Rael

This story is a sequal to my November 2000 Challenge response, Now and Then. While it's not necessary to have read that one to understand this story, it is linked below for anyone interested. I hadn't planned on a sequel, but as I had a few requests for one, here it is. Hope you enjoy!


What I know now is all I've known,
That has been good while I have grown,
Bless the thoughts that made me sail
And the God who made Rael.

"Rael" - The Who


“Don’t do anything yet,” Hercules commanded. “Just give me some time. I think I can find someone who can help.”

“The longer we wait, the worse it will get. He’s already in danger of infection...”

“Please,” the demigod begged. “I have to try. Just give me a few minutes. Don’t do it until I get back.”

“Very well,” the healer conceded. “He’s your friend.” Hercules knelt beside Iolaus and rested a hand on his damp brow.

“Hang on, buddy,” he whispered to the unconscious hunter. “I’ll be back with help soon.” The demigod rose and turned to the healer. “Take care of him.” As he bolted out of the room, the healer went back to his patient.

“I hope he knows what he’s doing,” the man said with a frown.

Hercules slipped out of the inn and took a deep breath of the cool night air. He walked until the noise of the revelers faded and only the chirp of the nocturnal insects kept him company. The demigod stopped to lean against a tree, staring at the bright moon through the branches of the forest and running a hand wearily through his chestnut locks.

“I didn’t think I’d be calling you this soon,” he said softly. “But I need your help.” His only answer was the rustle of the leaves, stirred by the gentle wind, but Hercules remained where he was. Rael was his only hope now, and he would wait until she answered. Sliding down the trunk of the tree, the demigod eased his tired frame into a comfortable sitting position. He tipped his head back to rest against the tree and closed his eyes, running over the events of his meeting with Rael in his mind. Had it only been yesterday? After all that had happened, it seemed like forever ago.


“Ares, get a life.”

“I’m not leaving here until you answer me!”

“And I already told you,” Aphrodite complained. “I have no idea what you are ranting about.”

“Some one was shielding Hercules and his little friend. If it wasn’t you, then I want to know who.”

“Unlike you, I have better things to do with my time than to spy on our little bro and Curly. Not that I wouldn’t have helped them if I had known. But obviously, they’re under somebody’s protection, so you’d better lay off.”

“Never,” Ares glowered. “When I find out who’s behind this, they’ll be just as dead as those two would-be heroes.”

“Give it up, Ares,” Aphrodite yawned, picking up a file and dabbing gently at her sculpted nails. “Take the hint. Zeus may be gone, but it looks like someone else is taking his place. You’re not going to be allowed to kill them.”

“Oh, there are ways around every law, dear sister. And the way around this one is the indirect approach.”

“Whatever,” the goddess of love muttered, rolling her eyes.

“You’ll see,” Ares warned. “I got my war, and I’ll get them, too. Then, I’ll rule as king of the gods.”

“Over Athena’s dead body,” Aphrodite said as Ares vanished.


“We should have been able to stop this, Iolaus.” Hercules looked out over the small village in the outskirts of Pylos.

“Herc, you can’t blame yourself for this.” The hunter could always read his friend’s mind. “Ares got here before we could. He set it up from the start. Do you really think that Pylos would have even thought about going up against the Spartans if Ares hadn’t manipulated the whole thing?”

“It doesn’t matter why it happened,” the demigod stated. “We could have stopped it, if I hadn’t let Ares beat me.”

“Well, at least we’re here now,” Iolaus sighed. He knew that his partner had taken his defeat by Ares very hard, and nothing he could say would help. Hercules would have to work through this one on his own. “Let’s go down and see what we can do to help.” The demigod agreed, and the two warriors went into the war-torn village to offer their assistance. Sparta had demolished Pylos, and the town was in chaos. Hercules and Iolaus soon found themselves with the task of clearing away the dead and trying to care for the wounded as best they could. There weren’t many living that were not wounded, but those that were unscathed immediately looked to the two strangers to restore order to the village. Iolaus began trying to find a structure that was intact enough to serve as a place to house the wounded, and Hercules had been trying to assign duties to some of the people that were still mobile when he noticed something strange out of the corner of his eye.

