!
3/19/2006 Today was an extremely bad day.
4-9-2006 This past week was an especially hard week.
The pain pills I take, the company I worked for agreed to pay for them. This was part of the settlement, I signed April 15,1995. Now this company is coming out of bankruptcy, and are trying to get rid of dead weight like me. Even though this could mean serous financial ramifications for my wife and I, if they are successful. They are trying hard to legally stop paying for my pain medications, even though it was their employee that caused the accident, that ruined my life. I am truly glad that I have heaven to look forward to, it makes living here much easier!
4-10-2006 Today my pain was low enough that I could work around the house for a couple of hours. I rarely get a day like this and was grateful for it. When my pain got to bad to continue, I quit and went inside to wash up. I started to really feel bad, I checked my blood sugar and it was 58, I ate some candy, and checked it again in three min., it was 56, I ate a spoon full of frosting and checked it in three min. and it was going back up. I guess this is the only time I will be able to have non-diabetic frosting.
4-13-2006 My wife has a house cleaning business, today
my wife came home and said that one of her major customers left her a note saying that they don't need her services; this will leave a hole in our finances!
God has never left us down, he has always provided for our needs. My wife and I are content and happy, we shouldn't be, but we are!
6-3-06 The days blur one into another. My pain levels remain high, yet I get a couple of hours a day that my pain levels are low enough, that I can do chores and things that normal people can do. I thank God for these precious couple of hours. In heaven I will have a pain free body, no pain, no suffering. I am truly looking forward to heaven!
5-5-06 This morning when I awoke, I had a bad time of it. My vision went away, I could not see, I broke out in an whole body sweat. I got extremely dizzy. My body shook. I tried to check my blood sugar, it took awhile to steady my hand and try to find everything. The center of my vision was one bright bloom of white color. When the meter finally beeped announcing my blood sugar, it was 48. I took the emergency glucose tablets, but I kept getting worse. I had to sit down, because I was on the verge of passing out. My wife awoke and came out to help me. After fifteen min. my blood sugar finally started going back up. I feel very weak now, and that was 6 hours ago!
5-22-06 My diabetes is more controlled. The pain is really bad. I am active for ten or twenty min. and the pain goes above a level 8 very quickly. Friday night we were doing wash. When I went into the basement it smelled like the dryer was on fire. It turned out that both the washer and dryer both were overheated. The dryer was throwing sparks and the washer burned out a belt and drive motor. This is the fifth time in 15 months something major has stopped working. The dish washer died Feb. a year ago, the garage door and the refrigerator last spring. Patty's car cost over $400 twice last summer, now the washer and dryer. When you have an income that is just above poverty level, these things happening are hard to deal with! Yet each time God has provided the money needed to fix or replace these things. Each time
when we needed it, the money was there!
5-22-06 My wife called from her client's house to tell me that her client is moving away and will not need her to clean for them. If this keeps up, we will be living at poverty level. Yet I trust God will keep us through this!
5-29-06 My wife woke up with pink eye today.
6-6-06 My wife's eyes are healed. We know that we suffer here, but when we get to heaven, there will be no suffering! Thank you God!
6-10-06 The pain is really bad today. I am trying to push myself to get some work done around the house. I can't keep shoes and socks on for very long, because of the severe pain in my feet and lower legs. I doubt that I will get much done today. I have to let these things in God's hands, since they beyond my ability!
6-11-06 Last night, gave me a moment of pause! I had just finished giving myself my insulin shot. About ten min. later, my blood sugar started really dropping.
I couldn’t see because of bright flashes of light blinded me, I got the shakes really bad, the sweat poured out of me. No matter what I did, I could not get my blood sugar to come back up. I took 4 glucose tablets, I ate Hershey Kisses. It kept dropping! I had to wake my wife, because I felt like I was about to pass out. She got up out of bed to help me. It took 45 min. to bring my blood sugar back up.
