Famed euthanasia enthusiast Dr. Finito Mussolini is agog over the new End It All franchise facility opening on Chapelsnap's Upper West Side. This year, Dr. Mussolini has helped kill the likes of Ipswitch Frunckle, co-star of the 1957 Disney classic The Exploding Mule; Legless Joe Jackson, the Stephen Hawking of Wheelchair Basketball; & Punchy, the hapless clown from the Golden Era of television.

Pop rockers Caspian Black & the Baltic Three have broken up... again. This time Estonian Joe wants a bigger piece of the pie. Maybe he'll get it. All I know is: Pie is delicious. CB & B3 played Chapelsnap Amphitheater in June and knocked up 7 hometown girls.

ERA-era girl group The Libber Teens has sued Shoehat Music, publisher of their 1974 hit, "I Want You NOW", for back royalties. The song was recently used in television commercials by the Taliban as part of their Burka USA publicity campaign. Ruth Bader Ginsburg has recused herself from the case, as she played castanets during the breakdown. The song was number one on Chapelsnap's radio station KIFU for six weeks!