A lovely young woman was moving among the wounded that lay strewn about the village. Hercules watched as she approached a young man that had been run through with a spear. He was somehow still alive, but his time was running out. The girl knelt beside him and placed her hands over the injury. A warm, golden light gathered in her hands and streamed into the man. After a moment, he sat up and was embraced by his mother, who had moments ago been weeping by his side. The girl rose and moved on to the next injured person. Hercules watched openmouthed, sure that neither the man nor his mother had seen her. Which could mean only one thing. The girl was a goddess. Hastily, he excused himself from the villagers that were still around him and trotted over to the girl.

“Hello,” he said softly, coming up behind her. She had just finished healing another person, and she stood and turned to him.

“Hello, Hercules,” she said with a smile. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Rael.”

“How do you know who I am?” the demigod asked in surprise.

“Well, we’ve never actually met in person, but Zeus pointed you out to me before.” She smiled again at his puzzled expression. “I thought he might have mentioned me to you, but I guess not. Zeus is my father. I’m your half-sister.”


“It was you the other day, wasn’t it?” Hercules asked. He was finally starting to get over the shock of what Rael had told him hours earlier. She had gone through the village, healing all the injured people, while Hercules did what he could to help in other respects. Pylos was now in the throes of a mass celebration. They didn’t have much left to celebrate with, but in light of the number of newly healed villagers, it didn’t matter. The party atmosphere was all that was needed. Iolaus was down in the center of town, enjoying the festivities, but Hercules had politely declined their invitation as he was desperate to talk with the goddess claiming to be Zeus’ daughter. “The other day, when I was fighting Ares. It was you who shielded us.”

“Yes,” she replied. “It looked like you could use a little help.”

“Why didn’t you introduce yourself then?”

“I wanted to, but I wasn’t sure how you’d react. Plus, I didn’t want Ares to see me.”

“Maybe you’d better start at the beginning,” Hercules sighed. “Where did you come from?”

“From Eire,” Rael replied. “My mother is Branwen, the goddess of love and beauty. It isn’t hard to understand why Zeus fell for her.”

“But what did she see in him?” Hercules mumbled.

“He’s the king of the gods,” Rael said in surprise. “And he’s very charming, when he wants to be. You’re own mother fell for him, may I remind you.”

“That’s different,” Hercules insisted. “He disguised himself as her husband. He tricked her and forced her...”

“Anyway,” the goddess interrupted him. “They fell for each other, and I was the result.”

“He must have run out of women in Greece. Had to go on to other countries,” the demigod muttered.

“That’s why he never introduced us,” Rael said softly. “He told me that you held your divine family in contempt, and that you never approved of your father’s lifestyle. But he pointed you out to me. We watched you in secret, and he told me how proud he was of you, and how he couldn’t have asked for a better son.” Hercules ducked his head as tears began to sting his eyes.

“He had his faults,” the goddess continued. “But he did love you, Hercules. He was sorry that he couldn’t be what you needed him to be. He was sorry for all the times he failed you. And he asked me to promise him something. That if anything ever happened to him, I’d watch over you.”

“Then you do know he’s dead,” the demigod whispered, running a hand over his eyes.

“Yes,” she replied, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I came when I heard.”

“It sounds like you two were close,” Hercules said, a trace of bitterness in his voice.

“He was good to me,” Rael answered wistfully. “I’ve never been to Olympus. Hera never found out about me, and Zeus wanted to keep it that way. But he would bring me to Greece once in awhile, and he would come visit us in Eire whenever he could. I know he loved me, but you were always his favorite.” The demigod met her teasing smile with a grin of his own.

“I can’t say that I’m proud to be associated with too many in our family,” he said sincerely. “But I’m glad to have met you.”

“Why don’t you go down to the party,” she urged. “I’ll be around, and if you ever need me, all you have to do is call.” With a little wave, she disappeared, and Hercules rose and went down to find Iolaus and tell him of their new champion.

The next day, Hercules and Iolaus were preparing to take their leave of Pylos. Since the wounded had been healed, they were capable of the repairs to their village without the help of the two warriors. After a barrage of thanks for what help they had given, the partners began journeying out of town. They had not gotten far, however, when a distraught women stopped them.

“Please, you have to help me,” she sobbed, pulling onto Hercules’ arm. “My son is missing. I think he went into the swamp, and if he’s lost in there, he’ll never find the way out.”

