I'll be the first to admit that I do not have a knack for writing poetry. So until I feel enlightened and especially gifted in writing verse, this area is going to remain void and blank - strikingly similar to my love life... but that's another story...
This poem needs a lot of work, but I felt as if I should have at least some poetry in this section.
Love of My Life
I can't sleep
Yet I swear to You
This is all a dream.
Beyond my control
it's gotten out of hand.
I'd give anything
To help You understand
That idle glances are empty
And I'm sick of all the games.
I'd give anything to be with You
If only I knew Your name.
"Bittersweet Closure"
It can’t be, I tell
myself as you walk away
with I’m sorry on your lips.
You couldn’t have kissed me
Our last and final kiss.
You shouldn’t have held on
So tightly if you never
Intended to stay.
I find you in my dreams,
And I beg of you to
Just stay with me tonight.
I know you must still care.
Just hold me, this moment
Doesn’t need to ever end.
I awaken, alone
Longing for so much more
Than the comfort I find
In your company.
You were not left behind -
You left me long ago.
Looking back I feel your
Pain was hidden, inflicting
Me, helpless to your ploy.
I saw only the man
I needed you to be.
Unaffected by the
Distance now so abruptly
Placed between us, for your
Joy was all too apparent.
Relief – did it always
Outweigh the loneliness?
But I could not even feign relief
My grief took center stage.
With a numb heart I could not
Feel the thorn lodged in me.
Minutes passed by, and hours
Too, until days were gone.
Now since one month passed by
I find I do not miss
Your kisses on my lips,
But the eyes that mirrored
The person I wanted to be.
Where did she go – I see
Nothing of the person
I remembered me to
Be. Perhaps this allows
Me to avoid the image
Of myself - apart from you.
Realizing that we
Have no future together,
I long for a moment
Of the past happiness
That haunts my dreams at night.
One last kiss, one look back,
Into eyes that reflected
A fire within, all
Too soon extinguished by
The reality we
Fought so hard to escape.
But I cannot have just
One last kiss, for one would
Never satisfy my
Desire for the man
I thought I needed in
My world, in my heart.
Fulfill my one desire
By looking in my eyes.
One last look will suffice
And mend the wounds that time
Could never reach. One look,
To bring our story to an end.
One look, to know that what
You saw never abandoned
The person that I have
Always been.
One look, to
Know that you saw me for
More than who I tried to be.
To know you realized
That behind the façade
Lies the girl you wanted
From the first words we spoke,
To the static ending
When ties were severed. Maybe
Our goodbye is forever,
But to know that you could see
The person I truly
Am, outside of who I
Wanted you to see,
Would be bittersweet closure.
I scream so loudly hoping
To drown out your voice,
Echoing doubts and resounding lies.
Honestly you drive me crazy
Honestly I like the distance you’ve
Set between us, makes it easier
For me to forget.
I’ve put aside the feelings
Dealing with the visions I hate
Reflections of a closer time
When you weren’t so scared, so weak
When you didn’t think so much
I hate the way you think, I love the
Way you feel, the way those eyes
Made me feel alive, only to later
Haunt me, asking for forgiveness.
I’ve forgiven and forgotten,
Letting go of kisses, missing how
You made me feel.
Not now, but later, you say in your kind way
But your lies don’t abate rejection
Affectionately I’m your friend
Rejected as anything more, I stand by
And wonder what I was looking for
In someone who knew they liked my kisses
But feared the sensation of wanting more.
