My beloved Ribbons passed away approximately 4:10 PM on Monday, April 29 of 2002. Ribbon's is a Tonkinese cat. The breed was created by breeding A siamese and Burmese together. My mother and I made the hard decision to have her euthanized. She had been diagnosed with kidney failure only two days before.
My mom and I took Ribbons, along with her dog to the vet the Thursday before. We had noticed that Ribbons had lost alot of weight and had increased water consumption. I do not live at home anymore. I'm married and have a house of my own but I would stop by on occasion and help out my mom. She showed me Ribbons and I begged her to take her to the vet as soon as possible. She got her in with the dog the next day.
At the vet's office, he examined her and suggested that we get a blood test done which we agreed to. On Saturday my mother got the results. She called me to tell me that Ribbons was in advanced stages of kidney failure and that she had noticed even since Thursday a further decline in her health. I broke into tears as I talked with my mom. She told me that she was holding Ribbons in a blanket on her lap. I told her to hold her as much as possible. When I got off the phone, I broke down more and husband asked if I wanted to go see her. I did so we both went over and spent at least 2 hours over at my mom's house.
. I decided to spend the night since I didn't know how much longer Ribbons would be with us and I wanted to be with her as much as I could. I came home to my house to pick up some clothes for the next day and drove back to my mom's house.
During the night, Ribbons would cry and I would go over to my mom's room to get her and wrap her in a blanket. I'd bring her back to my room and would give her water through an eyedropper as she was having difficulty in drinking. She would not stay long and would want to be put down. She would cry again and then be quiet for a little while. I would catch cat naps when she was quiet, but as soon as she'd start crying again, I was back over to get her and wrap her in a blanket. I only got about 2 or 3 hours of sleep that night.
Sunday morning I showered and went to check on Ribbons. She was asleep, I went back home for a while. Later that night, I got my things for work ready, some more clothes and I went back over to spend the night again.
It was the same as the night before. Ribbons would cry and I'd wake up and get her. This time I had gotten some Gatorade and mixed it with water since Ribbons was dehydrated and had stopped eating. I figured the sugars and electrolytes would help hydrate her and give her some strength. I only got about 3 hours sleep that night as well.
My alarm went off at 5:15 AM and I jumped in the shower and got ready for work. before I ate, I made sure Ribbons got her drink. My mom was going to call the vet when she got to work to schedule an appointment for Ribbons to determine what we were going to do. I wanted her to be euthanized as she was just wasting away to nothing. She was not eating, was having difficulty drinking and when she walked, she staggered. I wanted her to die with some dignity, not as a skeleton who couldn't hold her fluids anymore as is what would have eventually happened. She deserved better than that.
I went to work, but I was in a daze. I told my supervisor that I was expecting my mom to call to let me know what time Ribbons' appontment was. I got the call at a little past 8:15 AM. Her appontment was at 3:40 PM. I started to cry a little bit and I told the supervisor that I would finish inspecting the PC boards and then I was going to spend the last few hours with my cat.
I left work at around 10:30 AM and made a few stops to try to find something to bury Ribbons in. The thought made me feel sick, but I knew it had to be done. I ended up not finding anything and so just went to be with Ribbons. I went to her right away and this time gave her straight Gatorade to really get her hydrated. I knew it wouldn't matter anyway, but I wanted it to make her feel better. She was so thirsty all the time. I tried to feed her baby food, she ingested a small amount, but not much. She had refused food for a few days by now.
I got a warm wet washcloth and wiped her face. I wrapped her tightly in a blanket and we went to my room. I lay down on my bed and lay Ribbons down on my stomach with her head cradled up on my shoulder. Only her face was exposed out of the blanket. She looked so young. Her face did not show her age. I kept wiping her face with the washcloth and her eyes closed. She started to purr ( I had asked her during the night to purr one last time for me) I cried and cried as I had for the past two days. We fell asleep together for an hour and a half. She woke me up as she started to get up to leave. I put her down and she staggered over to my mom's room.
I let the dog out in the meantime and I grabbed a pack of peanut butter crackers. My only meal since breakfast at 6:30 AM. It was getting close to the time to take Ribbons to the vet. I felt nauseated. the vet called and I discussed what I wanted for her and he agreed that at her age, if he was in the same situation he would do the same.
When it was time to go, I grabbed a blanket that I wanted to bury Ribbons in and wrapped her up in it. Then I grabbed the blanket we'd used for the past two days and wrapped that around her as well. I put her in my truck on the pillow and blanket that I had brought along with me when I spent the night. I got in the truck and she looked up at me. Her eyes were so bright and clear. Her eyes were so glassy the past few days but at that moment they were so clear and bright. I wanted to just sit in that truck and stare into her eyes forever. As I pulled out of the development, she got out of the blankets and I ended up holding her on my lap as I steered my Bronco through the construction zones. It only took about 10 minutes to get to the vet's office.
