Welcome to The Beermonkey Homepage. Since you clicked this link, I am going to have to suppose that you are interested/curious about the story of Phonics the beermokey. Well here it is.
I am in my third year of college, and my friends and I have always joked about getting a chimpanzee for our apartment. This year, it became a reality. Someone had him, and he was moving and couldn't keep Phonics anymore. Being the animal lover that I am, I jumped at the opportunity to have a new pet. We figured we could train him to do small tasks around the place. Boy were we ever wrong.
We discovered that Phonics has a nasty temper when he doesn't get his own way. He was always on edge and tried to attack people that stopped by the apartment. One of my roomates suggested that we give him some beer to mellow him out. Instead of mellowing out, Phonics became a raging drunk, throwing everything within his reach. Let's just say he spent the rest of that night locked in an empty closet.
Gradually Phonics started to mellow out, and has since become almost a family member of ours. Although whenever he does something bad, Phonics always is "Adam's monkey," never anyone else's. Figures. So, I get blamed for all the damage he does but the laughs that I get from him outweighs the times that I have to cover for him.
Now let me get a few things straight. Don't write me and say how terrible and cruel I am for giving Phonics beer. I don't give it to him anymore...he helps himself by opening the fridge. Also, I don't want to hear about how I should keep alcohol out of his reach. He's a monkey and in case you didn't know, monkeys can climb. Besides, He throws the worst tantrums when he doesn't get his way and frankly, you don't have to live with him.
