LOG THING
This here is a journal that I am going to start keeping bout my page and the way that I feel and stuff each day..It is sorta like a diary type thing, but it is not..Well I am gonna also put things in it like umm what I did to my page and stuff..*grins*..This here sounds really dumb..
June 29 (4:35am)- Well I started this page a lil more than a week ago and it is like my first web page that I have made using HTML tags..and I had worked on my page for three days or so before I gave the addy out for my friends to see..*grins*..But my page is still under construction and stuff..I plan on working on my page as much as possible and like still have a life away from my comp..*grins*..which I haven't had since like December when my dad finally decided to get the internet back..I love my computer and I find it very hard to go a day without getting online..*grins*..I hate it when I check my email box and have no new email..cept like there have been four new emails that I have not yet read in there since June 21..*grins*..They are from geocities I think..I was originally gonna go through that to make my web page, but couldn't figure anything out cuz I am dumb..*grins*..This here prolly sounds really dumb to you and I donno why you are even bothering to read my log thing-a-ma-bob, but you are, and I guess that you are prtty interested considering that you are still reading this..*grins*..Well lemme see..what else do I have to write here?..Umm I donno so I am going to go..(4:41am)
July 1,1999 (3:22 am)- Well yesterday just flew past..*grins*..I have like three more days to finish cleaning like five rooms in my house..I am so tired of cleaning..Why is it that I hate cleaning?..Probly because I am a teenager and just wanna go out and have fun and party without cleaning up my mess..*grins*..I think that like a lot of teenagers hate to clean..*grins*..I am in a mood that I don't really recognize and I ain't sure why..I woke up yesterday and all that I could think about is my ex-boyfriend, James..I was sleeping and having the most wonderful dream about him when my dad called me and woke me up..Well I started to write James a letter but then just wrinkled the paper up and threw it away and started writing him another one..I started to write him seven or eight times and then just gave up because I know that he is never gonna read it evev if I did actually send it..But then I finally wrote him a letter and read it to my sister..She was like Theresa Get over him..It isn't your fault that he left you..and it isn't your loss cuz you are the best person that you can be..You are very sweet..My lil sis told me this..And I think that she is THE GREATEST! I donno what I am gonna do this fall when I go off to college and I don't have her there by my side all the time to take and umm what is that word..encourage me all the time and tell me things aren't my fault..*grins*..I am also so worried right now..I have to make a decision in the next couple of days bout which college I am going to go to..Neumann or Thiel..I think that both colleges look great and they both sound great, but i have to choose one or the other.. so umm I am gonna try to figure out which of them I wanna go to..I am leaning toward Neumann right now cuz it sorta looks like a better college, but looks can be decieving..*grins*..Well I am like having fun typing this tonight and I donno why..*grins*..I really wanna talk to my ex boyfriend but I can't cuz his mom told me not to call there ever again..I don't know why tho..cuz like James told me that he likes me and everything..*grins*..I donno what his mom has against me cept maybe she doesn't want hier lil boy to grow up..I have not a clue to what I am saying right now..ceopt that i wish he would realize how much I love and wanna be with him..I donno..GRRRR my comp is like messing up..it is like typing over what I am writing and I can't see what I just wrote and it is like making me really mad and umm..ok theresa kewl down..you love ur computer and you have no clue what yoyu would do without it..I umm like to type and this might be getting boring to you, but I am enjoying this..*grins*..man does the line above this look funky..*grins*..If this shows up the way it looks to me right now..I am gonna scream..I am already getting a headache from like looking at the line above this..*grins*..Okay I just saved this to make sure it wasn't gonna look like it does to me and like now peoples are gonna think that I am like crazy or something (well yeah..I am crazy)..but like here I will tell you what I was doing..I am in like the notepad program on my computer and like if I type something and push backspace..like all of my words go wacky..and I have no clue why.. I wish that it would stop cuz I am like gettin mad at it for like just messing up and I donno why I am getting mad at it..cuz like it can't talk to me..