SPACE ROCK SUICIDE the authorities kicked down the door and found him entombed alone in his room confirming father's suspicions all along that something was wrong they all tried to be surprised maybe there's something to be said for clinging to romantic ideals all the way to the grave something derisive something pitiful i'm getting too old for the hometown shows the girls stay the same age; i keep getting older the firehouse walls close in around me the problem is mine i suppose as it's always been, the crowd is in two rings the pushy loud baby faced girls stand close in front the periphery bedecked in gawky weak willed furious boys powerless but to destroy mailboxes and windshields it's all to impress the space rock girls vacant eyed, lost from this world in matching flurescent uniforms collectively they flout the norm they look so certain and genuine with their high top docs and hi c hair a comfortable aplomb so convincing you want to crawl inside and let her speak for you too they just stand there they do what they're supposed to do just like we used to as does he the perfect view of the composition only the music has changed since his day it seems like the rest of the band were made up of next year's graduating class he was a little creepy but with the clever asides to carry them through i'm scoring my life, i'm almost done side two each year a little more distant the language was changing he couldn't keep up they made out the words but not the meaning they didn't understand when he said i recall a distant age when anger was all the rage only the effects have changed the burnouts employed at the music store had him pegged right away with their over priced plectrums and outdated coifs the moment he left they scoffed oh let me guess he's convinced convinced he's just waiting waiting for something worth something waiting to make something that makes all that suffering worthwhile he's waiting for an anthem with his name at the top words and music by someone not wasting his time and someone to tell him so waiting for that perfect girl with chorus in her heart and reverb in her soul who understands everything immediately and he knew that they knew that he knew that they knew every one know he'd be working here soon. he listed his fallback options in his mind as the options grew scarce and just nodded when anyone said anything they could be anything but now they're the space rock girls he could have been anything but he was the space rock boy long after that sound was put down a second time when the novelty wore off again the local paper noted in passing 'he played in a performance group' like it was a part and not the whole of him the younger kid he showed the 4 chord to cried in his room he was a hero and nobody knew when pressed he'd say this is no dumber than anything else anyway he never looked up