1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
4. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die.
6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
10. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage."
Impressing the Oppiste Sex Difference
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
compliment her
cuddle her
kiss her
caress her
love her
stroke her
tease her
comfort her
protect her
hug her
hold her
spend money on her
dine her
buy things for her
listen to her
care for her
stand by her
support her
go to the ends of the earth for her
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
show up naked
bring beer
Why Dogs are better than Women
Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
Dogs love red meat.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
No dog ever brought a Kenny G or Michael Bolton album.
Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
Dogs never want foot rubs.
Dogs find you amusing when you are drunk.
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
A dog's parents never visit.
Dogs would rather you buy them a hamburger than a lobster dinner.
Dogs think you sing great.
Dogs don't cry.
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs like it when you leave the toilet seat up. Dog's time in a bathroom is confinded to a quick drink.
Dogs don't notice if you call them by a different name.
Dogs are excited by rough play.
Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
Anyone can get a great looking dog.
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate them.
A dog's disposition does not change once a month.
Dogs never examine a relationship.
Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that smaller animals are made to be hunted.
When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you, you can have it put away.
Dogs like beer.
Dogs don't hate their bodies.
No dog ever put on 30 pounds after reaching adulthood.
Dogs don't criticize.
Dogs understand that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs never expect gifts.
It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
Dogs don't worry about gems.
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you have had.
Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk and the back of your sock drawer.
Dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelry.
Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
You never have to wait for a dog -- they're always ready to go.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
Dogs aren't chatty. Hell, they can't even talk.
Dogs seldom outlive you.