*grins*..well then again maybe it could if someone was in my comp hacking it..*grins*..and like I already know that it has feelings cuz like if I tell it I love it twice a day and kiss it once then it is gewd..Well yesterday I didnt tell it anything at all cuz I wasn't really on it that much..Well I wanna like stop writing in a way cuz you are probably getting bored reading this..But I really wanna talk to someone and like I have no one to talk to..I am like feeling rather lonely and not all here at this point in time..I really wish that I had a friend to talk to right now, but I don't..*grins*..I am like really lonely tonight and I ain't sure why..I umm could always go type that email thingy up,but I ain't online right now and I really don't feel like signing on..*grins*..well if I signed on..maybe I could have a friend to talk to..hmm yea I think that I will sign on line..I mean it is 4 in the mornin..I am sure that I camn find someone to talk to..*grins*..well I guess that I won't get online to see if there is someone to talk to cuz my mom just told me not to get on the net..man I really want someone to talk to..I would like go do what I used to when I got sad and lonely, but I know that doing what I sued to do just isn't right..*grins*..in case you don't know what I used to do is like take and cut my wrist or my ankle to feel pain that I didn't quite know where it was coming from..I mean I know it isn't right and stuff, but like I used to think that if I felt the pain and knew where it was coming from then maybe, just maybe the pain would go away..well it hasn't went away yet, and I doubt that it will ever go awaay in a way..I would go up to my room and just cry but I ain't really in that kinda mood right now..*grins*..I am in a very happy, but very very lonely mood right now..I hope that this umm mood goes away really soon cuz I like don't like it very much..it is making me really down and depressed..*grins*.. umm so hmm what else do I feel like typing right now..I donno..I just like typed four more poems (well two poems and umm two lil song things)..I ummam like really cold right now..*grins*..Well I am gonna go read a book and maybe clean a lil more of my house..*grins*..talk to you all laterz.. Love Always, me!..(4:17 am)..
July 2, 1999 (2:08am)- Well last night when I got off, I went and colored in a coloring book and umm like drew a couple pictures, one of a penguin, one of a duck with an umbrella, and one of a frog with two mushrooms and a lil drum..I suck at drawing tho..I think that I will color the pictures that I drew and send them to my friends..*yawns*..I am a lil on the tired side tonight and I ain't sure why..I am talking to this kewl guy named Al right now, he is like just awsome..So umm I went surfing the net fer more things fer my friends, but like I didnt find anything else today..amybe I will surf it again in a lil bit..I donno..I am like in the mood where I wanna type, but like have no clue at what to type..I know I am gonna go type a email thing and then I will come back and write more..*grins mischieviously*..(2:22am)..
July 2, 1999 (7:59am)- Well it took me two hours to type that umm email..and then I got off the comp and went and did the dishes..tons of fun there (NOT!!)..Well newho..I got to talk to my lil friendly brother Al, and that was like awsome!..I also umm like am now talking to this guy named Eric and he lives fairly close to me..*grins mischieviously*..well umm like I donno, but I have like no idea what to umm type so I am like gonna go now..I will wrote more umm later maybe..*grins*...Love y'all..(8:14am)
July 5, 1999 (12:34am)- okay I haven't been on this stupid computer for three days..(well since I got off friday mornin)..when I got off friday mornin I was in a good mood..after I got off I went to bed and when I got up..my parents told me that I wasn't to touch my computer all week-end..well at first I couldn't wait to get back on and stuff..well then sunday night is here and my mom tells me that I can get on this stupid computer..and I would have just stayed off, but umm I donno..I feel so dang crubby right now and I would rather be in my room but I am to be on here..it fricken stinks..I was making something really neat with beads and pipecleaners and stuff..*grins*..I actually found that there is life outside from computer land..I am really not in the mood to type so I ain't gonna..Bye.(12:52am)
