*Big Ash the starting center for the Brooks Team has been suspended for 2 games for making a remark to coach Cruciani.
*Andrew Smith the shooting coach has reported that Big Ash has lost her shooting touch. Andrew says "Big Ash is not living up to her potential". Andrew recently helped Bryan Jackson with his free throws. Bryan went 9/10 last game.
*Vince Cruciani has been told by J. to start Ken Rought at center.
*Ken Rought will start next game.
*Chris Phillips our team trainer has had oral sex with Lazy Eye Kim. Coach Cruciani is still deciding if Kim will be suspended.
*J. scored his 100,000th point Thusday with their win over the Comets 135-67. J. exploded with 82 points. Cruciani was ejected from that game because he tripped the ref. Mike Frankel took over and did a good job. Chris Yi was the high scorer for the Comets with 29 points. Moher had 22 rebounds for the Comets.
*Kevin Ayers needs 31 points to score 50,000 for his carrer. Amy Dingo needs 12 steals to move to second all time in steals behind J.
*Jeff Cianni reportedly is recruiting 6'0 Bob Misura. Jeff says " Bob is a great all-around player and has a large penis." Remember when Jeff recruited J. two years ago? Everyone remebers that day.
*Andrew Smith and Coach Cruciani reportedly got into an argument at practice Wendsday. They were arguing about how many points J. will score next game.
*Ron Mitter was reportedly caught masterbating on the bench Thursday night in the win.
*Chris Moher and Mark Elwell were severly beaten up last Friday by Garret Silva. Moher said that Garret had no leg power. Garret then kicked Moher through the scorer's table. Garret was fined 250,000 for his actions.
*Their has been talk that team owner Josh Bontrager slept with Mel Barth. A majority of the Brooks team don't like Josh as Owner.
*Two weeks ago J.Brooks, Kevin Ayers, Garret Silva, and Ron Mitter were named to the All World Team.
*NEWS FLASH- This report just in, after Thursday nights practice in the parking lot JBROOKS was caught red handed in the parking lot with the infamous lazy eye KIM. Many reports have said that lazy eye KIM had to open the other eye to see JBROOKS enormusly large PENIS. Kim comented that, "It was the biggest penis I've ever seen! JBROOKS has reported that it was one of the best dick suckings he's ever had, but he alegidly has caughten the STD's gonerea, herpies, and syphills from lazy eye KIM! JBROOKS has cured himself with his amazing powers.
The other night Chris Phillips our team trainer had sex with Lazy Eye Kim. Chris said " It was the best sex I ever had".
Chad Kidwell reportedly sucked Ken McPherson's dick last Sunday.
Heather reportedly making sexual gestures to Kenny McPherson last Thursday. Heather said "I will never play cards again!"
Their have been reports that Josh Bontrager and Jeff Cianni signed 6'0 Bob Misura.
Bryan Jackson has been put on the injured list after J. hit him at practice Tuesday. J. says " Bryan wasn't following Andrew's order's." Later that night Andrew kicked the shit out of Bryan for not listening.
The All Brooks team beat the Sped's last night 172-159. J. scored 102 points in the win. J. says "I really had to step up my game a notch because we were going up against Juggernaut and Grizzly." Juggernaut had 45 points and 21 boards. Grizzly added 30 and 14 boards. Kevin Ayers had 40 points and Garret chipped in 26. Now The All Brooks Team is 53-0. They have a tough game ahead against the Sped's Dad's. Watch out for Grizzly's Dad.
NEWS FLASH KEVIN AYERS HAS REPORTEDLY GONE TO REDBARN VILLAGE TO PLAY IN THE TOURNAMENT.
TIM OMALLEY AND MIKE ROWE WILL REF IN THE TOURNEY!!
First Round Scores
All Brooks 125 Mexicans 94
Lunch Ladies 101 Filopeno's 106
PuertoRicans 79 Ny Speds 72
Nj Speds 102 County Jail 84
Comets 104 Prep 68
Janitors 87 50 & Older 79
ABL Champs 60 Ny Liberty 77
England Team 85 LA Speds 111
All World 132 Mario & Libraians 113
Constance D. 60 Newton Fire Fighters 82
All Brooks Reserves 124 CNS 53
Latrell Sprewell 102 P.J. Carlisimo 46
Commies 71 Zimbabwae Stars 107
Scranton Homeless 93 Miami Hispanic 78
LA Clippers 83 Clrks. Sum. Police 74
Degeneration X 103 Nwo 100
All Speds 98 Ny Playground 92
Youth Center 78 Denver Nuggets 75
Euro Sped's 104 Villanova 96
Michael Jackson 37 Jerry Kid's 63
ABB 89 Tool and Friends 126
All Eygptians 114 All Iraq 88
All Cuban 73 All Homosexual 97
Radio Club 74 United Garbagemen 81
All Sped's Dad's 103 Harlem Globtrotters 101
La Sparks 73 Dream Team2 106
Red Barn Village 132 Chester 63
NACCP 104 KKK 59
Inbred's of America 102 Mail Men 70
JCC B-Ball 72 Ecology Club 63
Army 75 Navy 80
Okun Family 107 Cast of SNL 81
All Brooks Team Roster
