Message To Guys (From Us Girls)

 1)  Yes, we do discuss our sex lives with our girl
 friends so beware. We have the power to make you
 legendary or a vienna sausage.
 
 2)  Don't compare my talking with girlfriends to the
 cackling of hens.  It is called communication...look
 into it.
 
 3)  When getting dressed always choose the opposite
 outfit that your instincts tell you to choose.
 Contrary to popular male belief....others can see
 that you are wearing one blue sock and one black sock.
 
 4)  If you mother did things so well then why not
 move back in with her? She can do your laundry, and I
 will just borrow you when I need sex.
 
 5)  Yelling at me from across the house sounds just
 like one of the kids, so, yes, I am ignoring you.
 
 6)  We women would be perfectly happy to wear no
 makeup, have flat hair and hairy legs. It is you who
 expect us to look like a supermodel so do not
 complain that it takes time.
 
 7)  Do not assume that we are the keepers of all lost
 things.  Sometimes we do not immediately know where
 you put your smelly jogging shoes or the keys to the
 shed.
 
 8)  If you expect us to be responsible for birth
 control products, stop whining when we get all
 grouchy cause the hormones in them can send us to the
 friggen moon.
 
 9)  And when you get "that time of the month," you
 can then start telling me how I should be acting and
 feeling.
 
 10)  And finally, we can and have given birth to
 something the size of a watermelon.  It hurts!  So do
 not come to us complaining about your wimpy headache
 or stomach ache or ear ache.  Just get over it.