July 7, 1999 (1:09am)- It is like the seventh of july and I feel like crap right now...I donno why..I like got like twenty-three IM's at once a lil bit ago and I gave my webpage to most of them and then said have fun reading about me and then a lot of them told me that I was fat and ugly and so were all of my friends...I feel like so bad now..I like wanna type something cuz I am in that mood, but like I have no clue what to write (well type)..I sent my brother and Jen a letter yesterday...Why am I the way I am?..People tell me that I am like kool just the way I am, but like I sure don't seem to be..I just wish that like I knew what to do, and like what god's plan is for me in life..I know right now Satan is doing a good job on me and my head..I know that it is him talking and sayin cut yourself, but I like ain't gonna listen to him..I really would like to go up to my room right now and just start cutting my wrist, but I ain't going to cuz that ain't what god wants and I am living my life for God and not for Satan...Satan is just a big poo poo head just like my friend, Matt's shirt says..I just want someone to talk to that like I look up to or someone that I have known for a long time..I really do..*grins*..If only Kate, Jen, Meggie, or umm Annie was on right now, but it is kinda late and none of them are on cuz they are all in bed now...I have like a good idea in my head for another poem, but I don't feel like typing it or writing it cuz like it is VERY DEPRESSING...I umm umm should write it tho..I think that it sounds really good, but then again I am like not that smart so how would I know what is good and what is not..This here doesn't sound like me and I donno why I am typing or writing this thing, whatever this is...I know..hmm act happy and you will be happy..but how can one act happy and be happy when they ssure don't feel happy or umm how can one even try to act happy when they are so down and depressed??..Well I ain't gonna try to kill myself or anything, but I am gonna go now, and maybe write a poem or something and call it Nonsense things..(or just start a section on my writing and call it Nonsense..(1:32am)
July 15, 1999 (7:39pm)- I haven't been online a lot in the last few days because for once I have had other things to do..*grins*..Well let's see what all have I been doing?..I have been reading a book called I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb..I have been cleaning house again..*grins*..and my house still ain't spotless..I have been going to bed at a normal time and getting up at a fairly normal time for once in my life..*grins*..I have umm also went shopping a few times..wrote a few letters...cleaned my tadpoles water..*grins*..I like do that every couple days...umm I also got two kittens..(well one actually the other is my lil sisters)..I umm have went for a nice walk in the woods...Today at three thirty or so I donated blood for the third time in my life..*grins*..Did you know every time you donate blood that you save THREE peoples lives?..I just thought that was an interesting fact..I have umm wrote several emails in the time that I have been online..I umm added some more pics to my picture section and umm a few more names and stuff to my friend's list...I have also added a candle to my Main Page..*grins*..I donno..I am in the greatest mood right now for some reason..I am a lil tired tho and I think that is cuz I didn't wait the normal fifteen minutes like you are spose to after donating blood..My mom went with me to donate blood..which I think is totally awesome cuz we did something together..The lady that took and put the needle in my mom's arm took and bruised her arm accidentely..I will prolly donate blood again in September..*grins*..I am prolly making you bored with reading all this stuff..*grins*..I am like in a mood where I just wanna type and like type and like type about absolutely nothing..*grins*..but like I always manage to type about something..*grins*..I think I just contradicted myself..hehe oh well..umm so like in THREE days I will be in Canada with my AWSOME friend Murphie (aka Kate)..Then in umm a month and a half or so I will be off to college..It feels like sooo sooo wierd knowing that I ain't gonna be going to the smae place that I have went for the last thirteen years of my life and I sorta feel bad fer my lil sis cuz after three years of getting rides to school with my brother and me she has to start riding the bus again and it is also her freshman year of high school..*grins*..I think that my senior year I rode the bus maybe a total of four weeks and like that was cuz either my parents needed my car or like it was when myh car wasn't running or something and the lil kids on the bus were like obnoxious and like totally rude and like I told this one lil kid off (this kid was like only in first or second grade, but like she wouldn't keep her mouth shut and like she called me a few choice words and I like was getting off the bus and I heard her and I turned around and walked back to her seat and was like 'If you ever call me that again you will be a sorry lil girl and then the kid next to her calls me the same thing and then a few other kids started it and I was like and my parents wonder why I complain so much about riding the bus..