**DISCLAIMER** This is for entertainment purposes only and no infringement is intended. The plot is mine but the characters belong to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. This is not for profit site.
Title: Second Chances, Part 1
Author: Lori Schadler
Rating: PG
Synopsis: Present day, 1999: As the last of her children leave the nest, Amanda King regrets a 15 year old decision. Little does she know that she will soon come face to face with a ghost from her past.SECOND CHANCES
by Lori SchadlerAUGUST 1999 - SAVANNAH, GEORGIA
It was a beautiful late summer day, and Amanda watched as her daughter-in-law, Emma, worked diligently for her in the garden. The young girl wiped her brow on the sleeve of her Georgia Tech T-shirt and continued plucking weeds from between the wildflowers. Swinging the rear porch door open with a loud bang, Amanda stepped out into the sunlight.
Emma's head shot up from her work at the sound of the screen door hitting the woodwork. Covered in a large straw hat and wearing a comfortable white linen dress, her mother-in-law was Summer personified. And she always seemed to be untouched by time. A classic beauty. As far as Emma King could tell, Amanda looked no older than the photos of her with the boys when they were just small.
"Emma!" Amanda called. "Why don't you take a break and have some lemonade? Its too hot."
Emma smiled widely, relieved. "I thought you'd never ask." She approached the porch and collapsed into a wicker rocker next to Amanda. "Is Jamie back yet?"
Pouring the lemonade, Amanda answered, "Not yet. I wish you two wouldn't rush this move. You know you're welcome to stay with me as long as you need. There's plenty of room."
"Your the sweetest mom, really. But its time for us to be on our own. With graduate school over and Jamie taking the position at the college -- its the right time is all. We're ready." She took a big gulp of the sweet and sour liquid.
Amanda sighed, "I know it. Gosh, Philip's been gone for years now. You'd think I'd be used to my bird's leaving the nest. Do you realize that I've always lived with someone - mother, Joe, the boys. I've never been alone for more than a few nights."
"Are you all right? " Emma never saw Amanda so melancholy.
"Oh, of course. Just feeling a little sorry for myself I guess."
Emma touched her hand gently. "I think you're going to like the peace. Its so beautiful here. I can't tell you how I've enjoyed spending evenings sitting here on the porch - reading a book, nothing but the sound of a few crickets."
"Being alone gives you too much time with your own thoughts." And she brushed quickly at the lone tear that had escaped her lashes.
Not missing the gesture, Emma looked at her concerned. "Amanda? What is it?"
"Nothing. I'm sorry."
"Its not nothing." She insisted. "This is about more than losing a couple of freeloaders. You know you can talk to me."
"I think... I know, I'm afraid." She stated matter of factly.
"Of what?"
Amanda took a deep breath. "If I'm alone, I'll remember. I'll regret. I'll get lost in yesterday. And it will be very hard to go on from there."
"But you've had such a wonderful life. The boys adore you. You have a great relationship with their dad. You are so active in the preservation society. You've really made a mark here. Everyone knows and respects you. What could you possibly regret?"
Amanda shook her head and smiled sadly. "My life has been wonderful. But there is one part of it, that I will regret as long as I live. One horrible, miserable mistake."
"We all make mistakes Amanda." She tried to reassure her. "You can't be perfect. And you can't regret them. You just learn to live with them and move on."
"Not this kind of mistake. It haunts me. You know? Its with me everyday. And I push it away with my household and my foundations and volunteering. And it creeps in whenever I give it a moment to take hold." She shook her head vigorously. "And I'm not going to let it happen now. Let's talk about something more cheerful. How is the new apartment coming?"
"No you don't" Emma insisted. "This regret is about love. Isn't it?" Amanda was silent. Biting her lip. "Its easy to see. Nothing could overcome you as much a much as love. Is it Joe?"
Amanda laughed weakly. "No. Joe is wonderful. But I've never looked back on our relationship. It was what it was. And we had two wonderful children as a result. Its not Joe."
"Then who?" Emma asked.
"Oh Emma. No one knows this. Mother took it to the grave with her. I don't know if I can bring myself to tell another soul."
Emma put down her glass and took Amanda's hands. "You can trust me. You obviously need to talk about it. You have always been there for me. Let me?"
