Following are quotes from a little blue book aptly called "The Book of Thumb". Inside, etched on every page were quotes or quips taken from the memory of two special friends of mine before I left them to brave the world outside Canberra.
I thought I would immortalise them for the future generations.
Disclaimer: Many of these quotes are taken from TV or film. Don't copy them without asking "The Powers That Be".
Typical Male!
Never wear flourescent Yellow.
"What's he hiding Vir? Tell me... I won't bite Vir."
"With all respect Madam, that's not what I heard."
"All right, that one time."
"Twice!"
B5
"She bit you?" Chakotay, Bloodfever.
The universal response: "Gee, ya think?"
"There's coffee in that nebula!" Captain Kathryn Janeway
Never hit a superior officer, always shoot first.
"What do you want you moon faced assassin of joy?" B5
"All right Ensign. Get in the torpedo tube." Voyager
I am Microbrain, son of Pretty Small Brain.
"No you're right, we'll just beam a computer virus onto the mothership..." Daniel, SG1
"Reality dosn't bite, it crawls!" Joe's Appartment.
The rules of the studmuffin game:
Extra Points
1. Flannalette
2. Long, greasy hair
3. Goatee
4. Sideburns
5. Reved-up cars
6. Backward caps
7. Adidas marfia
8. Snap pants
"We don't have cats on Mimbar, we have gogs."
"Gogs?"
"Gogs are creatures created by the universe to make sure we don't take ourselves too seriously." B5?
"When the confusion passes, there is always sitting." Chriss
"What are you planning on doing? Walking through a nebula?" The Doc, Voyager, The Omega Directive.
"You still haven't told me when the commander is due back!"
"Soon!"
"How soon is soon?"
"Longer than a little while, faster than later!" B5
"That is sooo not the truth..." Ewan
"My Gould infested wife went to Abidos and all I got was this T-shirt..."
"I am sooo not talking to you!.." Lu
"Now... landing thrusters.. landing thrusters.. Hmm.. Now if I was a landing thruster which one of these would I be..?" B5
"So,.... how are you?" Leading questions in uncomfortable situations.
B'Elanna: "I've reconfigured the Doctor's optical sensors. As soon as they're aligned he should be able to detect the microwave signiture of the portal"
Doc: "Then I can begin my next career as a tricorder." Voyager
Apofous the nancy boy!
"Hover... like a humming bird?"
"With teeth!" SG1
My! What an unfortunate bulge..
"Oh.. oh.. Oh my god! I'm gonna pupate!" Joe's Appartment
"I have leeks!" Lu
"Helloooooo" Ewan to Penny (the dog)
"Wasn't I just killed? As in dead?" SG1
"I have broccoli!" Lu
"Captain! We're sorry, we thought you were dead!"
"I was, I'm better now.." B5
Spontanious Human Combustion: Otherwise known as weiners who set themselves on fire!
"Sorry to drop in on you like this but we were.... dead." SG1
"Now I go to spread happiness to the rest of the station. It is a terrible responsibility but I have learned to live with it.." B5
"Is that a globstick in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" DS9
"He's just a man... A very good, very bald man.." SG1
"Mmmmmm... Daniel..."
"He looks like a good kisser.." Dew on Kurt
DANIEL IS A GOD!
"Oh my God! It's a weinerman!"
"Mmmm... Daniel.. Pass me a pail!"
"Val Kilmer can't make a good Batman cause his lips are too big!" Dew.
DANIEL IS A SEX GOD!
"Ambassador, it is not my place to speculate on how anything gets in your bed.." B5
Q: "Mine's bigger!"
Janeway: "Not big enough!" Voyager, The Q and the Grey.
Reasons why Janeway is better than Picard:
Janeway has a first officer with a tattoo. (heh.. sorry, Lu couldn't help herself.)
Three words. Compression Phasar Rifles
Three words. Form Fitting Uniform
We Rock!
"That's a lie.."
"Yes it is, what's your point?" B5
You Suck!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Khan: With my breath I spit at the chicken..
Dr Bashir: It probably heard about my amazing medical skills not to mention my sexual prowess and came to get some pointers
Neelix: Actually Captain, I'm not familiar with the chickens in this system... But if you can catch it, I can cook it!
"Mmmmm... 41 mins.."
"It's life Jean-Luc, but not as we know it... it's a rock!"
