It was long ago that if you told someone you were homeschooling they would look at
you cross-eyed and ask, "What about socialization?" My inner reaction would be, "Do I look
unintelligent to you? Don't you think I've considered that for my child already? Do you really think you're the
first person to make the observation that if a child is home educated they would need outside social
interaction as well?" Of course, my outer reaction would be, "My daughter goes to swim and
gym class on Mondays, dance class on Tuesdays, Girl Scouts on Thursdays and...., I'd considered
saying, "Sshh, please, don't let them know there are other kids in the world." Or, "We like to put them in the closet on Monday and
let them out on Friday." Just to see what kind of reactions I'd get.
I started to gain much confidence when I began to see the
benefits of limited, structured
interaction.....and began to look more closely at the children of the moms asking me this question!
!
Even today, people ask this same question! Surprisingly, with all the positive write-up on homeschooling.
Statistically children from home-educated backgrounds excel in many areas including
academic and social.
I have to ask myself, "Does the person who asks the question really care?" A good (nonHS) friend once told me long ago that homeschooling
feels like a threat to folks who send their children to school. A threat because they perceive that
we homeschoolers are doing something better for our children. Some thing that they don't want to do or,
because of circumstances perceived as beyond
their control, cannot do.
Parents have passed their God given roll as parents over to the schools. This has been
going on for generations. The standard accepted and encouraged norm is to send
kids to school, break away
from them nearly completely by the time they are in 7th grade, and then when they end up in trouble
exclaim,"I've
done my best, I can't imagine how s/he could do this to me! After all I've done for him! How
could s/he .....?! " That is why people tremble when you say, "We homeschool."
You are disrupting the accepted idea that parents are helpless, ignorant creatures whose
only mission is to give birth and then get a job.
Don't get me wrong, I know folks who are very involved with their children . They are
parents who
believe that for their children public school is the right choice. They are the parents who have
not broken ties with their children, but continue to maintain communication, interest, and make family
a priority over the playground. Unfortunately, those kinds of parents are the acception and not the rule.
By homeschooling you are telling the world that you are not satisfied with
how the public school system is raising your children. You are telling them that you have
decided to take back the God given responsibility of raising your own children.
That you have a better
idea. That yes, you can teach your own children and what you don't know you will learn
along with them. If a child can learn what is taught in public schools certainly an adult
should be able to master it.
I was concerned about my child becoming a teen. I'd heard so many alarming things about the teen
culture today, not to mention, I was once a teen (in public school) and understood first hand how bad it could get!
My child was concerned as well. There is so much negativity about the teen years in the media.
We were both so very relieved to discover that those things are not a problem
for most homeschooling families. The values in a HS family are shared by everyone
in that family 24/7.
So, depending on what you teach your children morally,
they will hold those values to be truths. The same way a public school teen will hold
the values of her peers to be truths.
Before the 1850s and the beginning of government regulated institutionalized schooling
there was no such thing as the" teenage culture". Children in their
teen years were called "youth", and they most often held the values of their parents.
Adulthood was something to aspire to. Today, becoming a teenager is the aspiration
of the young. Is it any wonder that there is so much pregnancy and suicide among
teens? What is left once one has reached teendom?! In a homeschool family there
is room to breathe during those years of growth but it is not the end, just a pause on the way
to adulthood. An exciting time of trying new things, and accepting new responsibilities.
Sure there will be socialization while you're homeschooling and you will know who
your child is friends with. Your child
will come to you with moral issues, not go to his/her inexperienced (or over-experienced)
friends at school. I find it funny that some parents prefer that their children put a higher
value on friendships than family. I don't understand this.
I've watched my own children grow from wee babes into mature, sensible, educated, sociable
young people.
They know their strengths and they know their weaknesses. They have ideas
about what they would like to do when they are older. They have a strong
spiritual life to sustain them. They have a foundation of years of loving communication.
Believe it or not, you can grow a healthy well adjusted child at home ! Sure,
you will make mistakes, and you'll learn from them. So will your children. You'll do it together
and form bonds like you never imagined were possible!
In Summary, socialization is an over-inflated concern about homeschooling. Homeschooling our children has
a worth far above rubies.
