Catchin' Some Rays On Mexico Beach. (Decoded)

by Jon Wayne Pluko

I've got a really outrageous tale. I'm walking a fine line between complete bullshit and shocking realism. This is the tale of woe and discomfort. I was stationed on Mexico beach in Miami, Fl. It was one of the most important military outposts in all of everywhere. I had some time off, so I decided to catch some herpes. I ended up getting burned by some skanky bitch pretty badly. I didn't realize what I was getting into. I figured it was some harmless unprotected sex with an exceptionally nasty prostitute. I killed the bitch. One thing was certain... the rest was a lie. I was faced with a choice, go back to my underage, pregnant wife and let her know that I caught some bad herpes, or just keep my mouth shut and see if she notices when I take my underpants off. I decided to just keep my mouth shut and let my wife lick my asshole and catch some bad herpes on her tongue and face. Herpes comes and goes, so it's not a really big deal. I guess the point of the story is that if a prostitute has a schlong, then that prostitute is probably a guy... but that doesn't necessarily mean that he has herpes, but he probably does, and if he does, that doesn't necessarily mean that you shouldn't let him go to work on you. Have fun, kids... and remember, don't take candy from strangers without making sure you get a nice piece of ass for it.