“Hey bugaboo,” he smiles picking her up and holding her, “How’s daddy’s girl?” he asks fixing her small pink dress.
His daughter May was six months old now and had grown up so far in the stability of one permanent house except when they went to visit her grandparents. After Nick disappeared they canceled the whole tour and each boy went their own way. They still talked, but were hardly all together at the same time. Tonight though they were all going to come back together for once and give Nick what they hoped he would like, for them to still all be as close as they were before he vanished.
Kristin walks by carrying a large vase full of flowers and puts it on the table in the sitting room. She had been going crazy cleaning the whole house inside and out for the past two days, so that when everyone came everything would be perfect. She had also spent the whole morning in the kitchen. She had told Kevin she was going to make a meal big enough for everyone and if she was going to do that she would need all her time in the kitchen. That only meant that Kevin was going to have to watch May the whole day. It didn’t bother him though.
Kevin walks downstairs holding May and stops in front of his gold record for Millennium. His whole basement was decorated with his Backstreet Boy albums and awards for various places. It was the Backstreet shrine in a way and of course it had a pool table, big screen TV, stereo system, bar, video games, Nick would have loved his video games, and an air hockey table and various couches and chairs. He sits down on the couch and turns on the TV to MTV again. It was basically a Backstreet Boy’s day on MTV showing their videos, TV specials, video diaries and basically every thing they could find of them on tape.
“Look at that May,” Kevin says to the baby in his arms as “Quit Playing Games with My heart” comes on, “That is a very bad haircut and daddy will never ever do that again especially since AJ felt the need to tell off Oasis. God. That was so long ago,” he sighs as May stares up at him with big blue eyes,” You’ll get to shoe off to all the guys again tonight. You’ll only have Faith to outdo, but you can do that can’t you,” he smiles and pokes her small stomach,” God, he was only twenty two,” Kevin mutters as Nick’s face flashes across the screen.
Truth be told Kevin felt responsible for Nick’s disappearance. Kevin thought they he had to protect Nick, but as Nick got older Kevin shied away more and more from protecting him. How was he supposed to know that as time went by Nick would need Kevin more then ever? He always though that if he was such a good older brother to Nick then why did he leave. What the hell had ever made Nick leave so suddenly? Nick wasn’t dead he knew that much. Nick would never be that stupid, even though Nick did have his moments especially when he was trying to documentary not doumentory. All in all though Kevin loved Nick like a younger brother. Nick was part of him, Nick was part of all of them, and when he left a piece of each of them left too.
AJ stares at the road as he drives down the highway in his Ford Expedition. He liked the feeling of being in a car as big as his Expedition. He could flatten any of the other cars on the road, well besides the Excursion. The fact that he had to sign insurance for the people that he would probably kill if he ever got in an accident only supplied him with a feeling of more safety in a morbid sense. He hits the play button on his CD player and relaxes as the Foo Fighters start to sing “Learn to Fly.”
“Run and tell all off the angels. This could take all night. Think I need a devil to help me get things right. Hook me up with new evolution cause this one is a lie. We sat round laughing and watched the last one die. I’m looking to the sky to save me. Looking for a sign of life. Looking for something to help me burn out bright. I’m looking for complication. Looking cause I’m tired of lying. Make my way back home when I learn to fly…”
AJ was still the same even a year later. His hair was tinted blue on the tips with some green tips here and there. He wore black baggy pants and a black t-shirt that read Bada Bing across it in red with a silhouette of a woman on top of it and a small red Sopranos written in the corner under it. He had a pair of aviator sun glasses on that were tinted red. He bounces his head along to the music as the song switches to “Stitches.”
“Take another stab at me. I promise in time I’ll heal. But yesterday went on and on a bit too long. Wait it out on high strait. There’s nothing to find out here. Another day has come and gone. I’m all alone wasting all these years. Dress me up in stitches its now or never, tired of wearing black and blue. Dress me up in stitches it’s now or never dying to get my blood on you. How can you go one with your murdering song killing me like you do. Give me stitches now or never…”
AJ had become an actor now instead of a singer even though he still did his Johnny No Name once in a while. He lived for the high of a real audience cheering him on like before. AJ had been acting on the Sopranos for the last season as Tony Soprano’s soon to be nephew-in-law Caleb Gadotti whose father was Salvador Gadotti the boss of the New York mob. His new girlfriend, Isabella, played his girlfriend on the show. After Nick disappeared his relationship with Lorelei went down the tube and they decided it was bet to call it quits before they killed each other.