I sat in the truck for a few minutes before gathering Ribbons and putting her back in her blankets. We went in the office and sat down to wait for my mom to arrive. It wasn't long before she pulled up and came in and then we were called back to the office. The vet talked to us and I still said that I wanted to have her euthanized. He had said that she was in no pain, and that the crying was probably because she couldn't understand why her body was not acting the way it should. The decision was made to put her to sleep.
We had the option of staying with her or leaving the room. My mom did not want to be there, but my response was "She's been my best buddy since I was in second grade, I'm not going to leave her now." My mom left the room and I sat there along for what seemed forever. I felt so sick to my stomach. Finally, the technician came in and asked me if I needed a few more minutes, I said No that I just wanted to get it over with. I would have vomited if I waited any longer.
The technician informed me of the process, and what could happen. I understood completely. I layed Ribbons on the table and had her head resting on the crook of my arm. I stroked her face with my other hand. The lady tied a tourniquette around Ribbon'e upper arm and then gave her the injection. It was over very quickly. As she was leaving, I told Ribbon's that I loved her, that I would miss her, and I would never ever forget her. Afterward, the technician helped me wrap her body in her blanket,a nd place her in a box. I closed her eyes and curled her up to make it look as though she was asleep. I cover her body with the rest of the blanket and carried her out. The Tech. said how sorry she was, and I told, her, that you just could ask for much more than 18 years. She lived a long healthy life full of love.
My mom asked if I wanted to take Ribbons home with me so Randy, my husband, could build a casket for her as he had said earlier he would. I took her home with me. When Randy got home, he set to wotk building and about 2 hours later ended up with a nice little casket.
we headed back over to my mom's house with Ribbons' body, the casket, a shovel and a garden fork. at about 9:00 PM, we started digging a hole outside my mom's bedroom window. When the hole was large and deep enough, I went and got something to line the casket with and got a pink blanket that Ribbon's had used down in the basement. I placed those in the casket and then went and got Ribbon's body wrapped in her other blanket and placed her on top of the pink blanket. I asked, do we want to bury Papa Smurf with her? When I was young, I had this six inch tall, stuffed animal Papa Smurf. It was my favorite toy. Ribbon's also loved to play with Papa Smurf and would take him when she got the chance. I would hide him and eventually she'd always find him. I used to get so mad at her. I got Papa Smurf and placed him under her arm so it looked as though she was hugging him. I also placed a catnip mouse at her head.
Randy placed the lid on the casket and tightened the screws. Then we lowered her into the ground. We talked with my mom for a short while afterward about some of the funny things Ribbons had done in the past. Then we went home and I went right to bed.
The next few days were very hard. I felt so lost and like a part of me died with Ribbons. I'd cry alot. Sometimes I would be okay, then the next minute, I'd break down. I felt as though someone had kicked me in the gut, tore my heart in two, hit me between the shoulder blades with a sledge hammer, squeezed the air out of my lungs and was squeezing my head. It was physically painful to think of the loss.
I had to let my mom's dog out two days later and while there, I mowed for my mom and then I spent a few minutes at Ribbons' grave talking to her, telling her how lost I was and how much she was missed. As I got up to leave, I felt a little more at peace. The next few days have been a little easier. I'm still sad, but the depression is not as crushing to me now.
As I think back to how she looked laying in that box, I can't help but remember how her thin, frail body seemed to be filled out more and how young and peaceful she looked. It was as is if in death, her youth and good health had returned. I won't remember her as the sickly, scrawny little cat she had become, I'll see her as she was for most of the 18 years of her life. She played up until she was about 16 years old. Only in the last 2 years of her life did she slow down.
She was my friend for 18 years. We got her when I was 8 years old and in the second grade. She was 4 months old when we got her. She filled our life with joy and love and she is and always will be greatly missed. She was a good cat. She never bit or scratched anyone. she never missed her litter box and she never scratched the furniture. She did when we first got her, but we easily trained her to use her many scratching posts placed around the house. She was easy to teach. She spoiled us. She is missed.
8-17-03 Well, I just read this story again and am in tears. I still miss my friend so much. I had done a pastel drawing of Ribbons on Canson Mi-Teintes paper for my mom on Mothers Day and matted and framed it. I tried to do another one of Ribbons on velour paper and I got about a quarter of the way through it before I had to put it away. It was just too painful to keep working on that picture. I hope to be able to finish it soon though. I would love to enter that drawing into the York Fair this year. We'll see.
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