“Okay, just take it easy,” Hercules soothed, prying his arm out of the woman’s iron grip. He looked at the marks that her sharp nails had left in his skin. “We’ll find your son. Go into the village and wait there, and we’ll bring him when we find him.” Iolaus shot the hysterical lady a reassuring smile before turning to follow his friend in the direction of the massive swamp that lay outside of the village. As they disappeared from sight, the woman’s sobs turned into a cackle of delight. Her image wavered until Discord stood in her place, an evil smile twisting her ruby lips.

“Happy hunting, boys,” she purred.


“This is just what I wanted to do today,” Iolaus complained, up to his knees in muck. “Swamps are definitely not high on my list of vacation hot spots.”

“Just think of how that lost kid feels,” Hercules reminded him. He slapped at a large mosquito that had been whining past his ear. “All the same, let’s not waste any time sightseeing.”

“A hero’s work is never done,” Iolaus sighed as they began to wade in deeper. The water was almost up to his waist. “Herc, I don’t think the kid came this way. The water would have been over his...” A loud splash cut off the hunter’s sentence, and Hercules turned to see nothing but a boil of water behind him.

“Iolaus!” He called out loudly. His friend broke through the surface of the water, gasping and flailing wildly. He opened his mouth to yell, but he was pulled back under before he could make a sound. Hercules dove under the water after the hunter. The murky water was swirling with stirred up sediment, and he couldn’t see a thing. Desperately, he moved through the water until he grabbed onto Iolaus. Hercules tried to pull him up, but the hunter was trapped. Moving blindly down, the demigod felt something hard holding onto his partner’s leg. With as much force as he could manage against the pressure of the water, he smashed his fist down. Fortunately, Iolaus was released and Hercules was able to pull him up. The hunter gasped for air as they surfaced, and the demigod pushed him in the direction of higher ground as he turned to face the thing that was rising up from the water behind them.

“That can’t be good,” he whispered to himself as he caught sight of the creature. It was crocodilian in shape, but stood upright like a man, towering above the demigod. As it opened it’s mouth to hiss at him, Hercules saw the rows of jagged, razor sharp teeth.

“Herc!” Iolaus had only managed to get a few feet away, but as the demigod turned at his call, the hunter tossed his sword to him. Hercules shook the blade from it’s sheath and turned back to the monster that was advancing on him. It slashed out with lethal claws, and Hercules jumped back, almost losing his footing in the slippery muck of the swamp. He counter with the sword, raking it across the creature’s side, but the armor-like scales of the monster protected it from the blade. The demigod soon found himself sprawling in the water as the creature’s powerful tail swept his feet out from under him. He struggled to get up, only finding that the monster had disappeared.

“Where are you?” he said nervously, eyes scanning the black water around him for any sign of movement. There was nothing to warn him as the creature shot out of the water and clamped it’s jaws around his arm. With one quick jerk, Hercules was yanked under the water. The monster moved above him, pinning him down in the mud. Desperately, the demigod kicked at the creature and tried to claw at it’s eye with his free hand. Just as his lungs were about to burst, the monster released him and he burst through the surface. After a quick gulp of air, Hercules turned and confronted the beast again. It was coming for him once more, this time swimming on it’s stomach with just its eyes and back exposed. The demigod leapt for it, narrowing missing the snapping jaws clamping on his leg. Somehow, he managed to get hold of the creature around it’s snout. He pulled up, forcing the monster’s head of the water and tilting it back. Hercules had managed to hold onto the sword, even as the creature had been hanging off his arm, and he now thrust the blade into the vulnerable area under the beast’s chin. The massive tail once more swept out and knocked him over, but it didn’t matter. After a few wild thrashes, the creature died.

Hercules winced as he removed the gauntlet from his arm. The metal forged by Hephaestus had saved him from any real damage, but the force of the creature’s bite would insure that he’d have one heck of a bruise there. Suddenly, he remembered Iolaus, and turned to look for his friend. Worry gripped him as he saw that the hunter hadn’t made it back to high ground, and was clinging to a stump to keep his head above the waist deep water. Hercules waded over to him, and his worry increased as he saw how white his friend was.

“I think my leg’s broken,” Iolaus said tightly.

“Ok,” Hercules told him. “Just keep hanging on there. I’m going to try and lift it up and have a look.” Iolaus nodded and shut his eyes against the pain as the demigod lifted his injured limb.

