TORCH CARRYING: DELIGHT

Disclaimer: This is a continuing series based on the characterizations created by J. Michael Strazynski. The intention is purely to further the interest in Babylon 5 and its characters, not to infringe on the rights of Mr. Strazynski or Babylonian Productions. The characters belong to them, the story is mine.

The Torch Carrying Series is rated: PG13

The first light of morning slowly began to trickle through the blinds into Susan Ivanova's temporary Minbari bedroom. Last night had been the most restful she had known in years and the pleasantness of that thought consumed her as she stretched and wiped the sleep from her eyes. Suddenly, mid-stretch, it occurred to her why last night had been so flawless. Marcus was alive.

That thought alone propelled her from her bed and into a mad rush to shower and dress. This was the first day of the rest of his life, and she was going to make sure each and every one was well spent. After all, he didn't have the kind of time left that he should. Last evening, after Steven finished doing his examination, he came to Ivanova to fill her in.

"He's good. Hell, for what he's been through, he's great. But that's not saying there aren't some deficits. While the cryo kept him suspended, not aging all these years, the affects of the machine have taken their toll." He looked up to Susan, who was listening hard, preparing for the worst. Steven didn't want to inflict more of the pain he had seen her go through twenty years ago, but he knew this was certainly going to sting a little. "The years that he..." he cleared his throat, "gave to you... they are gone for him. Much like John's situation, he won't live the normal life span of a healthy human male."

Susan took a deep breath, then asked the inevitable. "How much time?"

Ready with the response, he answered quickly. "Twenty-five, thirty years on the outside." He looked optimistic. "Susan, given everything... its really very good. He's lucky to be here. He can make the most of the time he has left, but..."

Susan laughed sardonically, "There had to be a but... there's always a but. What is it?"

"His activity... should be limited." He wasn't sure how to continue, and Ivanova gave him the break he needed to gather his thoughts.

"What sort of activity?" Her mind raced with possibilities ranging from bedrest to those of a more intimate nature.

On a nearby table, Steven spied Marcus' Ranger pike and pin. 'How appropriate', he thought. He picked up the pike and presented it to Susan. "This type, for one. It's going to be a bitter pill for him to take, but you've got to convince him to be inactivated from the Rangers. That type of action could kill him in less than a year."

This was solemn news for Susan as well. As she was preparing to accept the position of Ranger One, it was the thought of sharing that experience with him that made the offer so tempting. Without him -- it was simply another responsibility. "I see. Anything else I should know? Tell me everything."

"Well... I really don't know if this applies to you. I'm not sure that he'll ever be able to father children. There is no precedent I can find for this case. However, with Sheridan as an example, things are not hopeless."

Susan looks uncomfortable. "That's something, I think... I would feel more comfortable if you discussed it with him."

"Of course." He smiles slightly, understanding her embarrassment. "In general, all strenuous activity should be limited. Over exertion for any extended time will assuredly subtract time from his life span."

With a heavy sigh, Susan muttered, "This is not going to be easy."

As she dressed this morning, the thought occurred to her, perhaps Marcus could find a way to be useful while still maintaining his position with the Ranger's. Maybe in a more spiritual capacity? She knew his first love was to be a warrior, but -- exceptions would have to be made. She brushed the thought aside and now remembered Will.

Marcus will need to be told about everything -- his existence, his condition, his sacrifice. She dreaded this duty. It was not hard to imagine what his reaction would be, after all, she lived it twenty years ago.

She chided herself. This is the new Ivanova. Optimistic, confident, hopeful. At least, she hoped she could pull it off. She gazed at her reflection in the mirror. Abruptly, optimism and confidence had took a back seat to self consciousness and despair. "Old," she thought aloud. Certainly not the women he left behind, to what, in his mind, must seem like yesterday. *Sure, its easy when you don't want a man to be dazzled by your beauty -- why didn't you take advantage of it years ago?* She turned the mirror toward the wall. *Because you were too much of a damned jackass -- wallowing in the self-pity of misbegotten relationships.*

She smoothed her blouse and turned the mirror back around. "Not again. Not this time. I'll be his friend. I'll be his link to his past. Don't expect anything, but be open to everything Ivanova. God knows you're getting too old to play games."

