By Lou

I honestly thought I was on to something.
As you should know by now, unless you've been living in a cave or something, the Annual Labor Day Regatta is coming up. It happens every year on Labor Day Weekend. It's a big event, and it takes a lot to make things run smoothly.
This year, volunteers are very badly needed. Someone mentioned to me recently that we'll have to be very lucky to get all the volunteers we need.
I started thinking. (Usually a sign of trouble.) They say rabbits' feet are lucky---But obviously not for the rabbit. Therefore, we can reasonably assume that a rabbit's foot is even luckier when it's still attached to the rabbit. In fact, since your average rabbit has four of them, it can be surmised that a live, whole rabbit is at least four times as lucky as a single foot.
They say knocking on wood is lucky, too. So I put this all together in the hopes of finding volunteers. But when the animal rights people caught me knocking live rabbits off my wooden desk, they went berserk. I think I had activists burning me in effigy this morning. My guess is we'll need more volunteers than a few concussed rabbits will bring us, anyway.
Back to the drawing board.
You supply our luck. Yeah, you, holiding the copy of the JJJ and snickering. Call 555-2877 and volunteer to help out at the Regatta. Please, join in. Just an hour will do. We need all the help we can get.
I'll be there, helping out, too. I think I'll need periodic breaks, however. I have this idea about throwing salted four-leaf clovers over my shoulder.
Unless the EPA finds out. But we'll deal with that when it happens.

-No rabbits were harmed during the writing of this newsletter.
(Somebody backed over a possum, but that's it.)

Back to May 2001 issue.