*grins*..I just feel really bad fer my lil sis..She starts school the same day that I start college...It still feels really really wierd tho..*girns*..I am umm also really excited right now and like that is cuz of me going to be in Canada fer the first time in just a matter of a few days...*grins*..I just remembered that I gotta find my birth certificate sometime before Sunday..My family is having sorta a family reunion thingy a week from this Saturday..*grins*..I might not even have to go..*grins*..in a way that makes me happy, but then in a way it makes me sad..*grins*..see there is this one person that will be there that like means a lot to me..Her name is Geneva and she is the sweetest lady that I know..I haven't seen her for quite sometime now..I think for a few years anyways..*grins*..plus like my sister and umm her kids will be there and I haven't seen them fer a while either..but then again there will be like a lot of people that I really don't know and like they will be taking pictures and stuff..*grins*..It just umm seems a lil wierd in a way..*grins*..I am pretty much just babbling right now and I am having fun..*grins*..umm I have a headache and have had it ever since I finished donating blood for some reason..*grins*..oh yea I watched a lil bit of television today for like the first time since November..I was donating blood and like watching Rosey O'Donell or whatever her name is..They had hamsters on the show today..*grins*..I thought it was reallt neat..*grins*..Okee you are prolly getting bored reading this if you are even still reading plus like I am sorta painting my nails and stuff..*grins*..well I guess that I will leave you go for now..Have a nice day..*grins*..(8:08pm)
July 25, 1999 (4:42pm)- Well I have been pretty busy lately..I am really not in the mood to type right now cuz like I have a really big headache, but like I wanna keep y'all updated on my lovely little life..*grins*..Well I didn't get to go to Canada..which upset me a lil, but I guess I got over that when my parents said that it could be rescheduled..*grins*..all I gotta do to go to Canada is get all the laundry caught up and do the utility room in my house..now that is gonna be lots of fun!!..lol..umm like I started it umm last week..and yesterday I did like eight or so loads of clothes..well umm yea that is a lot, but like umm there are umm my families clothes which that is 5 people and then there are my cousins clothes and who knows how many of them I have that have come to stay with me from time to time..*grins*..so I have been working on that..I have finally cleaned my bedroom and if some people saw it they would think I am a neat freak, but like it needed to be cleaned...I have also decided on a college..I will be a freshman at Thiel College in Greenville, Pennsylvania this fall..I will be studying pre-med and minoring in French in hopes of traveling to France someday..*grins*..I umm have also went shopping a few time and umm have done several other things too..umm let's see..I have also slept a lot lately..*grins*..umm let's see...I have been having some good dreams and then I have been having some really FREAKY dreams..the one really good dream I had umm was with my friend and like umm we were playing this virtual reality game and like he had won the first two of the three games and like I had finally won the third and on our way out of the game..he leaned over and kissed me on the lips softly..then like I kissed him back and he went to kiss me again and like he just stood there looking into my eyes and then looked away and called me fish face..*grins*..but I thought that was a pretty kewl dream cuz it was with this guy who umm tutored me in Calculus my senior year in high skule and like helped me get a 'B' in the class for the year..umm then after that dream I started to have these really FREAKY dreams and like they are really really wierd..