Poems For Our Four Legged Ones

If you require a puppy That isn't noisy and doesn't chew, Who won't pee on the carpet, or one who Will never shed or make a mess, And Will never bite under severe duress, There's only one breed that will bring you joy, It's a Plush Stuffed Toy! -Anon

MOVING", that's the reason I was dumped at the shelter originally. The word still makes me tremble. I had lived with my family ever since I was born. I still remember my spot on their bed and playing ball with the kids. At the shelter, the other dogs growled and barked at me. The staff did not give me a nice bed to sleep on. I was given a light blanket, some food, and a concrete floor I waited for my owners to come and take me back home Surely this was only temporary. I was their baby they told me so. But my loving family never came back. "YOU NEED ROOM TO RUN", was the second reason I was returned to the shelter. My heart sank. I had just adjusted to the brand new life and had grown to love my new family. What good is room to run without your best friend? Once again, a family turned their backs on me. This time, the shelter was an easier place to be. It wasn't as scary. The staff and routine were familiar and although I wasn't sleeping at the foot of the bed, I knew they loved me. "SEPERATION ANXIETY", is the reason I'm back again. I became so afraid of being abandoned that I destroyed things in the house trying to find my people when they went out. Can you blame me? I'm only 4 years old and have had three different homes already. The only people who have been loyal to me are the people here at the shelter. That's why I'll never leave here again. It's too hard on my heart. "BITING", is the reason I'm scheduled to be euthanized tomorrow. I've been deemed unadoptable. I only snapped because I was scared . . . I would never have truly hurt anyone. Anyways, good, that's exactly what I wanted. The only people who have ever truly loved me are here at the shelter. If I can't live here, then I don't want to live at all. I'm a little afraid to die because just maybe, tomorrow is the day my family will come back for me. Most likely though, it isn't. They probably don't even think about me anymore and won't even realize that as they are playing ball with their new puppy, I will be taking my last breath. - Author Unknown

There is a formula for figuring out how bed space is allocated. It is called the "Foot Rule". You start by determining the total number of feet (as in those at the end of the legs, not the kind made up by inches). Then you divide that total by the number of feet belonging to the person(s) or dog(s) in question. This is how it works: You and husband share your bed with 1 dog. You and your husband total 4 feet and the dog also has 4 feet. That is a total of 8 feet. The dog has 4 out of 8 feet or 50%, therefore, the dog gets 50% of the bed. You could work this in reverse as well. You have 2 out of 8 feet or 25% and so does your husband, so each of you gets 25% and the dog gets 50%. Now I have 5 dogs. At 4 feet per dog, that is 20 feet. Add to that my 2 feet and we have a total of 22 feet in the bed. I have 2 out of 22 feet which is 1/11th or 9.1% of the bed. The dogs, since they share a total of 20 of 22 feet, get 10/11ths or 90.9% of the bed. Simple isn't it?! Once I figured out my percent of the bed space, the next step was to work out the exact area that I am entitled to. My bed is a California King which is approximately 6 ft x 7 ft. Here is the math: 6 ft x 7 ft = 42 square feet 42 square feet = 6048 square inches 9.1% of 6048 = 550 square inches 550 square inches = 45.8 total inches 45.8 inches = 3.8 total feet In order to determine the exact size of my bed space, I needed to know the percentage of length to width - this comes out to 54% long to 46% wide. When I apply these percentages to my spot: 550 square inches x 54% = 297 square inches 550 square inches x 46% = 253 square inches 297 square inches = 24.7 inches 253 square inches = 21.1 inches 24.7 inches = 2.1 feet 21.1 inches = 1.8 feet. Now that the math is all done, the figures show that the dimensions of my part of the bed are 2.1 feet by 1.8feet or in other words: I GET THE PILLOW!!! - Anonymous