So here he was driving to Kevin’s. When he got the part in the Sopranos he haled up stakes and now spent half of the year in New Jersey around New York and the other half in Florida in his house. He hadn’t seen all the guys in years and what a time to meet up again. He talked to them though. Anyone who knew AJ knew he could talk for hours about anything that came to his mind.
“What are you doing?” AJ asks as he looks in the rearview mirror at Isabella who was stretched out in the middle row of seats holding a mirror up.
“Putting on makeup.”
“Whyyyyyy?”
“I wanna look nice.”
“It’s the guys they won’t care.”
“Leigh Ann always looks nice.”
“Yes, but God loves Leigh Ann and Brian, so he gives the two of them the pleasure of looking good in every damn picture they take.”
“True.”
“Put it down sweet heart you look wonderful,” AJ says as she smiles up at him and she did look good. The girl never had a bad looking day make up or no make up. Her brown hair was always in place and her large brown eyes didn’t need mascara or eyeliner only eye shadow once and a while.
“You gonna be ok today?”
“Yeah.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be fine,” he says more to himself because he knew today was going to be one of the most awkward days of his life all twenty-four years of it.
Howie stares at himself in the mirror and sighs. He felt like shit today and he couldn’t do anything, but sulk around the house. He thought if he got one more person who walked up to him and said don’t worry we know Nick is fine; he was going to scream and have a breakdown. Yes, he knew Nick was fine, but God he wanted to just drop the subject right now.
Everything in his life was horrible right now. Well for this day it was. His neighbors were annoying the hell out of him. His girlfriend just left him a week ago for some model or whoever the hell it was. The fans decided that since he was Howie, they would go to him whenever they felt like it. Now he was sure of it, he was going to have a breakdown.
Besides all the tragedies that were happening Howie had a good life. He had gotten out the entertainment business except he would write an occasional song for someone. Howie had turned to his business instead and ever since Nick disappeared he had divulged himself into it. All his time was spent making it better and expanding it.AJ had become the actor, Brian the singer, Kevin the average Joe next door, and Howie had become the business mogul. Now he was going back to Kevin’s to see them all again.
Howie grabs his coat and heads out the door walking to his corvette. Kevin only lived a few minutes away; so it wasn’t going to take him long to get there. The fact that his house was bigger then anyone’s in his group never seemed to faze him the least. AJ had won a Golden Globe for best supporting actor in a drama, but Howie was one of the world’s most eligible bachelors. His business had expanded into a multimillion-dollar corporation now because of all the work he had put into it. God that was said he had spent far too much time working.
The music business had once again into a rock movement with the coming emerging of punk and rock groups from everywhere. After the Backstreet Boys stopped the pop market in the US relied on Britney and NSYNC, yeah that lasted a whole two more months. Justin Timberlake quit the group and ran off with some girl he met in the ghettos of Philadelphia. That caused Britney to have a breakdown, since Justin was cheating on her and she left the spotlight. Meanwhile NSYNC without Justin was pointless they were down to SYNC and that was what they did sink. JC had his own career, but the others God only knew and Howie could care less. There was the end to pop music as people knew it.
Howie drives down the highway and looks at his watch quickly 3:15 pm. It was going to be a long night.
Brian walks out of the airport pushing along a cart full of his and Leigh Ann’s suitcases as Leigh Ann walks up carrying a small baby girl, a diaper bag and two small Chihuahuas that were on leashes. Brian looks around and spots a limo man who was holding up a sign reading Littrell.
“This way babe,” Brian says and pushes the cart up to the limo driver as Leigh Ann follows him getting into the limo with the baby while Brian and the man put the luggage into the trunk.
“You ok?” Leigh Ann asks as Brian gets into the limo and shuts the door.
“Yeah fine,” he says smiling,” Hey Fay,” he smiles waving at the baby before he takes her from Leigh Ann.
“Are you sure you’re ok?” Leigh asks Brian with sad eyes.
“I’m fine really can we please just drop the subject and try and have a good time today.”