She shook her head in silent agreement and tried to gather he thoughts. "Where can I begin?" She searched for the words. "When the boys were young, I met a man. I worked with him for years. We started out as friends. It took forever to get him to open up. And forever for me to trust in my feelings. But it happened. It was a wonderful romance. The kind they write paperbacks about, you know?"
Emma smiled. "I think I do. What happened? Why didn't Jamie ever mention it to me?"
"He never knew. Only mother knew. Lee... that was his name... You see, Lee worked for the government. In intelligence."
"A spy?" She exclaimed.
"Yes."
"I did." She scrunched her brow in a quizzical manner. "Are you trying to tell me that you are a spy?"
"Was a spy. Yes. I met Lee when he enlisted my help during an assignment. After that, the Agency would ask me to run interference, do odd jobs, small things that a middle-American mother of two was perfect at. Blending in. Except that I never did. I got into so much trouble you wouldn't believe. But Lee was always there. Supporting me. Even though he'd pretend that I was a nuisance."
"That's unbelievable." She scratched her head. "And you fell in love, with the spy."
"Yes. We fell in love. It was dangerous. But we didn't care because we had each other. No one knew, about any of it. Not about the spy business, not about us. We found hours, minutes... anytime we could to be together. And finally, Lee asked me to be his wife. And it was heaven."
"He proposed?" Emma gasped. "What did you do?"
"I married him."
"You married....?" She stammered. "But how?"
"Lee and I were married secretly. And we continued to live apart. Happy in our secret knowledge that we loved each other enough to brave the separation. And it worked for a while. But it was difficult. It was stressful. We were afraid to put the boys, mother... in danger. If anyone knew about our marriage, it would have made them prime targets."
"But it happened, didn't it?" Emma understood.
"Yes. It happened. Even though our own people, the Agency, my family -- no one knew. Somehow those Iranian bastards found out."
Emma gasped at the unprecedented vulgarity coming from the lips of her mother-in-law.
"They kidnapped Philip," Amanda continued. He was just a teenager. He was gone for weeks. And I had to pretend that he was away at science camp."
"But he's all right now." Emma tried to put the pieces together. "He must know about your work..."
"No, he was weak when we found him. Ended up in the hospital for a bit. Dehydration, malnutrition. But he pulled through, save partial amnesia. And fearing he might someday remember, the Agency gave him a little drug to take that awful piece of history right out of his memory all together."
"Amazing." Emma exclaimed. "But what about you and Lee?"
"The weeks that Philip was missing were the worst in my life. And I had been though some horrible spots. I couldn't put them at risk anymore. I couldn't watch my children lose their lives, their memories." She brushed away more tears.
"You left him." Emma stated.
"You understand?" She asked. "I had to."
"I'm so sorry. What a choice you made." She touched her cheek softly. "But the boys are men now. Have you ever considered..."
"No." Amanda laughed gently. "No, I'm not the same person. I'm older... a lot older. And I'm sure he's moved on. Or maybe even..." She was swallowed up by her emotion.
"Can't you find out? I'm sure he's still alive. Even in that kind of work, from what you say -- he's probably got more lives than a cat."
"I wouldn't know where to begin. And I don't know if he could ever forgive me." She lost herself in a reverie of remembering.
She, tears streaming down her face. He, angry and full of emotion.
"We've been though worse than this Amanda. You're just tired," he insisted. "This was a rough one. Give it time."
"I can't do this anymore Lee." She sobbed.
"You can throw it all away, just like that?" He threw his hands in the air in frustration.
"Its the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. You know I lo...."
He grabbed her by the shoulders, hard. "Don't." He demanded. "Don't say it."
"I love you."
He shook her, as if shaking her would put the pieces back. "What do you know about love? Is this love?" He let go and his arms widened to make reference to the situation. "You have some sick sense of what love is Amanda King. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to let you in? To love you?"
She couldn't stop crying. Her heart was broken. "I'm... so... sorry."
"So am I." And he turned and left her alone.
Amanda fell to the floor and sobbed uncontrollably. "I do love you," she repeated over and over again.
"Lee." She breathed quietly.
