Welcome to the Beer Monkey Page.
Phonics is a chimp of mine that has become a raging alcoholic since I've gotten him. My friends and I have dubbed Phonics the Beer Monkey.
Now let me get a few things straight. Don't write me and say how terrible and cruel I am for giving Phonics beer. I don't give it to him...he helps himself by opening the fridge. Also, I don't want to hear about how I should keep alcohol out of his reach. He's a monkey and in case you didn't know, monkeys can climb. Besides, He throws the worst tantrums when he doesn't get his way and frankly, you don't have to live with him.
This page last updated: 10/25/2000
We are currently undergoing an enormous face lift. During this time, I won't be updating any of the content, but fee free to view it anyway. Hopefully everything will be up and running by this weekend. Thanks for your patience during this process.
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It's official. According to last weeks poll, you would consider owning a monkey.
I've gotten some questions and comments for Phonics lately. So, I'm going to put up a new section dedicated to your questions and comments. If you've got something to say, do so here. Also, someone suggested that I have a section dedicated to all of your drunken stories. So what the fuck, send em to me and I'll put them up. You got pictures of it? Send them too. I'll go all out, I don't care. I'll plug your page too. Whatever. I don't care! Just click here already.
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