Misconception
Life is a fairytale
Done up with pretend characters
And deceitful lalubies
I wish I could feel the inner me
The lining in which I am true
My stomach is nauseas and my heart is grey
My life is filtered with sin
How to begin, again?
And why?
I've filled the void with inseniate disorders
Ones that eat away at my body
Leave me dry, broken
They laugh at me call me ugly, a stick
A body with no soul
I want it back, I want it back
Their bitterness does not leave me
They are here again, I hate myself
I thought I left them behind
They did not come in the dark or rain
They came with disconcertment
They said "Here I am"
And me, pety me I said "Welcome"
Can you see them? Can you stop them?
You can see them child, but you can not stop their purpose
They are you, They are man
Society's ideals and new lifestyles
It is the American way that makes every adolescent insecure
You let them. You let them take your spirit, smile, and youth
Your mommy tells you your beautiful
Your daddy too
Yet all you can do is close your door
cling to the ciggrette smoke floating out your window
Blackening your lungs, Silencing the air, creating music in your head
You see him hanging there his arms spread out
The cross
You can feel every sin he endured for your salvation yet all you can do is weep
Until weeping becomes more life blinking in this world
I can not carry it anymore
The memories, the faces, those nights, those dreams
Everything fades like a shadow of my past
I open my eyes
Another day, paralized by the truth
12-28-2000
