i like baldness in the early stages of life

a smooth shiny bald head is not only.... oh dear god that's another metaphor isn't it!....anyway, it's not only reserved for old men, white folk, and guys who spend way too much free time around the bowling alley. bald headers lets call em, are a) stylin guys b) lazy guys or my favourite c) creative guys. just like me. but i'm not a... jebus!

when i see a nice clean shaven head it's like a preview for things to cum. whats worse then a big wiry hair between your front teeth? nothing, but you don't have to worry about that with those bald guys. see, and it's like a big piece of (tight) canvas (please) that will just hold everything you put on it without clumping all together like a big piece of cheapo pentech notebook paper. i should underline the word cheapo. and youre like what about that nice shampoo smell i like. bald men can put actual shampoo on their head and not even wash it off. just avoid the rain, buddy. so not only do you get the shampoo smell you get shampoo! buy in bulk!

you don't have to move to give a bald guy head cos it's right there. save those knee pads for scootering. just dont eat shampoo, okay? real bad thing.

speaking of bad bald things, fat baldies only emphasis rolls so go low carb before you do anything drastic. even if you are skinny, if you got a bad round head shape, stick with what you got. and oh jebus if you got a lobotomy you have to hide it with all the hair you can lay your hands on. and if your a little on the pale side and like to raise one hand into the air, get something a little longer. but otherwise. shave your head. there's a world of oppurtunity waiting for you.


bzzzt ah