"What's your name?" Emma asked softly.
"Amanda Stetson." She stated proudly. "Oh how I've missed that name."
"Its lovely. Thank you for trusting me with it." She sighed and pushed herself up from the rocker. "Tell you what. Why don't we have a girls night tonight. I'll call Carly and the three of us and drink wine and watch movies. Philip's in Atlanta. I know she's got nothing planned."
Amanda smiled weakly. "All right." And she offered her hand to Emma, who in turn pulled her up from her chair. "The saddest movies you can find. That way I can cry my eyes out and pretend its for the heroine."
"Very therapeutic, a good cry." Emma agreed. "Message in a Bottle," "Out of Africa," maybe even "Casablanca." And remembering the premise, she gasped. "Oops, maybe not Casablanca."
Chapter Two
The following weeks were filled with busy preparations for moving Emma and Jamie into their new home. Through her work, Amanda found it easy to push aside the memories that had begun flooding back.
As she packed up the last of Jamie's things however, one remembrance slipped between the cracks. A baseball, signed by Babe Ruth. It had been a gift from Lee to Jamie. Jamie treasured it for its value, unaware that the man his mom dated for a time had actually been his step-father. Amanda now clung to it as if it were Lee Stetson's leather clad sleeve.
"Oh Lee." She cried. "I miss you so much."
Outside Jamie's bedroom door, Emma King slipped into the shadows. There was more to Amanda's loss than regret. And there was no reason she could not still be happy. What if this man was still alive and still available. What if he wondered about her as much as she wondered about him. Considering the way misunderstandings and pride had kept them apart in the beginning, there was no way either of them would be likely to try again now. Unless... someone intervened.
Chapter Three
"But we've just moved in." Jamie King argued. "What on earth could you need to do back in Arlington?"
"Its just business baby. Please, don't be angry." Emma cuddled up to her husband. "It'll only be for a few days."
"You know I can't say no." He smiled. "But you tell that boss of yours that next time you need more notice when he's going to send you out of town."
"Yes sir," she replied and kissed him tenderly. "I like it when you're so forceful." She giggled and tip-toed into their new bedroom. Diving onto mattress that still lay on the floor.
*********************************
INTERNATIONAL FEDERAL FILM
"I've told you young lady, that none of our producers see anyone without an appointment. Now if you'll please..."
"You don't understand." Emma pleaded. "I must see Mr. Melrose. Its urgent."
Mrs. Marsten picked up the phone to request an escort out for Emma.
"I'm looking for Scarecrow. Do you know that name?" She begged.
It was obvious from dazed look on Marsten's face that she did. "As I've said, you need to make an appointment."
"And how exactly does one make an appointment with a spy?" Emma demanded.
"What's your name?" The receptionist asked.
"Emma King," she stated. And watched the recognition on the woman's face. "I see you remember that name too. Amanda King is my mother-in-law. Now can you please help me find Mr. Melrose?"
Mrs. Marsten was taken aback. Scarecrow and Mrs. King. A legendary spy couple around here. The younger set often referred to them for training -- and the more seasoned, like herself -- well, they remembered them with a nostalgic blend of fondness and respect. She'd call Billy for this one. "If you'll have a seat, I'll see what I can do."
************************
Francine Fielder ran to the Crypto Room. Still donning four inch heels and a dress by Liz Claiborne, the sprint was no easy task. "Billy! Billy, you're not going to believe this."
"Francine, can't you see I'm in the middle of something?" Several men flanked him around a wealth of sound equipment. "Can you repeat that back?"
A mirage of sounds came forth from the speaker -- doors clanging, voices hollering, whistles blowing -- but one voice was more prominent, yet still not decipherable.
"Run it again. Take out that background garbage and get back to me as soon as you can. I can't shake the feeling that this is important." He turned to leave the room.
"Billy!" Francine demanded.
"What!" He had forgotten her. "Francine, it's a busy morning. What is it that can't wait?"
"You have a visitor," she replied.
"A visitor?" He questioned. "Since when do we accept visitors at the Agency?"
"I think you'll accept this one. Her name is Emma King." Francine pointed in the direction of Billy's office where escorts were showing Emma to Billy's door.
