It was right around midnight
and I heard a clatter
I wasn't concerned what was the matter
I fluffed my pillow and reassured Ma -
"Go back to sleep: It's Santa Claus."

Down the chimney to the living room
He took care of business like a sonic boom;
And then I heard a "Ho, Ho, Ho",
And I knew off he'd go.

But, all of a sudden I heard a thump, thump, thump
Perhaps Santa's sleigh on my house did bump.
So I decided I better take a look.
I put up the ladder and climbed to the roof.

Now, I knew Santa had looked in his book
And he'd found that I've been good,
but up on the roof what did appear
a special gift from a reindeer.

I've seen droppings before but never this size
fall out of the clouds or down from the sky
Here was something earthly made
a miniature sewer on my roof did lay
The size of a bowling ball
The smell of chocolate chip
And over the side of my roof; An awful drip.

Then Ma awoke to look outside
There she saw a terrible sight -
Tho not too smart, she did know
That brown is not the color of snow.

I took double strength garbage bag to the roof
and admidst the prints of reindeer hoof -
I took my shovel and held my nose
Put the 'gift' in the bag, and got the hose.

As I watered the mess to the ground
I looked up for a passing sound
It was Santa's sleigh, reindeer collars going jingle
Santa waved - I gave the reindeer the finger -
"Goodnight to All" I heard him say
"Hey Santa - next year come without the sleigh."

Have no doubt that Santa is real
He does come each and every year
The evidence left behind is surely the proof
cause I was blessed with Rudolph's poop.

By Roy Harper

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