Please help! After two long years of being on a waiting list for an exotic rare breed dog, we were finally notified by the breeder that at long last, our number has come up, and... WE'RE HAVING A PUPPY! We must IMMEDIATELY get rid of our children now, because we just KNOW how time consuming our new little puppy is going to be! Since our puppy will be arriving on Monday, we MUST place the children in new homes this weekend!!! They are described as: One male, white, blonde hair, blue eyes. Four years old. Excellent disposition. He doesn't bite. Name is Tommy. Temperament tested. Current on all shots. Tonsils removed already and very healthy condition! Tommy eats everything, is very clean, house trained and gets along well with others. Does not run with scissors and with a little time and training,he will do well in a new home. One female, strawberry blonde hair, green eyes. Three years old. Can be surly at times. Non-biter, thumb sucker. Her name is Mary. Temperament tested, but needs a little attitude adjusting occasionally. She is current on all shots, tonsils out, and is very healthy and happy (mostly.) Gets along well with little boys, but does not like to share toys. She is house trained, and would do best in a one child household. We really LOVE our children, and want to do what is best for them. I hope you understand, that ours is a UNIQUE situation, and we have a real emergency here! They MUST be placed by Sunday night at the latest. - Anonymous

They will not go quietly, the dogs who've shared our lives. In subtle ways they let us know their spirit still survives. Old habits still make us think we hear a barking at the door.Or step back when we drop a tasty morsel on the floor. Our feet still go around the place the food dish used to be, And, sometimes, coming home at night, we miss them terribly. Although time may bring new friends and a new food dish to fill, That one place in our hearts belongs to them...and always will. (Linda Barnes)

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?" Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me every day. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me." And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself." And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal." And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG." And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail. After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but perhaps too well." And God said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not always worthy of adoration." And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility. And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved And Dog was happy. And the cat didn't give a shit one way or the other. - Anonymous

The Secret to living with Bull Terriers is to expect the unexpected. When you think that you have experienced EVERYTHING that can possible happen. Think again? Always imagine the worst situation that can occur and it will probably happen True...There are MANY mellow bullies out there but TWICE as many that will tax the mind relative as to what they can get into next. Just when you think that everything is safe and puppy proof, a freak accident will occur and damage will be done.

1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans. 2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours. 3. be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers. 4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you. It is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know. 4a. - don't pee on the tree. 4b. - don't drink the water in the container that holds the tree. 4c. - mind your tail when you are near the tree. 4d. - if there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip them open. 4e. - don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny looking hole in the wall to the tree. 5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of stranger to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part: 5a. - not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans. 5b. - don't eat off the buffet table. 5c. - beg for goodies subtly. 5d. - be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa. 5e. - don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach. 6. Like-wise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important: 6a. - observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people's houses. (4a ia particulary important). 6b. - respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house. 6c. - tolerate children. 6d. - turn on your charm big time. 7. A BIG man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night.

DO NOT BITE HIM!!!!

- Anonymous

Unlike most days at Rainbow Bridge, this day dawned cold and gray, damp as a swamp and as dismal as could be imagined. All of the recent arrivals had no idea what to think, as they had never experienced a day like this before. But the animals who had been waiting for their beloved people knew exactly what was going on and started to gather at the pathway leading to The Bridge to watch. It wasn't long before an elderly animal came into view, head hung low and tail dragging. The other animals, the ones who had been there for while, knew what his story was right away, for they had seen this happen far too often. He approached slowly, obviously in great emotional pain, but with no sign of injury or illness. Unlike all of the other animals waiting at The Bridge,this animal had not been restored to youth and made healthy and vigorous again. As he walked toward The Bridge, he watched all of the other animals watching him. He knew he was out of place here and the sooner he could cross over, the happier he would be. But, alas, as he approached The Bridge, his way was barred by the appearance of an Angel who apologized, but told him that he would not be able to pass. Only those animals who were with their people could pass over Rainbow Bridge. With no place else to turn to, the elderly animal turned towards the fields before The Bridge and saw a group of other animals like himself, also elderly and infirm. They weren't playing, but rather simply lying on the green grass, forlornly staring out at the pathway leading to The Bridge. And so, he took his place among them, watching the pathway and waiting. One of the newest arrivals at The Bridge didn't understand what he had just witnessed and asked one of the animals that had been there for a while to explain it to him. "You see, that poor animal was a rescue. He was turned in to rescue just as you see him now, an older animal with his fur graying and his eyes clouding. He never made it out of rescue and passed on with only the love of his rescuer to comfort him as he left his earthly existance. Because he had no family to give his love to, he has no one to escort him across The Bridge." The first animal thought about this for a minute and then asked, "So what will happen now?" As he was about to receive his answer, the clouds suddenly parted and the gloom lifted. Approaching The Bridge could be seen a single person and among the older animals, a whole group was suddenly bathed in a golden light and they were all young and healthy again, just as they were in the prime of life. "Watch, and see.", said the second animal. A second group of animals from those waiting came to the pathway and bowed low as the person neared. At each bowed head, the person offered a pat on the head or a scratch behind the ears. The newly restored animals fell into line and followed him towards The Bridge. They all crossed The Bridge together. "What happened?" "That was a rescuer. The animals you saw bowing in respect were those who found new homes because of his work. They will cross when their new families arrive. Those you saw restored were those who never found homes. When a rescuer arrives, they are allowed to perform one, final act of rescue. They are allowed to escort those poor animals that they couldn't place on earth across The Rainbow Bridge." - Anonymous