***************************
"Mrs. King..." God if that doesn't sound strange, he thought. "Mrs. King, I'm not sure what it is I can do for you. You realize we are a documentary film company."
Emma threw up her hands. "I realize that you do a great job pretending to be a documentary film company."
"Mrs. Marsten said you were related to someone who used to work here," Francine stated.
"Yes, Amanda King is my mother-in-law." Finally, she was getting somewhere.
Billy softened at the mention of her name. "How is Amanda?"
"She's healthy and beautiful and the most giving person I've ever known in my life. And that's why I'm here." She prayed for their assistance.
"Sounds like Amanda to me." Billy laughed softly. "But why are you here?"
"That woman is the only mother I have know for eight years now. She is the closest thing I've got -- and I love her dearly." She swallowed hard. "She's hurting, I want to help her. Its as simple as that."
Francine spoke up. "How exactly can we help you to help Amanda?"
Ignoring the uptight female and staring at Billy she replied. "I think you know, don't you Mr. Melrose?"
Billy paused, then nodded sadly. "Francine, can you excuse us please?"
"Billy? What's this about?" She demanded.
"Francine. I still out-rank you. Please leave." Billy winked at Emma as Francine stormed out. "Unfortunately, she's really about level with me now, but I can still work my authoritative magic on her occasionally."
Emma laughed. "From the stories I have heard, that doesn't surprise me in the least Mr. Melrose."
"You're looking for Lee, aren't you?" He asked.
"She doesn't know. She would probably skin me alive," Emma insisted.
"You realize I can't share classified information," he said.
Nervously she asked the inevitable question. "Is he alive, sir?"
"Very much so, yes. And still hard at work for our government." Billy smiled. "He's the absolute best man I've ever worked with. I love him like a son, if you want the truth."
"Is he married?"
"No. Never." He stopped. "Well, not since..."
"I know the whole story. She confided in me recently," Emma explained. "No one else knows."
"He took it very hard. Too hard." Billy sighed. "He was never the same. He became like a machine, and while machines do excellent work, without care they tend to break down."
"Can you tell me where to find him?" Emma asked, hopefully.
Billy simply nodded in apprehensive agreement.
Chapter Four
THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL
Emma approached a man sitting on the monument steps with his back to her. He held In his hands a sketch book and worked the pencil vigorously. She was hesitant to speak. And simply stood taking him in for a moment.
"Can I help you?" He asked without turning.
"You spies are good, aren't you?" She laughed quietly. "No sneaking up on you, is there?"
He turned to determine if this woman was friend or foe. She didn't fit the terrorist MO, she was young and beautiful. A blonde, probably about 25. And her eyes seemed to be filled with tears.
"Who are you?" He asked. "Did Billy send you? I'm not AWOL for god's sake, I'm just taking a break."
He returned to his sketch, turning his back again.
"Billy didn't send me. Though he did give me an idea where I could find you Mr. Stetson." She didn't want to scare him off.
He lowered his head, his shoulders slumped in disgust. "Look if you're the agency's latest shrink, I think you should be warned -- I'm a bad seed. I won't let you pick my brain. I won't even pick my own. Why does everyone want to help you make sense of everything. Why can't some things just be what they are - history."
"Is Amanda history?" She asked, fighting back the tears.
Still he would not turn back around. But his head lifted in horrified recognition. "What do you know about Amanda King?" He demanded softly.
"Don't you mean Amanda Stetson?" She asked.
"Who are you?" He spun around. "Who are you!" He stood and made short work of the distance between them. Grabbing her arm. "Who are you?"
"Emma..." She shook with fear and sadness. "Emma King."
A relation of some kind. This woman was related to Amanda. This woman had been in her presence, talked to her and touched her only recently. He knew it as sure as he knew his own name.
He dropped her arm and walked a few steps away. "Amanda." He breathed. "How do you know...?
"I'm Jamie's wife," she replied hesitantly.
"Jamie..." he remembered. Then a horrible thought struck him to the core. "Is she all right? Has something happened to her? Where is she?"
"She's well. We live in Savannah now." She tried to sum up the past 15 years. "Dotty died a little over a year ago. She took it pretty hard. And now the boys are both out on their own. Jamie teaches English Lit at Georgia Tech. And Philip is an attorney, like his father."