6-27-2006 Here in the North East we have been getting
rain for 4 days now. The heat and humidity are making my lower back almost unbearable. The bone marrow donor sites on both of my hips are so sore, even the elastic band of my clothing makes it hurt. Laying in bed is impossible, it feels like there is a three pronged fork being driven in my lower back. I wonder how those that suffer and don't know Jesus as their personal savior make it through the day. Some days, especially lately, I have been living min. by min.
My blood sugar is doing pretty good right now. I have only had three low blood sugar events the past couple of weeks!
6-28-2006 Yesterday I almost got a chance to be with Jesus in Heaven! I have cheap disk brake pads on the front of my truck. I didn't think anything about it till yesterday morning. I have never had a problem with my brakes! There is a large hill, almost a small mountain near my home. I went to the pharmacy to get my many prescriptions. I felt my blood sugar starting to run low. You know the lovely getting soaking wet sweated, the shakes. I took a glucose tablet and headed for home in a hurry. Well I was pushing my truck harder than usual, when I came down the very steep hill. I was still pushing it hard through the corners. At the bottom of the hill there is a steep incline, then a stop sign and a busy highway.
I got part way down the hill, when I touched the brakes, I didn't have any, so I pushed them harder, yet I wasn't slowing down. I jammed on the brakes as hard as I could. The truck slowed down but I went through the stop sign and got stopped in the middle of the lane of the highway. There were no vehicles coming, which is very unusual. If there had been a car coming, it would have impacted right on my drivers door. Thank-you God. I guess God isn't quite ready for me yet!
I will be getting better brake shoes installed!
7-5-06 It is rainy and damp here today. My lower back and bone marrow donor sites ache like a bad tooth that someone jammed a needle into! I never knew such pain existed!
7-15-2006 Yesterday I had a really good day. I haven't had a day like this in months. My pain was lower than normal. Even though it was really hot and humid, I went outside and got some work done. Am I ever paying for it today. I can hardly walk and my pain levels are terrible! But I think it was worth this pain to have a day where I could actually get something done!
7-22-2006 It has been hot and really humid the past three weeks with very little relief! The humidity spikes the pain in my incision sights to 9+ pain level.
God gives me the ability to have my mind go somewhere else when the pain is this high and the pain meds. don't help much!
7-27-2006 The pain is really bad today! My blood sugars have finally stabilized, although they are in the 70's at night and I have to be careful. This oppressive heat is making me a prisoner in my own home!
8-2-2006 Today is extremely hot. I feel sick in the stomach, my pain is bad. I have nasty sinus headache from the corn pollinating. The company where I was injured, the company as part of the settlement signed a contract to pay for my pain pills, till I die. Today they closed my account and refused to pay for my pain pills. They know I have no money to hire a lawyer! This will really impact my income, as I already pay out $200 a month in prescriptions. I know God will help us and make sure we have enough money to live on!
8-4-2006 I said to my wife today, I don't remember what it was like to be pain free. I have lived with this terrible pain for 16 years. When I don't think I can go on, God lifts me up and keeps me going!
8-13-2006 Today is an especially bad day, my pain levels have been extreme all afternoon. I pray I soon get some relief!
8-14-2006 Another really bad day. I am glad my pain has finally gone down this evening.
8-16-2006 Last night was a very bad night. My pain levels remained high most of the night. I did get about 4 hours sleep!
8-20-2006 The pain is very bad today. It looks like today will be a down day. I cannot wear shoes and socks, walking is very painful. Yet I know that I could not have tolerated this horrible pain this long, with out God's help! It's days like this, that I appreciate God's love and help the most!
8-28-2006 The pain is very bad today. Sometimes the days blur one into another. The heat is not nearly as bad and my blood sugars are where they are supposed to be, thank-you God for that! Without God, I don't know how I would make it through days like these!
8-28-2006 My wife found out today that she will be losing another customer, as today’s customer is moving away. If this keeps up, we will be living below the poverty level. God never said that it would be easy here on earth, just that he will be with us! I am glad
God is with us, and keeping us going! How do those that don’t know Jesus, get by when times get tough?