With that, she walked purposefully out the door, in the general direction of the Minbari medical facility, but destined to end up -- only Valen knows where.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Standing outside Marcus Cole's room, Susan Ivanova gathered her composure. According to Steven, Marcus was doing well. Already trying to sit up and even once attempting to get out of bed. She would have to do a good job in relaying all the details of his condition and his brother's, without alarming him. She had a way of relaying bad news, didn't she? After all, she was the Voice of the Resistance. She could put a positive spin on anything.

When she opened the door and looked upon Marcus Cole -- all her well made plans flew out the window. The sight of him was even more exhilarating than it had been yesterday. Yesterday, she was shocked. Today, her heart skipped a beat.

Marcus was busy arguing with the Minbari medical technician -- as best he could with his still limited vocal capabilities. "The blasted beeps... are making the same noise they did... five minutes ago. Really... will you please put away those medieval -- torture devices -- and give me some peace?"

Gathering courage, Susan interjected. "Marcus, are you harassing the doctors?"

"Susan!" his face beamed at the sight of her. "You really were -- here. I wasn't -- dreaming... again."

Again? She would have to remember to ask him about that another time. "No. I'm here, and I understand you've been a bit of a difficult patient." Then to the technician she stated, "You can leave Mr. Cole to me now. I'll be sure he takes his medicine like a good boy."

The Minbari seems confused, but there is something about the tone and facial expression of this woman that tells him to do as he has been told. He leaves them to their privacy.

"Susan," again he smiles. "You have no idea how it -- feels. To see you... alive... well."

"You think?" She takes a place at his bedside. "Don't forget, you were all but dead until yesterday."

Marcus is a bit put back by the ease at which she sits so close to him. "I guess so. You thinking of filling me in? Or do I have to..."

"Hack through the computer system?" She finishes his sentence, already way ahead of him. "No, not this time."

"It is so good to see you. To sit with you." He looks at her hand, resting so close to his on the bed. Temptation tells him to take it, but instinct dictates otherwise.

This simple expression does not escape Susan. She knows he is expecting the hard-nosed Commander Ivanova, and she is hoping to prove that years have indeed softened her bite. Gathering her courage she takes his hand in hers. He looks up at her with surprise. The intimate contact brings the reality of the situation flooding in and a tear forms in her eye. He observes and with a great deal of effort raises his free hand to wipe it away.

"Susan?" he questions.

"I warned you, the years have made mush out of the Commander you knew and... " she awkwardly hesitates. "Well, at any rate - my appearance isn't the only thing that's changed."

Realizing her self-doubt, he quickly interjects, "You are still the most beautiful woman I have ever known."

Laughing to make the moment more bearable she jokes, "Yes, but you haven't been around long enough to make a qualified judgment."

"Are you married?" He immediately regrets asking the question so abruptly.

"No, I'm not married." She looks at their hands, laced together, and hesitantly proceeds. "No children, no pets. Just me and my General's title, war record and retirement gift. I've been too... busy for much else."

Marcus shakes his head sadly. "I must admit, part of me is glad to hear it. But, how sad for you General Ivanova. It is quite an impressive title. However, I had hoped you do something useful with the life I gave you." He is half joking, but she doesn't see the humor.

"Something useful? You mean like stopping a war, spearheading Alliance peace initiatives? That sort of thing?" She is angry.

"Of course. I didn't mean... you always knew what you wanted," he try to look to her eyes for a sign.

"And so did you," she answered. "If only you would have consulted a few of us, let us in on your grand scheme."

"About that..." he is eager for information. "How *did* I get... back?"

Still holding his hand, she continues. "That's a long story. I'm going to try to give it to you sraight Marcus, but I need some promises from you, OK?"

"I'll give it my best." He is intrigued, but concerned.

"I want better than that -- I want your word." She is dead serious.

He shakes his head in agreement. "In Valen's name."

That satisfies her and she proceeds. "Last week, I was on Mars, visiting a Ranger training facility and I was approached by a young man. He told me a wild story about how he had been in a similar situation to yours -- long thought dead, and recently revived. He insisted that Valen himself had sent him to find me, and that we were to use His plan to bring you out of your -- well to recover you. With Steven's help, and the help of some Minbari medical staff -- that's just what we did."

"Incredible," he states, still trying to take it all in. "And you say Valen himself sent him. A bit outlandish isn't it? Who is the fellow?"

