Link the Beermonkey
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Welcome to the Lounge. Here you can find the answers to questions about Phonics, life, beer, or whatever. There are also responses to comments that visitors like yourself have made.
The Questions
Q.How did your monkey become an alcoholic?
A.I admit that I am somewhat responsible for Phonics' alcohol problem. One night after I had just gotten him, we were drinking and decided to give Phonics some beer. He liked it, and things just evolved from there.
Q.What are his hangovers like?
A.You know, it's the damndest thing. I've never seen him have any symptoms that can be attributed to a hangover. He just seems to sleep longer when he gets drunk. Perhaps scientists should investigate and find out why monkeys don't have hangovers so that humans can get rid of them forever?
The Comments
- FUCKING RIGHT MAN!!!!!!!!! YOUR DOING THAT MONKEY A FAVOR BY GETTING IT ALL FUCKED UP, I WISH PEOPLE MADE ME DRINK BEER........ KEEP IT GOING MAN AND REMEMBER BEER MIGHT NOT BE GOOD FOR YOUR LIVER..... BUT IT HELPS YOUR MIND
Thanks. I do believe that he is the happiest monkey on this Earth thanks to alcohol. I don't make him drink though. He drinks on his own.
- No, I would not consider owning a monkey. I already have children.
I would think that having a monkey is more rewarding then children. Less of a hassle too. At least at my age anyway.
- DAMNIT THATS MY DRUNK MONKEY, IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR HIM FOR MONTHS. GIVE HIM BACK YOU SONOFABITCH! BY THE WAY HIS NAME IS THEO.
You are mistaken my friend. He is my monkey and his name is Phonics. Theo? I believe that you've confused yourself with re-runs of The Cosby Show.
- Maybe you should spank your monkey!!!!!!!
I'd like to punch his fucking teeth in at times. I don't give spankings. If he's bad, I let him have it. I don't believe in raising pussy monkeys.
- If u have the beer, u are prepared to own a monkey. Just remember to change it's dipers
Not sure what exactly you mean there partner, but I'll address the diaper issue. It's plain and simple actually. Phonics won't wear them. He uses the toliet, so I'm not going to force him to wear them. Besides, I wouldn't want him getting pissed at me and resort to throwing his shit as so many monkeys do.
- I've got a snake , man. one time i fed it some beer. It wiggled this way and that. It was all fucked up.
That's great. It was funny when Adam Sandler said it about five years ago. Now, it's just another statement that makes you say to yourself "Oh yeah, I remember that tape." But thanks for the comment anyway.
- you guys are pussies give the motherfucker whiskey
Phonics is the BEER monkey. Not the whiskey monkey. Besides, good whiskey is fucking expensive, and I enjoy beer more then hard alcohol.
- freaks, the lot of ya
If by freaks you mean enjoys sex with multiple women at once, getting smashed on a regular basis, and playing with various firearms and explosives, then yes we are!
- I got nuttin' but love for the Beer Monkey Homepage
Well how nice of you. Wait, are you one of those stalker types? *Note to self*: Load the gun.
Comments and questions may be submitted
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