You won't find THIS in the FM 21-20!
(formation)
Good morning, Blue Mountain Batallion!
Good morning, Sergeant!
Let's start off this morning's PT with a loud and thunderous platoon motto! Platoon, attention!
If we can't kill it, it's immortal!
Present - arms! (platoon holds out arms)
Present - legs!
You do the hokey-pokey and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about (clap clap)
At ease. Platoon, attention! Sashay to the left - prance! Left face! Pontificate to the left, move! Right face! From front to rear, count off! (count off) Even numbered ranks 1 3/8 step to the left, uncover! Odd numbered ranks, about face! (pirouette) The person to your right will be your partner for the partner-assisted exercises, hence the term "partner-assisted." Can you say "partner-assisted?" ...I knew you could.
Our warm-up this morning will be 30 seconds of silly-walking in place. Ready - begin! (cadets begin silly-walking; plt sgt takes one aside)
Cadet, now you are just not being silly enough. What if Private Snuffy was silly walking during one morning's PT session, and saw his platoon leader not being as silly as he possibly could? Now put some effort into it!
And relax. The first stretch will be - the Sun Salutation!
The Sun Salutation!
East face! Starting positions - move! And salutate! (dawn simulator)
Relax.
Thank you!
The next stretch will be the partner-assisted vrksam!
The partner-assisted vrksam!
Odd-numbered ranks, about face! Starting positions - move! And grow!
Relax.
Thank you!
The first exercise will be - the jumping jack!
The jumping jack!
In cadence!
In cadence!
Begin! (up to 5)
The next exercise will be - the vertical torso hoist!
The vertical torso hoist!
In cadence!
In cadence!
Begin. (up to 5) On your feet! The next exercise will be - the Time Warp!
The Time Warp!
At your command, begin.
(Platoon whips out Rocky Horror-style sunglasses/ other appropriate apparel) It's just a jump to the left...
And then a step to the right!
Put your hands on your hips...
And pull your knees in tight!
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane.
Let's do the Time Warp again!
Let's do the Time Warp again!
Recover. (all props from exercise are suddenly removed from sight)
We're now going to go outside for a cadence conga line, so grab your reflective sombreros and form up outside.
(Will come up with parody on song or traditional cadence)
Good workout today, Blue Mountain. Form a graphical representation of the function y=cosx + 1, where x is less than 3 but greater than the opposite of 3, with myself as the origin, for a cool-down. (platoon forms a semi-circle around plt sgt)
The first stretch will be - the Mantra Meditation!
The Mantra Meditation!
Starting positions - move! Ready - meditate! Thousand...
One...
Thousand...
One...
Thousand...
One...
The next stretch will be - Savasana!
SAVASANAAA!
Starting positions - move! Ready -begin! (complete silence for a few seconds)
On your feet! Let's end this invigorating PT session with a loud and thunderous platoon motto. Platoon, attention!
If we can't kill it, it's immortal!
Dismissed.