My family brought me home cradled in their arms. They cuddled me and smiled at me and said I was full of charm. They played with me and laughed with me and showered me with toys. I sure do love my family, especially the girls and boys. The children loved to feed me, they gave me special treats. They even let me sleep with them -- all snuggled in the sheets. I used to go for walks, often several times a day.They even fought to hold the leash, I'm very proud to say. These are the things I'll not forget -- a cherished memory. I now live in the shelter-without my family. They used to laugh and praise me when I played with that old shoe. But I didn't know the difference between the old ones and the new. The kids and I would grab a rag, for hours we would tug. So I thought I did the right thing when I chewed the bedroom rug. They said that I was out of control, and would have to live outside. This I did not understand, although I tried and tried. The walks stopped, one by one; they said they hadn't time. I wish that I could change things, I wish I knew my crime. My life became so lonely, in the backyard, on a chain. I barked and barked all day long to keep from going insane. So they brought me to the shelter but were embarrassed to say why. They said I caused an allergy, and then they each kissed me good-bye. If I'd only had some classes, as a little pup. I wouldn't have been so hard to handle when I was all grown up. "You only have one day left." I heard the worker say. Does that mean I have a second chance? DO I GO HOME TODAY? - Anomyous

ANGULATION - Degree to which dog handlers will bend over backwards to impress the judges. BALANCE - How to arrange the checkbook so your spouse won't know how much money you spent on dog shows last month. Usually done in the bathroom with the door locked. BITCH - A. Name for a lady dog. B. Name often overheard at dog shows, not always to describe a lady dog. COAT - The hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out about one week before the Specialty show. DAM - A. A lady dog with children. B. Expression frequently overheard at dog shows as losers leave the ring. ELBOW - Method of getting to ringside when late. EXPRESSION - "Sweet" look adopted by dogs while staring ravenously at chunks of liver. FANCIER - Degree to which some gentlemen handlers dress more than others. FEATHERING - What winners are accused of doing to judges' nests. FRONT - Part of the dog often stacked toward the outside of the ring. HEEL - A. You feel like when your dog beats the one you had just sold to an eager novice. B. Expression often screamed to attract the attention of deaf dogs. HEIGHT - As in "Maximum Allowed," a measurement which all champions fall under by AT LEAST 1/8 inch. HOCK - A way of financing your dog shows by the use of jewelry such as wedding rings. KENNEL - Where you go when the kids fight and your spouse yells at you. LITTER - Trash left all over the building and parking lot after a dog show. MUZZLE - What to put on your kids at a dog show to prevent them from calling your competition what they overheard you call him last night. NOSEPRINTS - Cute marks left all over your French doors. OUTCROSSING - What your spouse tells the minister what you are doing out in the kennel with the dog and the bitch. POINTS - Minute, invisible awards for winning which you cannot convince your spouse are more important than cash prizes. PUPPIES - Small, dog like food-processing machines with the ability to stink up an entire house and collectively deafen a band of magpies (These creatures have not yet been perfected, as they come with a leaky system, and can also be dangerous to weak hearts and bank accounts) - Anomyous

Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to the Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor, those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content... except for one small thing they each miss someone very special, someone who was left behind. They all run and play together... but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly he breaks from the group, flying over the green grass, faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face.. your hands again caress the beloved head ~ you look once more into those trusting eyes, so long gone from your life, but never ~ absent ~ from your heart. Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together... *Author Unknown*