Soon to have more NASCAR HUMOR, this should
be good to start you off. Remember, everything on this page are JOKES, I like and respect all
NASCAR competitors. NASCAR humor will be coming from all around the internet, such as homepages
(with credit), newsletters (with credit), and some of my own. I will also be asking YOU for your own NASCAR
humor, which, if I feel it is suitable, I will put it on this page with your name, email, and link to your
page (if you have one)! Just EMAIL ME your humor along with name and URL. Be sure to check back soon!!!
TOP 10: LAWS OF AUTO RACING
10) The number of times you get hit in a pileup is directly proportional to the number of times you said "I think it will go ok today".
9) You only get the lead when you need fuel.
8) If a tire can go on the wrong side, it will.
7) A part will never break during a test session, only during a race.
6) The driver behind you is always the one you punted last week.
5) The part you left at the shop is the one you need.
4) The number of laps remaining is always one more than the amount
of fuel left in the car.
3) Your good car will get wrecked, your bad car will finish the
race, two laps down.
2) The concrete wall is harder at the tracks you wreck at.
1) A 10-car pileup will never happen *behind* you!
After long and successful careers in Winston Cup, both Jeff Gordon and Ray Evernham passed on to glory. Upon arriving at Heavens gate they were greeted by arch angel Michael who happened to have two other guests approaching the three of them. Of course both Ray and Jeff could not help but notice one appeared to be the most beautiful woman they had ever seen while the other seemed as homely as any woman they had ever seen. Michael said Ray I need to tell you about your new driver before she gets here. Yes, Ray you get the ugly one because you see all though you were a caring father and a loving husband, you far to often, shall we say, bent the rules in setting up Jeff's car and your reward is an ugly driver. Jeff buts in with jubilance and says, Michael does this mean I get the pretty one as my crew chief? Well, Jeff she is a pretty one all right, but you need to understand this one thing. She cheated on her car setups too and well, she gets the ugly one!
TOP 10 REASONS EARNHARDT WON'T REPEAT AS WINSTON CUP CHAMP
10. Lets new crew chief Richard Simmons, experiment with burnin' Thighmaster suspension system on no.3
9. Diagnosed by Dr. Jerry Punch as having terminal"Concrete Lip" from way too much early season wall kissing
8. Decides to become celebrity gynecologist after receiving honorary doctorate from Kanapolis vo-tech
7. Pierces nipples to be twice as cool as Geoff Bodine
6. Goes broke with "Over Hel, Over Dale" satanic cap shops
5. D.Qed at Atlanta for having 400lbs. of extra weight in car- Benny Parsons also fined for
hitchhiking in Earnhardt's Chevy
4. Lets moustache grow to waist, tries to join ZZTop
3. Chevy replaces the Monte Carlo with the Corvair
2. Follows Morgan Shepherd around Sears Point, ends up in downtown L.A.
AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON EARNHARDT WON'T REPEAT AS WINSTON CUP CHAMP
1. Suspended by NASCAR for handing out cocktail
weanies claiming they were life sized replicas of the new champ!
TOP 10 REJECTED NAMES FOR THE NEW WINSTON CUP TRACK
10. "Slick City"
9. "Maryland Mamerow"
8.
"Daytuna"
7. "Humpywood"
6. "Gordonia"
5. "Buttkiss Glen"
4. "Pits Burg"
3. "Wrecked-em-World"
2. "Kickin' Assphalt"
AND THE NUMBER 1 REJECTED NAME FOR THE NEW WINSTON CUP TRACK
1. "Willie Nelson's
Weed-n-Speedway"
All from Winstongal Newsletter