Soo... met any Canadian middle aged women with children starting school lately?
More interesting conversation starters.
We are superior!
Jack: "Here's the plan."
Brae'tac: "You'll do as I say."
Jack: "Right" SG1
"Shank you!"
"Mmm.. yes please!"
"Thin air? Why is it always thin air? Never fat air, chubby air, mostly-fit-could-stand-to-lose-a-few-pounds air?" B5
The lizard rocks!
"You recieved permission for me to fire my staff weapon in the gate room?"
"Oh yeah.."
"Absolutely" SG1
"Oops.. Hey! The artifact!" Daniel SG1.
It scrambled out of Askam's sleeping roll where it had chewed several large holes for the sake of self amusement, and ran towards them. Pilgrim pg137. Sara douglass.
Mmmm... tight black T-shirt.
"Cameroon Chamelions" More useful tips for subject boxes.
Doc: "What have you eaten?"
Paris: "Just a pot of Neelix's coffee.."
Doc: "Good God! It's a wonder you're still alive.." Voyager.
"So from now on I guess the operational phrase is 'Trust no-one.'"
"No, trust Ivanova, trust yourself. nybody else, shoot 'em!" B5
"Commander Chakotay, your stick please.." Janeway, Voyager. The Cloud.
The deadliest of force. Voyager
Daniel is a space monkey!
"I can't write a letter like that to a girl!" Dew.
"Commander! Did you threaten to grab hold of this man by the collar and throw him out an airlock?"
"Yes I did."
"I'm shocked. Shocked and dismayed. I'd remind you that we are short of supplies here. We can't afford to take perfectly good clothing and throw it out into space. Always take the jacket off first, I've told you that before.
I'm sorry, she meant to say: "Stripped naked and thrown out an airlock. I apologise for any confusion this may have caused." B5
"Anything I can do to help?"
"Short of dieing?.. No, I can't think of anything." B5
Wiener Gods and Corn *ahem*
Out in the pasture
there are two major life-forms
Wiener Gods and corn
Wiener Gods and corn
Driving down the road
Frigg! There's a bug
on my windshield.
Turn on the wipers
Smush, smush, smush
Here comes the Weiner patrol
they're a bunch of weiners
They really piss us off
They really piss us off
(Guess you just had to be there)
Doc: "Let's see.. you ran your ship through it, fired phasers at it and blew a hole in it with a photon torpedo.." Voyager, The Cloud.
That's not my sheep!
"Microbrain! Growl for me so I know you still care." Q, TNG, "Q-Who."
Pasturised Paddymelon Poo. More useful tips for subject boxes.
Now let's burst into song!
Micro micro brain.
I want to be
A micro brain..
The little man rocks!
Joxer the Mighty!
He's very tidy
Everyone admires him
He's so handsome it's a sin
If you're in jeopardy
Don't call the cavalry
There's a better remedy
Although he dosn't work for free
He's every man's trustee
He's every woman's fantasy
Plus he's good with company
He's Joxer,
He's Joxer the Mighty!
Ha Ha!
"You can never go wrong with garters.... Hmmm.. you might." B5
"You've mispelled this"
"Oh go away! Repress someone else!"
"As you wish.." B5
"Oh my God! I have testosterone!" Dew.
Janeway: "I will give you two days off to ponder a life shattering experience"
Frigg! And not the Norse God either! Us.
"I'm waiting for an appology.."
"You'd better check the temperature in Hell first!"
Daniel is a God. One word. Duh!
"And we can't kill him either... I wasn't considering it, just stating a fact." Daniel. SG1
"I will not support murder! We can't just kill him!"
"Can't we just wound him? Just alittle?" B5
"Ambassador Delen remains indisposed."
"Indisposed! She's in a cocoon!"
"Yes?" B5
They call me doctor worm
Goodmorning how are you
I'm doctor worm
I'm interested in things
I'm not a real doctor
But I am a real worm
Where's the cheese?
"Man, what a bummer. Right when I gotta goto the can someone comes along and decides to blow up the world.." Space Marines
"My infant Gould protects me.." SG1
"Masculinity? What masculinity!" Dew.
"Smegga, cat, pat, paddy, giggle boy, curly, such a girl, master of his genre and all around nice guy." Description of Dew.
NICE ASS!