“It’s broken,” Hercules confirmed, trying his best to make his voice sound normal. “Let me find something to splint it with, and then we’ll get you out of here.” The demigod made his way over to the carcass of the creature and lifted it’s head. Pulling out Iolaus’ sword that was still lodged in it’s throat, Hercules swore at the beast and shoved it away savagely. He went back to the hunter, and again lifted his leg out of the water as Iolaus clung to the stump.

Hercules felt sick as he aligned the sword with his friend’s limb. He hadn’t lied, the leg was broken. But what he hadn’t told Iolaus was that his leg had been nearly bitten off. A strip of skin and a few tendons were all that was keeping the lower half of his left leg attached to his body. The demigod held it together as best he could, using his shirt to bind the sword to the limb. Blood immediately began soaking through the cloth, and Hercules knew he had no time to lose. Gently, he gathered Iolaus in his arms and began sloshing his way out of the swamp. The hunter protested weakly at being carried, but Hercules ignored him. He was already suffering from the blood loss and from shock, and now was not the time to argue with his stubborn partner. Once he made it back to high ground, Hercules set off for Pylos, going as fast as he could without jostling Iolaus too much.

“I need a room,” Hercules shouted as he entered the inn. The innkeeper took a look at the injured man in the demigod’s arms and wisely led them to the room that had the least amount of war damage.

“Hercules, there’s a healer in town now. He heard about the war and came to see if he could help. Got here right after you left. Do you want me to get him?”

“What do you think?” the demigod snapped, laying Iolaus down on the bed after he had kicked a piece of timber out of the way. Blood was still seeping from his wound, despite the tourniquet that Hercules had tied in the swamp.

“Herc?”

“I’m right here, buddy,” the demigod told him, covering him with a blanket.

“Where’s my sword?”

“It’s here. I used it to splint your leg.”

“The sheath, too?” Hercules pretended he didn’t hear, but Iolaus persisted. “Herc, where’s the sheath?”

“Back at the swamp,” the demigod finally admitted.

“At the swamp? How could you forget the sheath? What good is a sword without a sheath to put it in?”

“Damn it, Iolaus! I’ll go back and get it. Just lay still now, and don’t worry about your sword.” Hercules was getting frantic. A pool of blood was forming on the bed under his friend’s injured leg, and Iolaus’ pupils were so big the demigod could hardly see any blue in his eyes at all. “Where is that healer?” he muttered under his breath, tucking the blanket tighter around the hunter.

“I’m tired,” Iolaus stated faintly.

“Then rest,” Hercules told him. “The healer will be here any minute to fix your leg.” The hunter reached a clammy hand out from underneath the blanket and the demigod took it in his warm hands.

“Don’t forget to get my sheath,” he whispered, giving his partner a small grin as he closed his eyes. Hercules was almost beside himself minutes later when the innkeeper ushered in the healer.

“What took so long?” he demanded, striding toward the two men. When he realized that they were both cowering back from him, Hercules got himself under control and stepped aside to let the healer look at his friend. It was a short examination.

“It has to be amputated and cauterized,” he said simply.

“No,” Hercules argued. “He’s a warrior. It would kill him to lose a leg. There has to be a way to fix it.”

“Asclepius himself couldn’t fix this,” the man said exasperatedly. “His leg is all but severed. We have to remove it and cauterize the wound. And even then there’s no guarantee against infection. And we have to do it now. He’s already lost too much blood.”

“Don’t do anything yet,” Hercules commanded. “Just give me some time. I think I can find someone who can help.”


And so, the demigod found himself alone in the forest, calling to his newly discovered family.

“Rael, where are you?” he begged. “Please, if I ever needed your help, this is it.” Finally, his patience was rewarded as the goddess appeared before him. “I didn’t think you were going to come,” he said, relieved.

“I’m sorry, Hercules, but I can’t help you.”

“What do you mean?” He looked at her in astonishment.

“It is true, isn’t it? You are the one that killed Zeus. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I...I thought you knew,” the demigod stammered.

“How could you? Your own father...” The goddess turned away in tears.

“Please, Rael, there isn’t time,” Hercules said, turning her back to face him. “Believe me, if there were any way possible to avoid it, I never would have done it. I’d give anything to be able to go back and do it again. But he was about to kill a friend of mine. Her and her unborn child. Just because of a prophecy. I couldn’t let him do it. I tried to stop him, but in the end, killing him was the only way. You have to know it was a last resort. Please, believe me.”

“I don’t know,” she said slowly. “I don’t know what to think.”