*grins*..well see like my friend had come back to life and then like we went to this party together and there was this set of stairs that led down to a brick wall and that is all..well my friend and I went ddown and sat on these stairs and started to talk and she was like this realy world sucks..I wanna go back to where I was before i decided to come bak..well then she picked up a knife and asked me if I wanted to go with her and I was like no I wanna stay with all my family and my friends and she was like I guess I ain't and I never was your friend and I was like yea you are my friend but I have so many plans for my life right now and she was like and I did to before i saw this other world that is so much cooler than here and I was like so go back to your other world and leave me the heck alone and she took the knife and cut her leg from the tip of her big toe on her left foot to like the top of her left leg and blood started to splurt everywhere..then like I woke up..well I went ahead and got up then cuz I was like crying after this dream..well then the next night when I went back to sleep I had another FREAKY dream with the same people and like it was concluded from the night befores and they have been concluded fer the last few nights and they are really beginnin to make me scared in a way..but umm I donno..I just wanna get back to normal dreams and I donno how..well that is enuf about that....umm so umm I donno..oh yea I took and got a class ring back in May and like had lost it three days or so after I got it..well I took and was cleanin out my purse to show my momma all the pens and pencils and markers and stuff I had to write with in my purse and at the bottom, I found my awsome ring..*grins*..umm and since I have found it..I have only taken it off my finger when I go to sleep and like I sleep with it on my thumb..*grins*..umm let's see..I think that is pretty much everything that I have been up to for the last ten days or so..*grins*..oh yea tomorrow night I am going to umm look at a light blue Ford Taurus and I might be getting it..*smiles*..umm and this coming Thursday-Friday..I go to Thiel College to take placement tests and umm register fer my classes and stuff..*grins*..well I guess that is all..I am gonna go play checkers now..so I will catch y'all laterz.. Have a HAPPY day and SMILE..(5:30pm)
November 17, 1999 (6:41 pm)- It has been almost four months since I have worked on my web page or anything, butI am like totally upset right now, and Ijust feel like typing and I plan on typing everything thatI have been up to and stuff..well I met the greatest guy in July..His name is James Anthony Henson, and like well we dated fer the last three and a half months, and like well he just broke up with me a little bit ago, and that fricken pissed me off, and I have like the greatest feelings for him, and well I will go into details with everything when I get back..I am goin down the hall fer a sec..ok I am back now..well in July I was playing checkers and like this guy came in and started playing with me and well he called me and like we started going out..then like we finally met in I think in October, and saw each other almost every week-end until Thanksgiving and then likewe didn't see each other for like two weeks and like well I met this guy named Dale cuz like he brought me chicken noodle soup when I was sick and like I felt much better after that..and like well I ain't gonna go into all the details like I originally was gonna do cuz I got like a ton of homework and stuff to do..well anywho..Jamie just broke up with me and like I donno whatI am gonna do bout Dale yet..I don't feel like typing anymore either so I am not gonna type..Bye, and two words are LIFE SUCKS!..(7:48pm)
April 9, 2000 (3:54 pm)- It has been a good four and a half months since i have wrote in this thing. I am almost always busy anymore. I might work on it a little this summer if i find the time. I don't even know if I will have a chance to be online this summer cause I might be working at an amusement park and living in the dorms that are there. I have an interview tomorrow for the job at Cedar Point. I broke up with that guy, Jamie January 1. I had been single til like a couple weeks ago. I am going with a guy from Erie. His name is Kevin. He is about 6'1 or so and kinda buff. He has big blue eyes and blonde hair that he shaves. He also has a mustache. Umm what else is there to write today?.. I donno, but I also like highlighted my hair, and will try to get a new pic of me on here soon! I also got new glasses in December..*grinz*. I really should be doing homework, and studying cause like I was sick last week and didn't go to any classes. Well I will try to write in here more often if I can. I wish I had mroe time on my hands than I do, but I guesss college people just don't have all that free time like high school students or people that don't have a life in the summer..*grinz*..I say people that don't have a life in the summer cause that is when I started making this page. I have like had so much happen in the last five months (well four and a half) that I just need to find the time to write in this thing so that I can leave all of you awesome people know what I am up to considering you must be cuious since you are reading this page!..Well I really must go so Have a good day, and keep checking here to find out more about me and my lovely little life!..Bye. :) (4:12pm)
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