“Ok,” she says sighing and leaning back into the seat.
Brian sighs staring down at his daughter who had the same bright blue eyes as him and blond hair like her mom. The three of them all lived in Atlanta still and instead of disappearing form the spotlight Brian had decided to try a solo career, but geared more toward gospel music. It was one of the most success full albums of all time in its genre even winning a Grammy. On it he had done a cover of the Maniac Street Preacher’s song “Nobody Loved You” with AJ and they dedicated it to Nick.
Brian stayed in contact with the others the most flying here and there to visit people from time to time or spending a week in Florida with Kevin’s family. He would drop by AJ’s set while he was doing promotion in New York. It was classic Brian as AJ told him.
He missed Nick though. Nick had been his best friend for years and he had watched him grow up in front of his eyes. The thing that hurt most about his disappearance was that Brian didn’t even have a clue about what was wrong with him. He didn’t know his life had gotten that bad and he hoped that if it ever did Nick would tell him what was bothering him before he did something as drastic. But Nick didn’t and Brian never saw Nick again. Towards the end though he could tell something was wrong. Nick would seclude himself in his hotel room or go out alone, sometimes not going out at all. The person that was there wasn’t Nick though, he was sure of that.
He would love nothing more then for Nick to come walking through Kevin’s front door and smile that dumb smile he had and say “Hey guys I’m back”. He knew it wasn’t going to happen though. All he wanted was his best friend back, but he knew that Nick had left for a reason. He only wished he knew why.
It was back to Kevin’s now with everyone else. He was just hoping that since all of them would be coming together they would be able to do something they hadn’t been able to do before, piece together the pieces and understand the Nick carter that was with them for the last few days. There was one thing that Brian had found in Nick’s bus that would help them the most he hoped and he hadn’t looked at it yet, it was Nick’s diary.
Brian stares as Kevin’s house comes into view and soon the limo was pulled up in the driveway. There was a Corvette and an Expedition parked there already. He opens the door and Tyke and Lil Leigh run out up to the front door; they knew the place well enough. Brian hands Leigh back the baby and he gets out helping Leigh out next.
“Ahhhh! Rok, how are you man?” AJ yells running out from behind the house and jumping onto Brian. Brian stands there holding AJ up before letting him fall to the ground.
“I’m good, AJ. You?”
“Great man,” he says getting up,” Hey Leigh.”
“Hey AJ,” Leigh Ann smiles.
“Ah, it’s the rat dogs,” AJ yells running off chasing after Tyke and Lil’ Leigh.
“AJ had a lot of soda before you came,” Isabella says walking up with the others.
“Yeah, I can tell,” Brian smiles as the limo driver walks up with their luggage. Brian hands him the payment and a tip.
“C’mon in,” Kevin says helping Brian by grabbing a piece of luggage and Howie does the same, “You can have your usual rooms,” Kevin says walking inside with the other following him, “So do you wanna unpack now?”
“Nah,” Brian says, “ Lets eat first.”
“Food isn’t done yet,” Kristin says walking back into the kitchen.
“Ok, well lets unpack then,” Brian says going to drag his suitcase up the stairs.
The others help Brian take his bag upstairs while the girls all stay downstairs talking about homes, their men and God only knew what else.
“Guys, I really need to show you something,” Brian says unzipping one of his suitcases on the bed.
“What?” AJ says sitting down on the bed.
“This,” Brian says pulling out a leather bound book and holding it up.
“A book?” Howie says staring.
“No, it’s Nick’s diary. I found it when I was cleaning out his old tour bus. It was stuffed down between the bed and the wall.”
“Did you read it?” Kevin asks staring at him.
“No, I thought it was best if we read it together.”
“Jesus, we may know what was going through his mind now,” AJ says.
“I know. I was hoping we would find out.”
“Guys dinner is ready!” Kristin yells up the stairs.
“Lets look at it after diner ok,” Kevin says.
“Alright,” Brian says.
“C’mon guys,” Kevin says walking out of the room followed by Howie.
“This is for later I guess,” Brian frowns putting the diary on the bed by AJ as it flips open to a page
“Yeah guess so,” AJ mutters to himself looking down at the open book.
I just can’t take it anymore, was written in big letters across the page and AJ frowns taking his eyes off of the book and walking silently out of the room
