For the woefully
Worship of The Potato (as His buddies call Him) began long before the dawn of history in that most blessed of all nations, Peru. The Incas knew our Starch-Based Savior as "acsumama," and worshipped Him (or Her, The Potato transcends gender) on a regular basis. Then, in the 1530s, along came the Spanish, persecuting all non-Christians and basically screwing everything up (but I can't really blame them, as they were forced to speak to one another in Spanish their entire lives), and The Potato was forgotten for centuries.
Until, that is, Orientation for the Class of '02 at Colgate University. We, the soon-to-be disciples of The Potato (a bunch of first-years and Callie, the Honoraray Freshman), were eating dinner in the elegant atmosphere of Frank Dining Hall, when we noticed an odd-looking potato (Jen has tried to claim credit for this. Don't listen to her.). Weird food at Frank was not surprising, but Dave realzed that the potato was trying to communicate with us, that it was, in fact, an oracle!
I'm sure you can guess what we did next: we stole it. We took this oracular vegetable up to the Colgate University graveyard (our traditional meeting place, Jen will also try to claim credit for bringing us there), where it led us into a profound theological discussion which ended when the potato got mushy and we threw it into the woods.
Since then, the cult has grown and grown. Be a part of Potatodom. Join us! Just e-mail email@example.com, and we'll send you a nice confirmation e-mail which you can print out to prove that you are a member of this exciting and fast-growing cult. Hang it on your wall, and impress potential clients/employers/friends/lovers. Or, if you're feeling really ambitious, you can cut and paste our message into Word or Pagemaker or somesuch program and create a nifty certificate of membership. Or you could do that without e-mailing us, but the Potato does not look kindly upon hypocrites, and He may decide to smite you.
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