i never go to fancy resturants, and no sizzler is not a fancy resturant. so i never actually had a waiter come to me with a menu and go "pick" in a french accent. i had the friendly waiters at friendlys and those mmmyummy waiters at tgif. most two star resturants i have went to had nice menus and nice food and nice waiters. but what about those FIVE star resturants? mmm?

in my mind, a five star resturant visit starts out with a lot of bread. then a waiter comes over with a menu, you pick, two hours later youre eatin! then after dinner if you tip him good, he'll run to you as you leave. in a deep husky panting waiter voice tey'll go "ah madame, come come, you forgot ze dessert... in ze back oiu oiu". this is where the fun starts. you go through a trap door to a smoky brothel like thang. all those mens you like are waiting at the tables. you turn to the waiter to ask what the hell is going on, but he interupts to say you must pick a mens fo ze forbidden dance.

UHAHH? i bet youre all wondering who I'M gonna pick. mmm. picking from the menu of booty. i have a wide array of booty selection. so i would have all my mens fight to the death. the one who is least bruised and damaged after five minutes gets their chance in the spotlight. the others can you know, watch or something. yeah right. this is a 5 star resturant. i get all the booty i can handle.

this is the difference between five stars and two stars. but never ever go to a one star, oh no. you'll end up getting served by a FAT waiters at spa.... i can't say it i hate that place with a delusional passion... and they'll spt in your food, mind you they can't resist the foodly temptation and eat half of it before it gets to the table spit and all in full glory (its uh, sposed to be like this, small portion equals smalll uh weight). NO. one star for you brotha. and if they try to take you in the back of a one star resturant, cry. it will be the end of you.


oui oui