Lee smiled faintly. "Just like Joe... Is she? Did they?..." He couldn't bring himself to ask.
"Amanda and Joe?" She laughed. "Oh no. They get along well, but not that well. She's alone. That's why I'm here."
Lee's face lightened a bit. "She's not married?"
"Do you really think she could have?" Emma answered. "You must know how much she loves you."
"Loved me,." He replied bitterly.
"Can you really think it was such an easy decision for her to make? Her sons or her husband?" Emma asked. "The man she loved, or the children she gave life to?"
"We could have made it work. We could have kept the boys from any trouble," he replied. "She gave up."
"She never gave up. She never stopped loving you," Emma insisted.
"Really?" He asked sarcastically. "Then why in 15 years have I not once heard from her. Not once did she call or write. You can't just shut love off - pretend that its OK. She made me take a good look at myself. She made me realize that I was worthy of something more... and then she pulled it right out from under me."
"She's afraid," Emma choked. "Afraid that she hurt you too badly. Afraid of your reaction. And that you won't want her. That you don't want her."
Lee laughed and tried to keep the emotion from becoming unbearable. "Not want her? There isn't a day that goes by that I don't pick up the phone. You told me all about her, the boys.. but I know everything. I know about that white Victorian house, with the wildflowers growing all around the fence. And the way she stands on the widow's walk at dusk and stares out at the night sky. I know that she walks to the market on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons and that she stops to rest on a park bench and feeds the birds stale bread. And I know that she still looks exactly the way she did the moment we stood before the preacher and said, 'I do'."
Emma was stunned. He had been watching her. Watching them. For years maybe. He hadn't let her go for a second.
"But what does she know of me?" He asked painfully. Does she know how I sit alone every night in a sterile apartment, drowning myself in work and only coming up for air when it seems like I might hit bottom? Does she know how I revisit the places we shared our precious time together? That I keep our table at Nedlinger's and drink myself into oblivion whenever it gets to painful?"
Emma could not answer. Tears were running down her face.
"No, I didn't think so," he said painfully.
"I can't say anything to take away your pain. But all I ask you is this -- remember the years you spent pretending that you didn't care for each other. Being so close, but never close enough. Remember how stubborn you were - both of you. You are her only regret. Not bad for a lifetime, to have one regret. I've known people who have regretted their decisions at every turn. But I have never seen a woman so consumed by the sadness over one -- one unselfish act of motherly love. It cost Amanda her heart, and I just wanted to see if there was any chance of getting it back for her. But I guess that's your responsibility - not mine."
And she walked away. Realizing that she had said all that she could. If Lee Stetson still loved Amanda King, and she knew that he did -- and if he could swallow his hurt and pride, the next move would be his.
Chapter Five
INTERNATIONAL FEDERAL FILM
A knock sounded at the door of Billy Melrose.
"Come in," he demanded.
A young male agent entered the room. "We've deciphered that recording sir. We were able to take away all the extraneous noise and we've got the message."
"Well go on," Billy insisted. "What is it?"
The agent pushed the play button on a small recording device. "Its hot as Hades in here. Hasn't anyone got a match?"
The agent looked perplexed. "It doesn't seem to make sense sir. Why would anyone in a place as hot as hell be asking for a match?"
Billy stood at his desk. "It's code you imbecile. Maybe you need a few more courses in crypto. Get out of here and tell Mrs. Fielding to get in here on the double."
Moments later Francine entered the office. "You wanted to see me Billy?"
"Talk about ironies. That tape we heard earlier…. The message we were trying to get out of Iraq. The code on the tape matches the identification codes of The Prince."
"Philip? Are you sure it was him?" Francine asked.
"Never more sure." Billy confirmed. "Call Lee in."
Later that day back at Billy's office. Francine renters. "Billy - he's gone. I've tried everything. His pager, his cell phone. Sent messages to his usual haunts. He's just disappeared."
Billy shook his head in acknowledgment. "Our visitor this morning - I have a feeling she convinced him to take a little trip."
"Emma King?" Francine asked. "Did you send her to see Lee?"
