THE AISLE SEAT - "GODZILLA"

by Mike McGranaghan

The problem with Godzilla is simple: the film obviously knows it was pre-ordained to be a hit, so it doesn't try very hard. For a movie with so much hype, there's surprisingly little here to trumpet. It falls into the same trap as a lot of summer movies, assuming that noise and special effects and mayhem are enough to make it worth seeing. Things like plot and characterization get short-changed in the process. That's why Godzilla will probably fall into that most unusual of categories: a blockbuster that fails to inspire enthusiasm in those who see it.

I grew up on things like those Japanese Godzilla movies. They were dumb, but they were kind of fun. The new Godzilla has better technical credits as well as a leaner, meaner look, but he lacks that cheesy fun. He's also missing a personality, which hurts the film incredibly. While I never expected him to sing, dance, and tell jokes, it would have been nice to feel something for him. I never quite knew if the film wanted me to loath him or pity him. Godzilla is supposed to be a lot of things, but bland is not one of them.

As the movie opens, an expert on worm mutations named Nick Tatopolous (played by Matthew Broderick) is called in to offer the government advice on handling the gigantic lizard that is leaving enormous footprints around the world. Nick eventually tracks the creature to New York City where - in a terrific scene that mixes humor and terror - it trashes buildings while stunned citizens watch helplessly. One of the people who sees this is Audrey (Maria Pitillo), a TV-news production assistant who wants to become a reporter. She also happens to be Nick's ex-girlfriend (how's that for a coincidence?).

You can probably guess where the plot takes these two characters. Not that it matters - neither of them is the least bit interesting. Other characters include a fearless cameraman named Animal (nicely played by Hank Azaria), inept Mayor Ebert and his assistant Gene (a bit too stupid to qualify as a cheap shot), a smug news anchor (Harry Shearer), and a team of government explorers who try to find a way to kill Godzilla. With the exception of Animal, none of these characters are very interesting. Godzilla was written and directed by Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich, the same men who made Independence Day a couple years back. That movie also had dull characters, but they had the good sense to cast Will Smith in the lead role. Smith's unbridled charisma carried the show; no one here comes close to that kind of magnetism.

I also expected Godzilla to be more fun, considering how much I liked the filmmakers' previous feature. The first time I saw those giant spaceships appear from behind the clouds in ID4, a chill went down my spine. The creature in Godzilla never creates any real fear, although I will be the first to admit that his revamped appearance makes him look really cool.

Part of the problem, like I said, is that everyone seemed to take for granted that this would be a hit. In their attempt to create yet another prefab blockbuster, the filmmakers lost sight of their idea. For instance, there's a terrific early scene in which Godzilla runs amok through the city at breakneck speed while being chased by military helicopters. Great stuff, no doubt about it. But later on, the movie abandons the classic "monster vs. city" idea. I'm leaving out a key detail here, just to preserve the element of surprise for those of you who are still inclined to see the movie. Suffice it to say that whereas last summer's Jurassic Park sequel, The Lost World, eventually declined into a bad Godzilla parody, Godzilla declines into a lame Jurassic Park rip-off.

At the very least, this Godzilla stays true to the outlandish nature of the Japanese originals. I found it hard to believe that a creature as tall as a skyscraper could hide in New York City (or anywhere else for that matter). His footprints shake the earth except, of course, for when he's hiding, in which case I guess he tiptoes or something. And the soldiers in this movie couldn't hit water if they fell out of a boat; despite the creature's size, they have a hard time hitting him with their weapons.

It's all very unfortunate because I was with Godzilla for a while. It had some promise at the beginning, but the longer it went on, the less interested I became in it. I wish the characters had not been so disposable. I wish we could have gotten to know Godzilla as something more than just a generic creature. I wish there had been more scenes of him tearing apart New York (or other cities of the world) and less of him hiding in the NYC subway. There is a lesson to be learned here: it's easy to make a summer blockbuster - making one that lives up to its own hype is a lot harder.

( 1/2 out of four)