special guest: camille

Shiny, ooh, so bright and purrrty

You have to stop and just gaze or in extreme cases follow it even if it runs from you. That's right, shiny things. Even the most crappiest crap in the universe can be rad if it shines. Broken bottles from afar, reflecting sunlight. Nice.

I love all things shiny. Men with shaven heads that glisten in the sun while hopping down the street. These men i stalk. As they turn around to see who the strange girl is that's slobbering behind them, i skamper back into my corner and stare at my broken bottles.

I sit by the window all day and wait for the street lights to come on. Sometimes, when i run out of shrimp, i sit in the middle of the street. No, i'm not suicidal. I can live with out shrimp. The car light, ooh. They get bigger and bigger. When they hurt your eyes you know you have to haul arse back inside.

I can not eat shiny foods. The light they reflect calls out to me "oh, don't eat me". I know they're alive. If it eat them they'll crawl around in my stomach. They'll crawl through my veins. VEINS!!

Out of all shiny things available, saran wrap is number one. When i meet people i take them into my basement. We play with saran wrap. People aren't shiny like i want them to be. I have to help them. I let them play Spyro the Dragon on playstation. When they're into it, i suprise them with my pink saran wrap! They don't like it at first, but after a while they stop being fussy. All that playing makes them tired. I have to prop them up in a chair.

So far, 10 people have come into my basement. They must like the game cos they never leave! Um, they don't really move, either. Hey, what's that smell?

get the hades out of here before it's to late