"I think we'll find Lee in Savannah," Billy stated assuredly.
Chapter Six
Two days had passed since Emma had returned from Virginia. She visited her mother-in-law on a regular basis and watched her slump into a depression the likes of which she had never imagined.
"Amanda... Mom, please," Emma begged. "Why don't we take a trip to the park. It's a beautiful Fall day."
It had appeared that her talk with Lee Stetson hadn't been successful. She had figured him for following her back to Savannah. But there had been no sign in days.
Why didn't he come, she wondered. She was sure she had seen the need and urgency in his eyes. But for now, the urgency was in getting Amanda out of the dumper and into the world of the living.
"If you don't come with me, I'll be forced to walk alone." She smiled slyly, teasing. "Would you like to be responsible for some psychopath molesting me on the jogging trail?"
"Emma… your so kind. I'm so glad Jamie found you. He doesn't know how lucky he is." Amanda smiled. "Just a short walk, OK?"
Emma felt she had won a major victory. "Well all right! You know, the world does go on when the children vacate the roost."
"I've heard that rumor," Amanda joked. "I don't believe it." The two laughed in unison.
In a vacant house across the street Lee Stetson watched his Amanda. She looked so beautiful, but so sad. Maybe the girl had been honest - she did seem to be unhappy. If the loss of what they had shared has caused this melancholy, maybe… well - he could talk to her at least. See how she had been. They were leaving the house. He would come back at dusk and see if she was alone.
Amanda King watered the plants in her living room. "Sorry guys," she said. "I've been a little preoccupied. Been neglecting you I think." She continued her watering spree into the kitchen to a tall cactus standing on the tile. "Well, at least you aren't going to complain."
She heard a noise in the garden. "Oh not those darn rabbits again." And she walked out the back door to the flower bed. "Shoo!" she yelled.
When all was quiet, she took a moment to look at the stars. "Goodnight," she whispered.
"Goodnight," a voice replied.
Amanda laughed to herself. "There you go again," she mocked herself. "Voices."
As she turned to return to the house. A figure stepped out of the shadows. "I was wondering... if you've seen a man in a red hat?"
Amanda faltered, in danger of fainting. In response to her distress, Lee reached out to catch her. Her eyes locked with his, and for a breathless moment fifteen years of sadness were transferred between them. "Lee...," she murmured.
She was pressed against him, just as he had caught her. He looked down to her delicate fingers, his hand wrapped around one of hers. A world of emotion gathered in his chest, he wanted to wrap her up in his arms. But he wanted to push her away and let loose with an angry stream of accusations. Instead, he simply righted her and took a step back.
"Hello Amanda," He greeted her as if they were old friends who just simply bumped into one another.
"What are you... How did you..." She couldn't finish.
He wasn't prepared to tell her he had known her whereabouts for years. That he had watched after her since the day she left him. So instead he ignored her questions. "You look... beautiful."
She blushed slightly and whispered through ready tears. "What are you doing in my garden?"
"Where else would I be?" He replied in anguish. Truer words he had never spoken.
Confusion, sadness and elation made a strange concoction in her weary mind. She wanted to run to him and throw her arms around his neck. This was the man she had fought life and death to be with many times. The man she risked everything for -- almost. And he was standing here before her now as if he had never left. "I... I..," she stumbled. "I've missed you."
She shook her head embarrassed. "I've missed you." She repeated. "I haven't seen you in fifteen years and all I can say is, I've missed you. Way to go Amanda. The moment you've been dreaming about for years and all you can say is, I've missed you. I had lines, speeches prepared in my head for the chance, the small chance that one day this very thing would happen. And look at me. I'm a babbling fool. But then again, you should be used to that. I mean its not like fifteen years can make a person stop chattering like a... like a... Oh, what chatters incessantly anyway?"
Lee laughed softly, "You do."
Amanda put a hand through her hair nervously. "Same old Amanda."
"Same old Amanda," he repeated. "I'm glad."
There was an awkward moment of silence, where neither of them knew how to continue. She didn't want to dream that he could be here because he had forgiven her. But he was here. And he didn't want to let his arrogant pride surface. He just wanted to touch her. To hold her. But for the first time in a long time, fear was winning.