“Hate me if you want to,” he told her. “But don’t take it out on Iolaus. He’s hurt badly, Rael, and he needs your help. You’ve watched him and you know he’s a good man. You can’t let him die. You aren’t like the other gods. You have a good heart, filled with compassion for all life. Don’t give into the pettiness that rules our family. You’re better than that.”

“But Ares forbid it,” the goddess confessed. “He told me about Zeus, how it was you that killed him. And he told me that if I ever associated with you or Iolaus again, he would destroy me. I’m taking a risk even talking to you now.”

“Rael,” Hercules pleaded, unable to stop the tears. “Iolaus is the most important thing in the world to me. I can’t lose him. I’ll do whatever you ask of me. I’ll take whatever punishment you want to give me. But please, I’m begging you. Help him. Use your gift and heal him.”

“All right,” she said finally, linking her arm with the demigod‘s. “Take me to him.” Wanting to shout with relief, Hercules escorted the goddess back to the inn. They were met in front of the building by the healer.

“I was just coming to find you,” he told the demigod. “I’m afraid your friend is gone.”

“Gone?” The word choked Hercules and he felt like someone had just punched him in the stomach. He struggled to take air in as waves of pain rushed over him. Reaching out, he took Rael’s hand to steady himself. She moved in to wrap her arms around him, holding him tightly to her. “He can’t be gone,” Hercules gasped.

“I was only away for a minute to get some water,” the healer explained. “And when I came back, he was just gone. I figure he must have gone out the window, but I don’t know how he did it in as bad of shape as he was.”

“You mean, he’s literally gone? As in not dead, just left the room?” Hercules stared at the healer intently.

“Oh, you thought I meant... Oh no, he’s not dead. He’s just... gone.” Rage boiled up through the demigod and without even thinking, his fist shot out and cracked against the healer’s jaw. The man flew backwards and lay unconscious.

“Now what did that prove?” Rael asked, looking at the demigod reproachfully.

“You can heal him later,” Hercules said sarcastically. “Come on, we have to find Iolaus.” They went back to the room at the inn where the demigod had left his partner to see that he was, indeed, gone. Hercules led Rael out of the inn and they began searching the area that surrounded the window to the room.

“If he went back to the swamp to get his sheath I’m going to kill him,” the demigod muttered.

“Over there.” Rael pointed to a dark shape that was huddled on the ground at the edge of the tree line. Hercules ran and confirmed that it was Iolaus lying there unconscious. The goddess placed her hands over his injured leg and sent the soft glow of healing into the wound. As Hercules watched with baited breath, the damage sealed itself up and Iolaus awoke.

“This must be Rael,” the hunter said with a wicked grin as he sat up to see the beautiful goddess kneeling beside him. Any flirting he had in mind was halted as Hercules punched him in the arm.

“What in Hades did you think you were doing out here?” the demigod demanded. Iolaus frowned and pulled a knife from his belt, using it to slice through the wrappings on his leg.

“I wasn’t about to let that butcher take my leg,” he said quietly.

“I thought you were asleep when we talked about that,” Hercules told him.

“I was,” the hunter admitted. “But after you were gone he came after me with a saw. I didn’t know where you were. There was just this crazy guy about to cut my leg off. I couldn’t think straight, but I just knew I had to get away.”

“I left to go find Rael,” Hercules explained. “I’m sorry, Iolaus. I never would have left you with him if I knew he was going to try that.” The hunter shrugged as he cut through the last binding.

“I guess he was just trying to do what he thought was best.”

“I guess so. But suddenly I don’t feel so bad for decking him.” Iolaus shot him a questioning look, but before he could say anything, a flash of light illuminated the darkness as Ares appeared.

“I warned you, Rael,” he growled, sending a bolt of light flashing toward her. Before she could move to defend herself, the light engulfed her and both she and the god of war vanished. Hercules and Iolaus looked at each other in disbelief.

“Herc, she saved my life. We have to go after her,” the hunter exclaimed.

“I know,” Hercules replied. “How’s your leg?”

“It’s fine,” Iolaus said impatiently, hopping up and down on it slightly to prove his point. “Where do you think he took her?”

“Probably his temple,” the demigod answered. “But which one is the real question. I guess we should just start with the closest and go on from there.”

“Well, let’s go.” Iolaus automatically tried to slip his sword into the sheath that was no longer hanging from his waist, making a face at his partner’s back as he instead slung it over his shoulder. There was enough moonlight for them to travel by, so they made it to the temple in Delos in just a few hours.

