Schultz is the main guard at Stallag 13, and seems to work almost 24 hrs. a day. Schultz always says that "In war, I do not like to take sides!", and usually claims to "know nothing". That changes, however, when the chocolate from the Red Cross packages or some of LeBeau's cooking is involved! Hogan has found that the best way to keep Schultz from suspecting anything is to tell him the truth, which Schultz usually finds so ridiculous, he never bothers to report it. He's loveable and gullable, for example, Newkirk told Schultz that he always thought achtung meant good morning, Schultz believed him, started using achtung for good morning, and corrected anyone when they used it correctly! Schultz's measurements: Neck is 19 1/2", waist is 52", chest and hips is "same as my waist" (thanks for finding this, email@example.com!).
"I know nothing, I see nothing, and I say nothing!"
"Is that chocolate?"
"Oh, he makes the best pigs' feet! He covers them in butter, then he takes a little bit of basil, and a little bit of oregano, and a little bit of . . ."
"Colonel Hogan, if you ever escape, be a good fellow and take me with you." submitted by Andy
"Jolly jokers!" submitted by Andy
"On some occasions I look the other way because in war I do not like to take sides..." submitted by Shawn
"Oh boy. No matter what we do, we can never win a war." Submitted by firstname.lastname@example.org
"Oh! It's a button! And it says us!" Submitted by Andy
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