Finally, he spoke. "I've missed you too. Everyday."
"I'm so sorry." What more could she say. How could she ever find the words to take away what she had done to them both?
He nodded in silence. Knowing there was nothing more.
She watched him nervously. Afraid that like some rabbit in her vegetable garden, he would scurry away as soon as she got to close. She wanted to invite him in, but she was afraid the wrong words would send him bolting. But then something magical happened.
He smiled. That fabulous Lee Stetson grin. "Amanda..." he started.
She jumped in, feeling somehow that he had opened a door with that one word and body wrapping smile. "Would you like to sit on the porch? I can offer you a drink. Some wine? Sit with me for a while." She silently prayed he would accept.
"OK." He hesitantly made his way around the corner to the wide porch. Two white wicker rockers sat side by side. She had lit candles along the porch rail, and the candlelight cast beautiful shadows on the stained glass in the nearest window. "You've really done some wonderful things here."
"Thank you." She colored a bit. Embarrassed by his simple praise. "Let me get that wine. I'll be right back."
Nervously she opened the door, watching him settle cautiously onto the railing. Preferring it to the rocker. She closed the door behind her and took a deep breath, praying he'd still be there when she returned.
He was. "He you are. " And she handed him a glass of Cabernet.
As he took the glass, the proximity of their hands and bodies was dangerously close. And their eyes met again for a split second. "Thank you," he uttered unconsciously.
She took a seat and motioned for him to do the same. He didn't. Instead he stood by the railing as she had left him and took a sip from the glass. "You have a nice life here."
"Yes," she agreed, bittersweetly. "Its a lovely house. The boys are grown, wonderful men. You'd be..."
"Proud," he finished and shook his head in agreement. He was. Suddenly, being on the porch, with Amanda, made him remember his mother-in-law. Dotty. "I'm sorry about your mom," he offered sadly.
Amanda smile of remorse crossed her lips briefly. "It was painless. She died in her sleep, very peaceful. It was hard without her. We'd been together for a long time."
She reminisced, and something made her recall the funeral. "You sent flowers, didn't you? There was a large beautiful bouquet with no card. We assumed it got lost and of course we never asked... but now that you're here... I'm just realizing..."
He wordlessly acknowledged the flowers. "She was a wonderful lady. She gave me the greatest gift I've ever had."
Amanda looked a bit puzzled.
"You," he uttered softly.
Nervously Amanda glanced into her wine glass. "And you Lee...?"
"Nothing to tell really. You know the story. Hard nosed naive agent at 35, hard nosed indifferent agent at 50." He laughed to himself and Amanda looked saddened by his statement. He continued, "I'm semi-retired actually. Come out for a few of the big ones, but for the most I just-- well in fact, there's nothing to tell. I live rather simply."
Amanda didn't like to see him like this. This was not the Lee Stetson she knew. Full of energy, full of conviction for his job. She imagined him a playboy -- as he had been when they first met. Flying off here or there on a moment's notice. Dining at elegant restaurants and dancing till dawn.
"Doesn't sound like you," she offered.
"No, it does," he insisted. "It sounds exactly like me."
He stood up abruptly from his perch on the rail and stood towering above her. "The problem is Amanda -- you just don't know me anymore. The Lee Stetson you're remembering hasn't been around in over fifteen years. He's long gone."
"I don't believe that," She whispered, cowering from his hostility.
"Don't you?" He scoffed. "He's dead Amanda. I held a great wake in his honor. You should have seen it. The drinking and mourning -- it went on for months, years some say. Hell, I toast the old boy every night. Sometimes every morning and afternoon too."
Amanda was crying softly now. Knowing that she had brought him to this. Wishing that she could turn back time and somehow make a decision that would have been good for everyone.
"Lee... please. Why did you come here?" She begged.
"I don't know. To put a marker on his grave maybe." He shook his head, trying to keep his own tears from falling. "You're a cold woman Amanda King. Not one letter. Not one phone call. For all you knew I was dead."
Amanda sobbed. "Do you think it was easy? I didn't call because I didn't want to hurt you any more than I already had. I thought if I left you alone, you'd pick up where you left off. I loved you so much. I love you still."
