Catchin' Some Rays On Mexico Beach.
by Jon Wayne Pluko
I've got a really outrageous tale. I'm walking a fine line between complete bullshit and shocking realism. This is the tale of woe and discomfort. I was stationed on Mexico beach in Miami, Fl. It was one of the most important military outposts in all of everywhere. I had some time off, so I decided to catch some rays.(note* - When I say "rays", I mean "herpes") I ended up getting burned pretty badly.(note* - When I say "burned", I mean "burned by some skanky bitch") I didn't realize what I was getting into. I figured it was some harmless sun-bathing.(note* - When I say "sun-bathing", I mean "unprotected sex with an exceptionally nasty prostitute") Little did I know.(note* - When I say "little did I know", I mean "I killed the bitch") One thing was certain... the rest was a lie. I was faced with a choice, go back to my underage, pregnant wife and let her know that I caught some bad rays, or just keep my mouth shut and see if she notices when I take my shirt off.(note* - When I say "shirt", I mean "underpants") I decided to just keep my mouth shut and let my wife wander out into the blazing hot sun and catch some bad sunburn. (note* - When I say "wander out into the blazing hot sun", I mean "lick my asshole" and when I say "sunburn", I mean "herpes on her tongue and face") Sunburn comes and goes, so it's not a really big deal. I guess the point of the story is that if a prostitute has a schlong, then that prostitute is probably a guy... but that doesn't necessarily mean that he has herpes, but he probably does, and if he does, that doesn't necessarily mean that you shouldn't let him go to work on you. Have fun, kids... and remember, don't take candy from strangers without making sure you get something for it.(note* - Ususally when I say "something", I mean "a piece of ass", but in this case, when I say "something" I mean, "a nice piece of ass")
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