9-5-2006 My pain levels are extremely bad today. My incision sites, especially were the doctors took the bone marrow out of my hips for the fusion part of my back surgeries. But the incision site where the doctors did my four back surgeries hurts bad, too. I will be glad when this day ends and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. If my pain levels don’t go down, it looks like I will be up most of the night with pain. As it is, I have to keep my mind busy at night till I get sleepy enough to override the pain. My dear sweet wife stays by my side and helps me throughout the day and is there if I need her at night. I thank God for her! God gives me the strength to face tomorrow, I am so glad God loves and helps me! There is nothing to hard for God! I also thank God that it has cooled off and we got rain, even though the dampness ramps up my pain two fold!
9-10-2006 I miss being able to sit in church! All the little things that I could do, that are now not possible for me to enjoy. Yet God gives me peace and contentment with the life I have now. Thank you, GOD!
9-12-2006 The pain is really bad today! My wife called this morning, today's customer is moving out of the area and my wife will lose them as a customer.
This is a big blow to our finances! Yet I know God cares and will provide for us!
9-13-2006 It is damp and rainy today. My incision sites feel like an open wound that someone put salt into.
9-20-2006 We received word that my wife’s father is at death’s door. He is in a coma and hasn’t responded for almost a week. My left hip popped out of joint yesterday morning. It popped back in almost right away. After my hip pops out like that, it is extremely sore for a couple of days. Today I am having trouble getting around on it.
09-26-2006 My wife's father died. My left hip hurts really bad today, it feels like an open wound that salt was poured into it.
09-30-06 Today was the first day that the pain stayed below a 5 most of the day. The clouds and rain are moving in and my hips and lower back ache like tooth ache. But most of the day wasn't as bad as most days.
10-07-2006 The company where I got hurt, the one that promised to pay for my pain meds. for the rest of my life, closed the account. As a result, my prescription bill is over $369.00 a month. This is tough, considering that my income is just at the poverty line. All my other expenses keep rising. I truly don’t know what to do, I only get 1 to 2 hours daily that my pain levels are low enough for me to wear shoes and socks and be active. Yet I am not worried, I know God will take care of my wife and I! God Cares!
10-10-2006 Yesterday, my wife and I went to the local mall to go shopping. Usually when we go shopping, I usually end up sitting in the truck and wait for my wife to go in and out of the store. After visiting three stores, my pain was so bad I could not go any further. I couldn't stand long enough to look for what we wanted and we ended up coming home much earlier than we wanted. Today my pain is really high, because I pushed myself yesterday. Some day soon I will have a new body, that will be pain free and legs that do what I want them to do, and not go into cramps and give out.
10-11-2006 It was a damp day today. My legs felt like they had 50 pound weights on them. My incision sites, (both hips and lower back), really hurt today.
The pain is like a living, breathing entity, which refuses to leave!
10-15-2006 Another night spent sitting on the recliner,
waiting for sleep to finally win out over the pain. The hard part in all this, is not being able to sleep with my wife! She tells me that she misses me being in bed, each morning when she gets up. Yet God gives us happiness and contentment. We know a couple that are both doctors. They are active, the own a house in ski country. They drive new vehicles. They go away to other countries several times a year on vacation. Yet they are not happy or contented very long. I have found that true happiness and contentment comes from God!
10-17-2006 Another bad night of severe pain, unable to lie down, or sit for more than a couple of min. at a time. It felt as though there was a large sharp knife jammed into to lower part of my spine and hips. It took till after 4am. to get the pain low enough for me to finally sleep a couple of hours, before the pain woke me again.
10-19-2006 Today some thoughtful person deposited globs of grease mixed with either ink or paint on my cement front porch. Now I have large stains on my porch. I cannot physically scrub this off, I guess it will have to wear off. Father the person who did this needs your help. Please Father God, help him or her, bless him or her, and if he or she isn't already a born again Christian. Please Father God help them to become a born again Christian. In Jesus's Holy Name I Pray! Amen!