Hurt and afraid, Lee decided that anger was the best defense. "That's your problem I guess. Thanks for the wine." And with that he set down the glass and walked out of her front yard, slamming the gate behind him.
"Lee..." She cried silently burying her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking with each sob.
*******************
Lost in her tears, Amanda didn't hear the footsteps on the porch. A hand reached down, touching her gently on the shoulder.
"Lee?" Amanda's voice asked, and she raised her head hoping to find him there. Instead she looked into the concerned face of her daughter-in-law.
"He was here," Emma realized. "Are you OK?"
"Not really," Amanda half laughed. "You went to see him in DC, didn't you?"
"I'm sorry." Emma knelt down next to the rocker. "I thought I was helping. What happened?"
Amanda wiped away her tears. "Fifteen years of stolen memories. I hurt him so badly Emma." And she broke down again.
Emma held her head tenderly against her shoulder. "He still loves you. I'm sure of it. If you could have seen him, heard the way he talked about you. Only love can cause a hurt that deep. And he's still reliving it. He's a proud man Amanda. I can see why you love him. But that pride... I think you've broken through it before. If anyone knows how--"
"Its late Emma." The thought of breaking through Lee's barriers for a second time exhausted her to the core. "I'm going to bed."
Emma stood up. "Isn't there anything....?"
"No." Amanda smiled stiffly. "I'm not angry. I appreciate what you did. But it didn't work. Lee can't forgive me. And I can't forgive myself." She turned and walked into the house, closing the door behind her.
Across the street, Lee Stetson watched Emma King walk down the road, get in her car and drive away. He watched the lights go out through Amanda's house, one by one. He imagined her walking through the rooms, a graceful flow in her step. When she wasn't being chased by bad guys she was pretty elegant, he thought.
He knew when she had readied herself for bed and finally arrived in the master suite. He saw the shadow of her form in the window -- a flow of material as she prepared for the long night. When the light went out he sighed heavily. Imagining her gliding softly between the sheets. Her head resting softly on the pillow, her body curled up in the fetal position -- she always slept that way. He used to sneak into bed and form his own body around hers after a late night of tactical meetings with Billy. "My Amanda," he whispered.
He sat there in the window through the night -- just watching the silent house and remembering countless moments when the only thing they worried about was which terrorist might be after them that day.
A scream woke him from a light sleep. He jumped from the chair. It was her scream. He'd heard it far too many times to mistake it. He ran through the house and across the street. Breaking down her door and rushing up the staircase to her bedroom.
A struggle had obviously taken place there. Yet there was no sign of her. "Amanda!" he yelled. No answer. He ran into the hallway. "Amanda!" He tried again. From below he heard her voice in response. "Lee!"
A masked intruder dragged her through the kitchen at gun point. Wrapping his hand around her mouth. He threatened, "You try that again and I'll shoot you right here."
Her eyes widened with fear. She tried with all the courage she could muster to remember agency training. She had been in this situation before. Unfortunately there were no avenues. He had bound her hands behind her. But Lee was here. She could swear she heard him calling to her. Or had she hallucinated?
The intruder continued to drag her towards the back door, but a voice interrupted his progress. "Hold it right there."
It was Lee. Amanda turned to see her savior. A site she would never forget, so often he had come to her rescue. Her eyes pleaded with him for help.
"Let her go," He said, his voice raspy with emotion.
The intruder laughed, "I think you know better than that." And he turned to reveal the gun he had pointed at the back of Amanda's head. "I have no problem killing her here." His voice was foreign, Iranian, Iraqi.. hard to place.
"What is this all about?" Lee asked. "Who sent you here?"
"You'll find out soon enough." The intruder laughed again. And Amanda tried to scream. But it was too late, Lee was knocked out cold by the butt of a pistol. The intruder had an accomplice. "Two for the price of one. This should be very pleasing indeed."
Amanda gazed down at Lee's crumpled body in shock. An all to familiar situation -- and strangely she had mixed feelings about it. She was scared stiff but at the same time, there was an odd level of comfort - being in peril with Lee. Like coming home, except they weren't going home. They were captive for the umpteenth time in their lives. A strangled whisper left her lips, "Oh my gosh."
To be continued…