New Development: The antipotato has enlisted the help of a group called "The Pantheonova" to help undermine the worship of The Potato. They must be stopped at all costs.
Until very recently, it was believed that the main threat to the worship of The Potato came from established and well-meaning (if sadly mistaken) religions, such as Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, The Holy Turtle, and the Church of Elvis.
How foolish we were.
Potato Prophet Dave, who brought you the good news of The Potato, has had another revelation, one that is shocking and horrible in its implications. He has discovered:
We do not know his true name yet, but the term "antipotato" encompasses his purpose: To destroy the good works of The Potato.
We call upon all of our faithful worshippers to reject this diablocal menace and his nefarious plots wherever they are encoutered. The following is a list of the organizations which we have determined to have links to this heinous being:
- The show Survivor (and Survivor 2)
- The Pantheonova
- The 5th Society
- Cornell University
- The bands White Willard and Edi Skrad
- The babies on the Gerber baby food jars
- Anyone sitting on the "boogie bench" in the park
- Tony's Pizza
- All squirrels, especially Canadian ones
- The nation of Finland
- The Colgate University Society of Madness
- This one guy we saw in Frank the other day
- That kid at the pool who always wants to know where the hermaphrodite bathroom is.
- Mrs. Claus, Donner, and Blitzen
- The Village People
- Kool-aid Man (Also check out Stories of Kool-Aid Man!)
- The American Rabbit Breeders' Association (sad, but true)
- Nike, Reebok, Adidas, and Big Earl's Discount Shoe Emporium
- The San Diego Padres (only the antipotato would name his team the "fathers")
- The Colgate 13 (they sold their souls for the 13mobile)
- The Round Earth Conspiracy
- Are Aliens the Agents of Satan?
Frightening image supplied by the Brunching Shuttlecocks
Contact the Pope: firstname.lastname@example.org
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