10-22-2006 Yet another long night of pain! But my wife and I are happy together! We are going to be way short financially to meet our obligations in November. We haven't had a vacation for over 12 years. My hips and lower back ache all the time, I have severe pain in my lower legs and feet. I have a bulged disk in the c-6 location in my neck, which from time to time I get pain that starts in my neck and ends up as a nasty head ache, especially if as I sleep on my recliner, and my head isn't supported properly. The company that promised to pay for my medications for my back, has abandoned me, and left me with a huge debt every month. My diabetes costs me over $200 a month. Yet through all of this, my wife and I are content and actually happy together. This can only come from God!
10-26-2006 Yesterday was a terrible day. The cold north wind made my incision sites ache like a very bad tooth. My legs felt like I had 30lb weights on them. And I had no energy and just dragged myself through the day! I hope this cold north wind eases.
10-26-2006 We found out that my wife's aunt had several mini strokes. This is one of my wife's aunts that was there for my wife throughout her life. Especially when my wife's parent shunned and abandoned her, this aunt encouraged her!
11-11-2006 Yesterday was a very bad day, my pain stayed
most of the day. I didn't get the late day two or three hours of lower pain I usually get. I had to push myself all day! This morning I felt so bad, I nearly passed out! My legs were very weak and the pain levels were very high! This afternoon was much better, thank-you God!
11-12-2006 It is cold and damp here today. My lower back and the incision sites on my hips feel like they have knives stuck in them and someone is twisting the knives every so often. Add that to the pain in my feet, I feel really miserable physically, today!
11-16-2006 It was a rainy damp day, and my lower back and hips ached like tooth ache. My legs felt like I have 30lb. weights on them. I cannot remember what it is like to have feeling in my feet and to be pain free!
11-21-2006 The pain is bad this morning, my coordination in my feet and legs is off. I am so grateful for the hour or two I get a day, when the pain is low enough for me to do the things that I want to do.
11-23-2006 I have severe pain in my lower back. I cannot ease it no matter what I do. It is damp and raw here today. I tried everything I know to do, but the pain just isn't backing down! I would never make it through days like this, if God didn't give me the strength to endure!
11-26-2006 The pain is extremely bad today. I can't make the pain level go down, no matter what I do.
12-01-2006 Today is a really bad day. I pray I can get relief!
12-02-2006 My niece is getting married today. I pray that my pain is low enough that I can go to her wedding.
12-06-2006 A really bad day today, my legs feel like they have 100lb. weights holding them down, and the pain is really bad today.
12-09-2006 I fell hard this morning and tore a large piece of skin off of my shin! Thank-you God, that I didn't break a bone. Of course if I had landed on my head, there would not have been any damage, except to the floor!
12-13-2006 I am still a bit sore from my fall, at least I can wear pants without the wound on my leg oozing through. Having to pay out over $369 a month for prescriptions, is so very hard! Especially this time of year, when I would like to buy presents for my family and friends. These prescriptions are the ones that the company, where I got injured. Agreed to pay for, in the settlement. And has abandoned me! Yet God has gotten us through this month so far, both physically and financially!
12/21/2006 This morning the pain is moderate, I can't wear shoes and socks though. Whenever I feel down, or feel like quiting. I call on God to give me the strength to go on. He helps me each and every time I call upon him!
12-22-2006 My dear wife has had severe abdominal pain the past three days. It has been getting worse as the days go on. The doctors think it is appendicitis, she is going for tests today! Thank you God for modern medicine!
1-08-2007 My wife is well! We received a notice from the insurance company that we will probably have to pay over $1300.00 of my wife's medical treatment bill.
I am just thankful to God that she is well again! We will trust God for the money to pay this bill off!
1-11-2007 Last Thursday my truck battery died. I am thankful it gave me a warning before it died and didn't let me set somewhere away from home. The pain
hasn't been nearly as bad as it was several weeks ago.
