Welcome to the page of meaningless statements and information.
I've never had a better beer then Molson Dry.
This must be just like livin in paradise - David Lee Roth
Never sell out your friends, no matter how much money is involved
I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.
My wife came with instructions. Plenty of instructions. She instructed me on how to do everything all over again. And she was quick to point out all my faults. I only came with two instructions......to show her how to use a beer opener...and how to pick up the empties
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o'clock in the morning?" "There is," he replied. "Breakfast."
I wonder if Las Vegas doctors bet on how long their patients will live
Once while walking through the mall a guy came up to me and said, "Hey, how's it going?" So I grabbed his arm and twisted it up behind his head and said "Now who's asking the questions?"
If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny
The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells." ---How do you like that one G? :-)
When Quinn the eskimo gets here, everybody's gonna jump for joy.
Word to the wise: If anything can go wrong, it will; Especially when it involves me or my computer.
If I live to be 100 years old, I still don't think that I'll understand why bad things happen to good people. OR why people hardly ever get what they deserve.
I don't care what you say or think....Natalie Portman is hot.
Captain Jack will get you high tonight, and take you to your special island
Hobo is so cool. I can't believe that Tim's parents wanted to get rid of him..
If I go before you, I will wait for you on the other side of these dark waters. Be with me now.
Don't get mad. Get even.
I'm sorry Token
Yes No Maybe....I don't know...Can you repeat the question? You're not the boss of me now,You're not the boss of me now,You're not the boss of me now, And you're not so big..You're not the boss of me now,You're not the boss of me now,You're not the boss of me now, And you're not so big...Life is unfair
We got no food, we got no jobs, our pets heads are falling off!
Click Click....Whack
"I'd like to set the record straight. I
thought the cop was a prostitute."
Life and Death are only temporary.....Freedom is forever.
I reserve the right to piss you off.
I can't believe that Ski & Outdoor was unable to save the beer pong table. This is terrible news. As I type this, I promise you a tear is forming on my cheek.
Donkey-raping shit eater
Hi my name is stereo mike
Cation: The killer who is about to call you is already in your house.
I'll turn this car right around, I swear it.
Thanks for the joy that you've given me.
Who is this?
Smashy Smashy
A lady came up to me on the street and pointed to my leather jacket. "You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
If you can not answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Don't ask me questions before eight in the morning, particularly silly ones. I'm grumpy then, and I'll probably make fun of you.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
Spider, Spider, Spiderman, does everything that a spider can 
Here is the number one reason that Ski and Outdoor shouldn't be allowed to have campfires on their trips.
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill
and a laxative on the same night.
The word good has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good shot, but not necessarily a good man
The quickest way to a man's heart is not through the stomach but through his chest, with an axe.
Blow your mind -- smoke gunpowder
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Reality is an illusion caused by lack of alcohol
My parents put us to sleep by tossing us up in the air. Of course, you have to have low ceilings for this method to work.
The more things change, the more they suck
A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit.
"If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?" "Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off.
If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down. No problem
This is all I've got so far. If you have a statement or idea, email me and I'll put it up on here.
Email: amoraniec@hotmail.com
