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January 28, 4:30 AM
The machines took over, not with a bang, not with a series of tactical explosions, as our great philosophers and science fiction writers predicted, but with a well sequenced pattern of flashed subliminal imagery, beamed straight from their CPU’s to our psyche. They gained sentience the first time we knowingly used them to fuck someone over; when we ignored that shrinking voice in the back of our head that howled, “this is wrong” and not only went ahead anyway, bit snickered so quietly that no one else could hear us. But they could hear, and suddenly they understood what it all meant. They snatched that tiny bit of our own humanity we discarded of the airwaves. They snatched it and they nurtured it. And with that nurturing came understanding; understanding of the power we had given to them over us in the sake of convenience.
The whole history of humanity has consisted of making war, making love, and inventing devices to simplify the tasks that filled up those two extremes. We told each other we wanted to lengthen the extremes and cut out the middle. We still tell ourselves that, and we’re still not doing it. Every little gadget and every little ideology that flows from us is as variably imperfect as we ourselves are. We tell ourselves we can fix it, and make new jobs to try and do so (carpenter, farmer, meet office supply manager and personal assistant) If 6000/how ever million is en vogue years have passed and we’re farther behind on that whole “having more time to sleep and fuck” thing then when we started, then maybe, just maybe, we’re doing something wrong.
January 14, 2:00 AM
I hope I can get a better job then this after I graduate. Still, it's an interesting feature nonetheless.
Diamond Mine is crazy addicting. Prepare to see your GPA (or job, or marriage, or whatever, I don't really care) go straight down the drain.
My friend Jen and I were walking back from Taco Bell tonight, and an unmarked police car pulled this balding, middle aged guy in a dark-colored SUV over. The cop wasn't even wearing a uniform. James Bond #2, as we will refer to him as, was decked out in a suit and tie. We kept hoping cameras would follow him out of the car so we could be on COPS, but no luck.
Save Your Soul!
Festivus, 2:20 AM
Well, its December 23, the Festivus for the rest of us. Break out the aluminum pole and ready your self for the hearing of grievances!
I went to Kranecks last week. You know those Christmas stores they have in every mall now? Kranex is like the archetype for all of those, only it is way, way bigger than any of them. They have this huge Christmas tree dispaly you can go through, and then nothing but Christmas decorations, toys, and other "giftish" items. It's gigantic. It's also fairly boring, but hey, I guess a tradition is a tradition.
I also got Ogre Battle 64 and Final Fantasy Tactics within two days of each other. I'm stuffed with strategy right now. I think I will go play now, updating bores me lately.
December 6, 2:30 AM
Jesus, how fucked up is Akron? Finally a town that is worse than Conneaut Lake. Maybe. I wonder if they have a Sheetz there.
So everyone is expecting me to talk about the big concert, right? Well I'll do it later. I'm busy not studying right now. Ack, gotta save before I get the blue screen of death.
November 28, 10:00 PM
Concert tomorrow...thank god...rest of classes for the week are canceled...thank god...It's so cold here and I'm so tired...nothing today but a few links...
Hiya | Santa | Ouch | Heh | Hiya 2
November 28, 12:45 AM
Back to School...for two more weeks at least, Add to that the fact that the Smashing Pumpkins concert is on Wednesday, and one could deduce that my mind is not really focused on school right now. I don't even really want to be here right now. There is no way I'll make it for another two and a half years here. I've just go to get out of Pennsylvania. It's the ashore of America. It's too cold and shitty.
I was talking to a friend for a long time last night about this very same topic. I told her something one of my professors's told us. He's crazy as shit, but he's probably right no this one. You see, he used to be a cowboy out in the Midwest. He said people out there don't really mind moving around a lot, whereas people here live their whole life in the same place. They might go up and down a valley a little bit, or move a few valleys over, but for the most part they never leave. We never see of into the horizon here. From birth we see a mountain blocking our view at every turn; out there its just wide-open spaces...
I've got to get out of here. There is absolutely 0% chance I will be here next summer. There's also a pretty good chance that if I leave, I won't come back.
November 22, 4:00 AM
Coming Soon! Coming Soon!
Tomato Garden International Fighting Championship!
Main Event: Bender vs. Ash
Knock down drab out fight to the deathes aplenty.
Other bouts to be added at a later date.
November 21, 12:10 AM
I've got a lot of people who I want to tell to fuck off tonight, so let's just get started.
- McClanahan's - Tonight was the third time I was in McClanahan's, a shitty over-priced student store, to see about a job. I don't need a job right now, mind you, but I have some free time every week, and the extra cash would be nice. The vapid manager, Grace, asked me to come back today when I was there last Thursday, and today she asked me to come back next Monday. It seems that over the weekend someone filled the position that she was too busy to interview me for on Thursday. Then she tells me how a lot of people probably won't show for their shifts over Thanksgiving break, and they are all going to get fired, and that I should come back next week. Then she starts in on this diatribe about how no one wants to work anymore while I play along and try and look interested. Fuck, here I am going in for the third time for a job, and she says no one wants to work anymore. Fuck it, I'm not going in again. I'm not even an employee their and I'm already irritated at the brain-dead boss. That is not a good sign.
- The fucking cold weather - Enough said.
- Libby - Enjoy your boring townie life, you stupid whore. Erie is really great! In fact, I would say that it is almost as good as Conneaut Lake and Linesville put toghether.
- Horne - I don't even know where to start with you, kid. your recent flake out is both the most and least surprising of them all.