Susan smiled weakly. "I thought it a little out there myself. But he sold me when he showed me an ancient parchment, signed by Valen -- the handwriting eerily familiar."

"Sinclair." He had thought it all along, and she apparently had too. "But you didn't mention the Ranger... the one who found you. How does he tie into all of this?"

Again she smiled, "You noticed, huh?" Gathering her nerve and looking for his strength, she goes on. "This is where I need you to remember - you gave me your word. No excitement. You'll stay calm, no matter what?"

"For heaven's sake -- is it all that terrible?" He is beginning to worry. "I'm fine, I'll remain perfectly still, just out with it already."

She shakes her head in agreement. "The Ranger who approached me, who brought me here, and who saved your life -- is Will."

The silence is deafening, as Marcus puts the pieces together in his head. "Will? I know your not doing this for dramatic affect, so you must mean -- but you can't mean -- William Cole, my brother, Will?"

"Stubborn, exasperating, sense of humor like a -- well, like you actually. Yes, I'd say he was definitely a relation of yours." She smiles for a minute, letting him enjoy the idea of his brother alive and well.

"How can it be?" His expression is a mixture of confusion and elation. "Will -- I was there, I held him in my arms."

She gathers his hand in closer. "Don't forget, there was a time, not too long ago -- try last week - - when I thought the same about you. It's him Marcus. He came to me. He saved your life."

The Ranger is a ball of energy -- what little he has in him is bubbling over. "Well where is he? Why don't you bring him in?" He stops himself -- realizing there's more to the story. "I guess you wouldn't have sworn me to be calm if the news was good."

Susan's expression is stoic, unchanging. Instantly he knows. "It is the same, isn't it? There's something in what you said -- about him saving me. About a time when you thought I was gone." Firmly he insists, "Where is my brother Susan?"

Placing a hand on each arm, she prepares him for the blow. "Steven was unsuccessful in using Will's plan to bring you out. There was nothing we could do. Will took off, upset -- we let him go -- thought he needed some time. It wasn't until later that Steven mentioned he had brought the machine to Minbar--"

"He's not-- He didn't--" Marcus weakly attempts to get up.

Susan easily subdues him. "You've got to calm down Marcus. You gave your word."

"The hell with my damned word. Where is Will? I want to see my brother." He tries to sit. "Surely you of all people, know what I'm capable of Susan. If you don't take me to him..."

Again, she restrains him. "He's alive Marcus, but he's catatonic. The machine drained him, almost completely. It wasn't on long enough to -- well, he's alive. But because of his previous near death experience, Steven is not sure he can regain consciousness."

"You're going to take me to him." Its more of a demand than a request.

Agreeing she says, "Yes. But not right now. Get stronger... you can't do him any good if you relapse. When the time is right, I promise I'll take you to him."

The pressure of her body over his is reassuring. He is weak and the weight of her is soothing. Relenting, his body relaxes. "I'll wait. You'll keep me updated?"

"I promise." She begins to ease off him gently.

With amazing speed for his condition, he raises a hand and holds her to him for a moment. "Thank you." He whispers. "For everything."

Unmoving, she replies. "Thank you... for everything." Feeling an uneasiness begin to build up inside her, she quickly rises and stands beside the bed. "I'll be back, after I've had a chance to talk to Steven and see Will. You'll be good?"

"I will. If you give me your word -- you'll come back soon."

His grin is infectious and she smiles back. "In Valen's name." With a quick kiss on the cheek she is out the door.

Once again, Marcus is taken off guard by her intimate gesture. He mutters to himself, "Just when you think you know a person."

The voice of Steven Franklin finishes the thought. "They say absence makes the heart grow fonder old friend."

"'To sleep, perchance to dream.' Maybe I've been sleeping and dreaming so long, some divine intervention has interceded?"

Steven puts a hand on Marcus' shoulder. "Dreams don't work that way -- but time does. Time heals all wounds. Even those as deep as Susan Ivanova's. You'll be surprised by her Marcus."

"I always have been Steven." He laughs gently. "I always have been." Then, looking to the doctor, he realizes he's got more news to contend with. "So I assume your here to tell me the rest of the story?"

Steven settles in, preparing to give Marcus the details of his recovery and therapy. He relays all the information, save the part about leaving the Rangers. That he will leave for the very tactful, soon-to-be, Ranger One.

Continue with Torch Carrying: Delight