A man opening his mailbox expecting a cereal sample was instead greeted by the blast of an atomic bomb. Prankster or pranksters unknown had rigged the mailbox door to detonate upon opening.

43 year old Francis Libertine was rushed to Our Lady of Perpetual Solicitation in Weltsville for burns suffered over 200% of his body. Doctors say Libertine will need a complete body reconstruction, new limbs, a new torso, and a complete set of internal organs, including a brain.

Libertine, however, doesn't seem too upset by the commotion. "Sometimes in life you need a little wake up call," his disembodied voice joked introspectively.

Chapelsnappers Against Local Arms Proliferation spokeswoman Shawna McPoodle said at a press conference, "You'd better get used to this. Every kid on the block, even that new kid, Donnie Wahlberg, can pick up an ICBM at any store in town." Chapelsnap's recent decision to sell and tax atomic armaments was greeted with skepticism by governments across the world. The Germans remained suspiciously silent on the issue.

Libertine is expected to recover fully and be back at his post at Fort Limp by early next week.