This I am thankful for. I miss being able to sleep with my wife, sleeping on the recliner every night gets kind of lonely. But I am grateful that I can get
4 hours of uninterrupted sleep!
1-12-2007 The bill for my wife's medical treatment came today. It is over $1300! My wife's health insurance premiums are over $260 a month. Because of the cost of her premiums, she had to take a $1500 deductible on her insurance policy. I am just thankful
that my wife is feeling almost like herself again!
1-13-2007 Today is a very bad day for me. It is damp and rainy out. My lower back and hips ache like a bad tooth ache. My lower legs feel like they have 50lb. weights on them. My feet hurt so bad that I can't wear shoes and socks. It's days like this that I would rather just skip and go to the next day!
1-21-2007 My pain levels are really bad today. I pray this day gets over with quickly!
1-27-2007 Another bad day. Pain levels are awful! God, please give me strength!
1-31-2007 I feel really bad today. Please God help me through this day!
2-7-2007 I am having a really bad day today. Pain levels are really high, my feet hurt so bad, standing and walking is really painful! My blood sugar levels are much higher on days that my pain is bad like this.
2-8-2007 Today is another bad day pain wise. The pain is a white hot burning intense pain! It varies in intensity from day to day.
2-15-2007 Yesterday, and today are the two worst days I have spent, since before my second back surgery. The pain was bad enough, but the muscle spasms in my lower back, kept me awake all night!
2-16-2007 On top of the really bad pain, I now have a nasty sore throat and cold! One thing I am very thankful for, this is the first cold and sore throat I have had in about thirteen years! Thank-you! GOD!
2-18-2007 My wife now has a nasty cold!
2-20-2007 The doctor says it isn't a cold. My dear wife is very sick today! Please God heal her. Thank-you God for all things that you give us!
2-25-2007 My wife is a lot better today. Thank-you God! She is so upset over the $460 her illness cost.
I tell her that she has recovered and is almost well again. Today is my Birthday, I am 54 years old today.
This all started when I was 38 years old, 16 years I have been in pain! I do not remember what it is like not to have pain!
You know the bible says that life will not be fair, but promises that God will be with you and help you through. God helps me through each trial that I have had to go through. When I feel like giving up, God gives me the power to go on. I know my time on earth is short compared to eternity with God. No pain, hunger, just a wonderful life of joy and no more sorrows.
3-3-2007 Our two dogs have been sick the past day. Vomiting, etc. This morning the one dog was vomiting blood, we have to take her to the vet today!
3-7-2007 Our dogs are doing good!
3-9-2007 The past three days were really bad, my pain levels were 9+ each day for most of the day. These kind of days really wear on me both mentally and physically.
3-14-2007 My wife lost another customer today! In the
past 4 months, we have lost over $2400 to illnesses, lost customers and other out of the ordinary things that have happened! These kind of losses are devastating!
3-18-2007 Today was a really bad day, my pain was bad from 4am untill I finally fell asleep around 12:30am Sunday morning.
3-19-2007 This is another bad day. I hope the day goes quickly!
3-20-2007 My blood sugar is running very high again.
3-21-2007 This morning I had an extremely low blood sugar reading! Cold sweats, jitters, coming very close to passing out.
3-31-2007 I recently had a blood test taken. It
showed that my diabetes is causing kidney damage. My doctor put me on pills to slow the damage rate. Thank- God that it was caught in time!
4-4-2007 It is cold and damp here today. I feel like death warmed over!!
4-08-2007 I look forward to when Jesus comes and takes me to heaven, and I have no pain. Today was a bad day!
I must stay here and take care of my dear wife. One day soon, I pray that I can drop the gloves and quit fighting to stay here and be in heaven. How do I know heaven and God are real, every day God gives me the power and strength to make through this ordeal called life!
4-21-2007 My pain is extremely bad the past couple of days. I am only getting an hour or so a day that the pain is low enough to do some things I enjoy.
4-23-2007 My wife went to get a perm, the hairdresser accidently got the perm chemical in her eye. This morning she is having trouble seeing and must go to our eye doctor for help.