“How do you want to handle this?” the hunter whispered as they hovered in the bushes outside the building’s entrance.

“I think Ares has already determined that,” Hercules said grimly as mercenaries began pouring out of the temple door. The two warriors rushed forward to meet the oncoming horde, and the peaceful night was soon filled with the sounds of battle. Iolaus was in top form after his most recent brush with death, and was greatly appreciating the full use of his leg as he kicked his way through the soldiers. Hercules was also fighting well, taking out men left and right as they fought their way towards the temple. At last, all the mercenaries were down. Hercules and Iolaus entered the temple cautiously, finding it deserted except for Rael, who was gagged and bound with heavy chains.

“It’s a trap,” she warned them as Iolaus removed the cloth from her mouth.

“We know,” Hercules replied absently, studying the chains binding her. “Forged by Hephaestus I’ll bet,” he remarked to the hunter. “See what you can do, and I’ll deal with Ares.” He turned to the doorway where Ares had appeared as Iolaus went to work picking the lock on Rael’s chains.

“Back for more, little brother?” Ares sneered. “You must enjoy getting stomped by the king of the gods.”

“How would I know?” Hercules countered. “Athena and I have never fought.” He knew his words would infuriate Ares, and as he predicted, the god of war attacked.

“I can help him,” Rael said as the hunter popped the lock open and helped her slide out of the heavy chains binding her.

“No, not yet,” Iolaus told her. “Hercules needs to do this by himself.” The goddess nodded, and they watched silently as the demigod and Ares battled it out. Hercules was taking a few punches, but he was also landing a few as well. The fight raged, long and vicious. Iolaus was beginning to worry, as his partner was starting to show signs of fatigue, where as Ares was still going strong. He turned to Rael to tell her to help, when out of the corner of his eye he saw the god of war sail through the air and crash into his altar.

“I knew you could do it, Herc!” he cried, as the demigod came to stand before them. Hercules was tired and bruised, but he grinned broadly.

“I wasn’t so sure, myself,” he confessed, resting an arm on his partner’s shoulder.

Ares struggled to get up out of the broken wood that was the result of his landing. Swaying to his feet, he readied a fireball and took aim. As he launched it at the three, Iolaus jumped in front and swung his sword. The fireball bounced off the sword and rocketed back towards Ares, hitting him in the chest and sending him flying backwards to crash into the wall.

“I think it’s time to leave,” Hercules said hastily, taking Rael by the arm and pulling her toward the door. The three made their escape and dashed into the woods.

Ares finally pulled himself up and shook his head to clear it. He was a little unsteady, but rage drove him on. The god of war started to go after the three that had reduced his temple to rubble, but he was halted by Aphrodite’s appearance in the doorway.

“Let them go, Ares,” she commanded, blocking his path. “Athena called a meeting of all the gods. She wants you in Olympus now.”

“Athena can kiss my...”

“It’s about Xena,” the goddess continued. “And her child. Athena wants them both dead. She wants Celesta to take them.”

“Hercules can wait,” Ares said finally after some hesitation. “You win. Let’s go to Olympus.”


“I wish you didn’t have to go,” Hercules said sincerely.

“Eire is my home. It’s where I belong, and I’ll be safe there,” Rael said gently. “Besides, you two don’t need me anymore. You can handle Ares on your own. And anything else they throw at you.”

“I’ll still miss you,” the demigod told his half-sister.

“I’ll be back,” she promised him. “Take care of yourself, Iolaus.” The goddess leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, making the hunter blush slightly. “And be safe, my brother.” Rael hugged the demigod, and then with a wave, she was gone.

“I can’t believe she’s actually from your family. No offense,” Iolaus said as they began journeying down the road.

“None taken,” Hercules said thoughtfully. “I hope she does come back.”

“She will. No woman can resist me for long.”

“I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer,” the demigod said in disgust.

“Seriously, though, I do have something important to ask you.”

“What?”

“About my sword sheath...”

“Iolaus, if it will shut you up, I will buy you a new one, ok?”

“Um, Herc? Just one more thing.”

“WHAT?”

The hunter glanced down at his shredded left leg.

“Think you could throw in some new pants, too?”

Disclaimer: Iolaus was severely injured during the writing of this story, but come on. We all knew everything would work out fine.

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