What is a friend? What makes a friend? What makes someone more than a friend? If a friend doesn’t reciprocate at the same level you dish out, does that mean he or she is not a good friend? There are a lot of questions that encompass being a friend, but how many of us really read the fine print?

Now I don’t mean to get off on a rant here, but one thing that means a lot to me in life is friendship. Yes, I know family comes first, but without friends, what kind of a life do we really live? I believe that a friend is someone you are comfortable around. Friends are people you can have fun with, share your innermost thoughts, brainstorm ideas with, and go to in problem situations. Friends are people you can have fun with and do crazy things with that anyone else may want to have you institutionalized for (such as singing along to the Kids of Widney High with the windows down while driving through the city). Friends are people you do things for and who do things for you, whether it’s as simple as a phone call to say “hello” or sending a birthday greeting.

When does a friend become more than a friend? As far as relationships, that’s not my gig to rant on, but what about the infamous “O” word? (No Andy Hogga, I’m not talking about an o-ring). The word I’m tossing around is “obsessive.” When does someone become obsessive and when does it become obvious? Many of you have heard the stories of the guy at Giant who became obsessed with me years ago and began stalking me. We were close friends. We did just about all of the aforementioned things listed above, but he took it to another level.

I was blind to the fact at the time, but I never realized how this person would always spend money on me, make himself available for me, and basically do anything I’d ask him to do. We were rather inseparable. Our kliq from Giant would go to his house almost every night to play pool, watch movies and jump on the trampoline…cleaning his fridge out in the meanwhile. It wasn’t until about a year later that he got rather strange. When I didn’t hang out with him, and would hang out with girls, he’d start rumors in the store that something was going on with us, which would result in the severing of the hanging out. He would later resort to following me when I went out without him and it’s believed, but never been proven, that he was even climbing on my roof and looking in my bedroom window (for the long version of the story, ask later). Ya see, this guy later admitted that he considered me his best friend and that he would become very jealous when I’d hang out with others, because had allegedly been burned before, thus he felt justified in doing what he did. I miss his friendship and hanging out with him, but you must draw the line at some point.

Friends don’t need to buy friends gifts all the time. When I go on vacation, I enjoy getting souvenirs for people and sending out postcards. That’s just something I do. If someone goes away and doesn’t get me anything, does this “make me mad” or think any less of them? Of course not. If I invite people to go out or bring someone somewhere, do I expect them to start brainstorming of ways they can make it up to me? No. Do I get upset when friends don’t return calls and emails? (ahem). Yes. Do I get upset when close friends begin dating someone, totally blowing you me off in the process, seemingly forgetting about everything that we’ve done before? Yes. (I’m not asking for all the attention, but just the respect of some attention.) Does this mean I don’t want to be friends anymore? Hell no.

As a friend, I’m willing to go out of my way for others when they need me for something. I’m willing to give up sleep, money, time, piece of mind, tears or whatever it takes to help someone out in a jam. I’ve done it many times and will continue to do it when I deem it to be necessary. It’s ended up burning many times in the past and a guarantee that it’ll happen many more times in the future. I guess you can say that when it comes to getting burned with friendships, I’m as flame retardant as Michael Jackson in a Pepsi commercial.

Someone once told me that when people don’t reciprocate in the fashion that you put yourself out, then you should question the value of their friendship. I don’t believe in doing this, because some people aren’t as creative or even conscious of what is going on as others. Friendship isn’t about money, but it is nice to see that the other person cares.

I’ve had many friends over the years and I will continue to make new friends for the rest of my life. Luckily, I’m someone very easy to get along with, and a lot of fun to be around (although I know I tend to get annoying at times….no comments from Millersville people please). The one thing that I try to do, is to put a smile on someone’s face. My best friend Matt Reilly recently “stole” the forthcoming line from me…even though this hadn’t gone to print yet. He said, “I was put here on this earth to make people smile.” I honestly feel that making people smile is my most cherished gift. Whether it is by telling a joke, lending a hand, sharing one of my crazy stories, risking self-humiliation or giving something small as a gift, I normally do whatever I can to get a smile out of someone. I’d even bet money that I can make one of the Royal Guards outside Buckingham Palace crack a grin. Some people can run the mile in under 5 minutes (10 minutes faster than me), some hit homeruns, some can cook as if they were on Iron Chef, and some can even sell a lighter to the devil himself. My gift is making people happy.

So in the forthcoming years until my demise, I will continue to put myself out. I’ll still help friends out when needed and do what I can to keep the relationship going. The only thing I ask for in return however is a smile and/or a thank you. Actually, the words aren’t as important. The smile is the most valuable thing. Then again, that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.