4-26-2007 Please remember me in your prayers!
4-26-2007 The eye doctor thinks my wife's eye will be okay. My pain levels are extremely high today. Yesterday I had a low blood sugar, it was 63 and dropping when we caught it. I start sweating and felt like I was going to pass out, when we started the glucose. Life is so hard some days!
5-3-2007 My pain is really bad this morning. Please pray for me.
5-6-2007 My pain is very bad today, the pain kept me awake till 5am.
5-9-2007 This morning my pain is very bad. My right hip feels like it has a large knife down through it. Last night my left hip went out of joint again. I had to pop it back in, this morning it aches like a bad tooth!
6-12-2007 It has been 17 years today at 10:32, that I was pain free.
6-14-2007 My pain is extremely bad today. My coordination is way off. My legs feel weak and at times I feel like I am going to fall. Yet through all these past years, God has kept me going and helps me through each day!
7-5-2007 Please pray for me! My pain is much better. But my blood sugar is way to high!
Amen
7-12-2007 Today was an extremely painful day. My blood sugar readings lately have been low.
7-14-2007 The pain in my right hip is really bad today.
My lower back hurts too. I have a nasty headache and feel light headed.
7-18-2007 I am having a very bad day today. I feel extremely weak and my pain levels are very high. This is the type of day, that I feel like going to sleep in the morning and not waking up till the next day!
7-22-2007 I was able to sit through a whole church service today! The first time in about 13 years.
7-25-2007 I feel so mentally tired lately. All I have been thinking about is heaven and be able to see my family that has died and is waiting for me there. The heat this summer is getting to me, today it was especially bad.
7-30-2007 Some days I long to be with God. I long to be in heaven!
8-01-2007 I feel like death warmed over today!
8-03-2007 I am not doing well with the summer heat! I avoid being outside during the hottest part of the day.
I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I'll be glad when fall weather gets here!
8-04-2007 Today was the first day for a long time that my pain has been low all day. I have Nancy and friends to thank for helping me with this.
8-05-2007 I was able to go to church this morning, but I could not sit though the whole service. I was there for all but the last 15 min.
8-06-2997 Today was a very bad day. My pain levels are very high!
8-072007 This is not one of my better days. My feet have a sharp buning pain in them, and the pain in my right hip is really bad. Especially when I stand, walk, or sit down!
8-12-2007 Today was a very bad day. It hurt just to move around!
8-13-2007 This isn't going to be a very good day either.
8-17-2007 I am having a very bad day today. Not just pain, but I feel tired, my body aches, my legs are very weak.
Just another day in paradise.
8-20-2007 It is rainy and damp today. I feel awful! My legs are weak and tired, my incision sites ache like a bad tooth.
9-03-2007 My pain has been relatively high this past weekend, but I had a nice holiday. With my family and friend.
9-10-2007 The pain was extremely bad today!
9-11-2007 Another really bad day, pain wise!
9-17-2007 Today the pain was very bad, to live like this day in and day out is extremely hard!
9-18-2007 Mentally living like this is so hard! It looks like another bad day, pain wise.
9-20-2007 I wrecked my truck today. It landed in a
3' deep creek. It needed washed, but not that badly!
10-1-2007 The body shop called today, my truck is a total wreck, and can't be fixed.
10-2-2007 My pain was and is extremely bad today!
10-22-2007 My pain was really bad today. My legs felt weak.
10-24-2007 I had a very low blood sugar, I almost passed out.
11-602007 My pain was very bad today, my legs are very weak.
11-8-2007 My pain, especially in my hips and back are very bad today.
11-24-2007 A heavy object fell on the side of my leg, severely cutting and injuring my leg. There is severe tissue damage.
11-25-2007 I didn't get much sleep last night, my leg is throbbing with pain! This pain plus the pain I usually suffer has combined to make my life really miserable.
11-26-2007 My leg is still swollen. The pain is intense!
