The day was not without controversy. The entire state of Tennessee was disqualified during the baton relay earlier today in a decision that still has pundits gasping. The question involves whether Waylon Jennings filled out his forms properly, or used performance enhancing substances. Jennings is best known for his work on the hit 70's tv series The Dukes of Hazzard, as narrator and theme song performer, and also as the man who killed Buddy Holly. In a separate incident, Argentineans and Eskimos have each petitioned to have their mutual disqualification from their raucous basketball game replayed for international judges. According to World League Vice Presidents Javier Cake and Edith Two, there will be a ruling later in the week.
Nerves are frayed as Ugandan Steve is again in the first place standing, while Chapelsnap and Weltsvillle again find themselves locked in almost mortal combat. "It's like God hates us," said the Reverend Jesus Screwum from Weltsville.
Tomorrow is the dreaded Pooping In the Woods event, followed immediately by the Handshake event. After a weekend of rest, next week will feature the Sleeping, Eating, and Punching events.