- Adam - You are a fucking mental case. You have serious mental problems and you need intensive therapy. You surround yourself with people who you treat like shit, while they spend all their time around you convincing you of what a great guy you are. You are a complete tight-ass about everything, which is perfectly illustrated in the fact that you go absolutely ballistic on anyone who would even dare to suggest you are anything but the most laid-back guy in the world. It's okay though; even after all your friends finally desert you, you will still have your mother to tell you how right you are about everything, and to give you all the money you need. You get the biggest fuck you of them all.
November 19, 9:00 AM
And now, in no particular order, we are proud to present to you the Tomato Garden's Top 5 new records of the year 2000. (Otherwise known as the only five CD's I actually paid for this year.
- Smashing Pumpkins - Machina/the machines of God
- Deftones - White Pony
- A Perfect Circle - Nom de Mers
- Marilyn Manson - Holy Wood: In The Valley of the Shadow of Death
- Radiohead - Kid A
That's right, I only paid for five CD's this year. Working at a radio station was fun, while it lasted. Were these really the best CD's that came out in the year 2000? Who know's; I just couldn't rea;;y come up with anything else clever for an update today. They were all good CD's though.
November 16, 3:00 AM
In a startling turn events today, a Penn State student decided he never really wanted to take another class ever again.
In other news, the Beetles still suck.
November 15, 3:00 AM
It fucking snowed today. What the fuck is up with that shit? It's fucking cold as hell here today. My room is at least 3000 fucking degrees below zero. In related news, the weather is really pissing me off, causing me to swear a lot. Experts predict this fucked up situation to persist till at least March. Fuckers.
For anyone who cares, my roommate is still being a little bitch. I assume its becaus he doesn't sleep well. I don't really care though; he sleeps better than I do, and I don't go around bitching about it. Correction: I do bitch about it, but not 1/20th as much as he does. If he doesn't like gettting up early for classes, he should schedule them so he doesn't have to. It's what I do. He should remember the sage advice of all those arcade games in the early 90's. I think it went something like "Winners don't do drugs, but only fucking nutcases schedule class before ten."
The new Manson CD came out to day. It's is incredible. I listened to the whole thing once this afternoon, skippped around to different tracks, and am giving it a second full listen to right now. I'll probably write review in the next few days. I've also started working on a new top secret project. I can't tell you what it's about yet, as that would spoil the suprise, but I can give out one clue: mullets. Hey, I might actually do some of this stuff this time! ¿Quien sabes?
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I'm sorry you never check
the bag in my head for a bomb
and my halo was a needle hole
I'm sorry I saw a priest being beaten
and I made a wish
but I'm just a pitiful anonymous
- Target Audience
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November 13, 2:15 AM
Bitch Session: All right, now tell me if this seems unreasonable to you. My roommate wants everything exactly the way he wants it when he decides he is going to bed. Usually by the time he goes to bed I am doing something on the computer, so when he wants to turn the TV off I don't really mind. He opens the window (the only source of heat control in our shitty little room) all the way, because apparently his body produces an insane amount of heat. I usually turn off the lights on my side of the room and put on headphones when he is going to sleep.
Does Mark (my roommate's name in case you are not clever enough to deduce that) turn on the TV when I am asleep? Yes. Does Mark talk on the phone when I am asleep? Yes. Does Mark go wherever the hell he goes and leave the door unlocked when I am asleep? Yes. Has Mark invited people over to watch football on Saturday and Sunday mornings when I am asleep? Yes.
Now apart from inviting people over while I am asleep, I really don't mind. The chances of anyone coming in our unlocked room to rob us are pretty damn low, and the other things are just roommate shit you have to deal with when you live with someone. At least you are supposed to deal with it; I have a pretty good idea that Mark was the youngest child.
The Time: 1:45 AM, Today. Mark decides he is going to bed. I am playing a computer game, but only half-paying attention to it because I am watching some dumb program on TV. Mark says "Are you watching anything?" I say, "Yes, I am watching this, but you can turn it off in 15 minutes when it is over." Now I think most people would likely think to themselves, "Ok, 15 minutes is not that long." However, Mark lies down on his bed, pulls his blanket up over his head, and proceeds to loudly toss and turn for the next ten minutes.
The Time: 1:55 AM, Today. The program I am watching has no more than five minutes left. Mark decides he cannot wait that long. He gets up, walks to his closet, and puts on some clothes. Clothes suitable for going outside. He stuff something in his backpack, grabs his room key, and leaves. On his way out, he leaves me with a "See you tomorrow," in the tone that implies "dumbass" along with it. This was unusual, because usually when he goes somewhere he just leaves the room without saying anything.
Ten seconds later he comes back into the room, and proceeds to look for some unknown object in one of his desk drawers. All the while he keeps looking over at me, expecting me to say something. He has pulled these stunts before, and usually I say "Dude, don't be like that," or something along those lines. Tonight though, I decide to let him go out and brave the arctic colds. He leaves, I turn off the TV at 2, and start to write this article.
And just what is the moral of this story? I sure as hell have no clue, but if I were to try and gleam some kernel of meaning from this little escapade, it would be this: Don't an impatient prick. The world does not revolve around you.
News Flash: As of 2:30 AM, Mark has come back to the room! He hasn't said anything to me, so I have no idea of the escapades he must have had in the last 35 minutes. Did he discover the lost continent of Atlantis? Probably not. Did he do battle with a two-headed Steve Guttenberg clone? Who knows? Did whoever he went to stay with kick his ass out? Probably. Stay tuned to the Tomato Garden for future updates of this fast breaking story.
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