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THE JUNE  BIKERS' PIG ROAST AT THE ROADHOUSE

What can you say about a seventeen dollar pig roast with no crowds, short lines, all the beer you can drink, all the cold stringy pork, hot dogs, and hamburgers on white bread rolls you can eat, plus coleslaw, macaroni, and Caesar salad that gradually warms up to room temperature by dinner time? How about if they throw in some really great live bands that play so loudly that you can’t hear the guy shouting next to you, and a wet t-shirt (read no t-shirt) contest. And a soggy bonfire that doesn’t get going till after most of the partygoers had gone? I don’t know either but such was the annual June pig roast at The Pennsylvania Roadhouse in Belfast, Pa.    

Guru and I have been attending both the June and the October pig roasts there for many years and can say from experience that this one was one of the lamest ones. I’m not saying that people didn’t get their money’s worth. Think about what any saloon will sell you for seventeen bucks. I’m only saying this event has been better in the past and should be better in the future.

  In my personal opinion the band called “the norm”(sic) and especially their male lead singer Bill Gear saved the day. I rate them as better than most of the most famous groups that I’ve heard in concert. They perform old, new and punk rock, blues and jazz so damned good it’s almost unbelievable. They have a website at www.thenormband.com. The other band was very good too but didn’t match the norm(sic). The other band was “Live Wire” with a similar, rock and blues, music format but has no website.

  When I first rode in I was greeted with cheers and high fives from the women working the gate because I was riding my Harley and Rocky was riding behind me on the bitch seat. One of these days Rocky might get around to fixing his scoot, but riding bitch doesn’t seem to bother him much either; though he did ride home on Guru’s bitch seat.

  About two hundred or a bit more people showed up on that cloudy day. The weather forecasts probably scared away the weak-hearted, 50% chance of showers and thunderstorms. We only ran into a sprinkle on the way home after ten pm. It had rained off and on for the previous week making all the wood on the huge bonfire pile ultra-soggy. It took gallons of liquid accelerant to get portions of it to start burning. By ten o-clock there were a few sections of the pile on fire but they still hadn’t yet merged. We stopped back two days later though and found that part of the bonfire was still burning.

  The wet t-shirt contest started with eight contestants undulating to some steamy jazz music. After one elimination round, three young women seductively strutted their stuff in the finals. The prize went to a gal named Andrea who really worked hard at her dancing. The guys seemed to be very satisfied with the performances of all the contestants, rising up for a standing ovation of cheers hoots and whistles. The band's announcer gave plenty of advance notice of the contest so parents could have time to remove youngsters from the dance floor area. A couple of boys in their mid to late teens were present, mostly just staring with their jaws drooping, but no small kids were there.

  On  more "G" rated subject, the publican’s female pit bull “Penny” had a couple of puppies to show off at this event, one black and one brindle like her. The brindle one mostly wanted to play while the black one mostly wanted to suckle. I’m not sure which type of puppy I’d rather have; I took some cute pics of the dogs.

  The beer flowed all day, average stuff, Schmidts, Coors Light, etc. I heard lots of geezers bitching about being diabetic and not being able to find any N-A beer or even diet soda. As for the pig: it was actually roasted on the previous day, cut into sections and kept in the cooler. When brought out, there wasn’t adequate time allowed for the meat to get hot again. It was served almost cold. If I were in charge of this event I’d change only a few things. I’d start warming the pork up sooner, and have a few microwave ovens handy to pre-warm the second and third batches. I’d provide N-A beer for the diabetics (and there seems to be a whole lot more of them lately) as well as for those who don’t want to drive drunk. I only had three beers early in the afternoon then switched to birch beer. I’d have much preferred O’Doul’s or Old Milwaukee N-A to the “Kid’s Stuff”. I would make sure that the salad bar got a fresh load of ice when the original ice melted (about 4 pm). I would bring out the salads from the cooler inside in three separate trips spread across the day, instead of letting it all out there all day for flies, heat, kids and drunks to mess with. I would also bring in at least a dozen more picnic benches so more people could sit down. Even with the crude benches that are there, many people had to eat while standing up, and not by choice. In the past this situation was even more desperate when the crowds were bigger. But don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel short changed; I got my money’s worth. The changes I suggested would be a big enhancement for the future participants and would draw bigger and bigger crowds to future pig roasts, I’m sure. See you at the Oktoberfest Pig Roast; same place: The Pennsylvania Roadhouse, Belfast, Pa.  

Clanmother

I got some gnarly pics at the pig roast. If you want to see them click on to this link. Remember that pictures take time to download, especially with dial-up modems; so be patient.

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