11-27-2007 The pain in my leg is much better. The pain is intense, but eases back some when I have it elevated.
11-28-2007 My leg still hurts a lot. The swelling is starting to come down. It hurts really bad to walk on,
but it is a lot better.
.
12-7-2007 The place on my right hip, where they took the bone marrow from. Tonight it fractured. I have a hair line fracture. The pain is terrible. The thought that bothers me most is that for my second back surgery the surgeon had to take bone marrow out of my left hip.
I have to sit around for a week or so till this gets better. This not over or near the hip joint, it is in
several inches.
12-8-2007 My right hip is extremely sore, every move I make brings pain! But I am mostly sitting around, standing or laying brings awful pain.
12-9-2007 My hip feels much worse today!
12-10-2007 My hip feels a bit better, it is not nearly
as sore.
12-14-2007 My hip is still really sore, but is much improved. My leg still bothers me some, but it is much improved also.
12-16-2007 My left was fixed today, it is sore.
12-21-2007 I fell off of a wall today and fractured my right knee and tore the cartlege out of my knee. I will be layed up for Christmas.
12-24-2007 Christmas was painfull, I am walking with a walker. I got to be with my family today.
12-29-2007 I got rid of my walker and I am limping around.
1-8-2008 I went for my first real walk today.
1-16-2008 My knee is still a little sore. This has been a rough couple of months. My balance and coordination aren't very good, so I have to keep on being extra careful what I do!
2-13-2007 My knee aches, both hips ache, my lower back is sore. My feet don't hurt nearly as bad as before. It is rainy, and damp today. This is the best I have felt for over four months now!
3-5-2008 My knee has healed, but I will always have trouble with my right leg. Yesterday I had a terrible head ache most of the day.
3-8-2008 Today I felt terrible. I feel tired and weak.
3-9-2008 Today I feel a bit better, although I am having trouble focusing my eyes.
3-11-2008 I had an extremely trying day today. My pain was extremely bad. I woke up in the Hospital. I woke around 2am choking. I couldn't breath, it felt like I was about to die!
3-26-2008 I was in the hospital this past week, what an extremely trying time! Today I was released from the hospital, I am so tired and weak. I hope this terrible day soon ends.
3-27-2008 My legs ache, I feel weak and tired all over!
3-28-2008 My body feels weak and my legs ache like tooth ache. I don't have my strength back yet.
4-5-2008 My body aches and I have a very high fever. I feel like I am going to pass out.
4-7-2008 My fever is back and my head hurts.
4-14-2008 This is first day in a long time that I can actually say I don't feel to bad at all. I don't feel normal, actually I don't remember what feeling normal is.
I have been Born Again Christian, since I was 12 years old.
So if things seem tough and you don't see a way out. Put all your trust in God! He will not fail you!
Why have I taken the time to tell you all this, you must know that whatever happens, that God will be there for you! Oh, you say everything is going well for me, or this guy must have really sinned to have this happen to him. These were the things I used to think about others who were suffering. I could not have survived this 16+ year ordeal without God's help!
Are you hurting, are you suffering, do you need help and don't know where to turn? God will help you, but you must be born again!
If you were to die tonight, where would your soul go?
If you were born again, you would go to heaven to be with Jesus! To be sure that you will be in heaven one day, you must be born again!
To become a born again Christian. All you have to do is ask Jesus to come into your heart and save you from your sins! Pray this prayer! "Jesus I know I am a sinner, I confess my sins! I ask you to forgive my sins! Please come into my heart and save me from my sins!
God loves you and sent his son to die on the cross to save us from our sins. God will never fail or leave you! There is nothing that you have done in your life that God will not forgive you!
My favorite Bible verse is!
Isaiah 41:10
FEAR NOT FOR I AM WITH YOU, BE NOT DISMAYED FOR I AM THY GOD!
I WILL STRENGTHEN YOU, I WILL HELP YOU.
I WILL UPHOLD YOU WITH THE RIGHT HAND OF MY RIGTHEOUSNESS!
