THE KITTY-PORN HOMEPAGE
NEWS
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JUNE 8th, 2003
I didn't feel like leaving bed today, so I pissed in a jar.
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MARCH 25th, 2003
It's been a while since my last update.
Sorry, I've been overseas.
There's lots of action goin on, lots of killin needs to be done.
I'll be sure to keep you posted on events as they unfold.
Now fuck off!
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NOVEMBER 6th, 2002
The old battle-axe started her shit the minute I got in the door today.
I didn't fight with her, though. I simply sat down,
consulted my little rule sheet that's posted above...
and then beat the shit out of her with her own rolling pin.
A good wife always knows her place...
Or she gets a good punch in her ugly face.
(I made that last part up myself!)
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NOVEMBER 5th, 2002
I posted this article from Houskeeping Monthly
to celebrate the three week anniversary of the one month anniversary
of the two year anniversary of the beginning of the end of the Women's Rights Movement
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SEPTEMBER 28th, 2002
I was doing some thinking about zombies. They really aren't that stupid.
I was watching Night of the Living Dead and the first zombie tries to open the car door by using the handle.
He then has the good sense to use a rock to smash the glass.
To me that seems like, at the very least, basic motor skills.
So, all you fuckers at the factory that say I'm "as slow as a zombie and twice as ugly"
can go fuck themselves.
Unless, of course, if you were referring to how fast I move...
Well, you know what they say,
"Success is a journey, not a destination, so stop running"
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SEPTEMBER 19th, 2002
I added some top secret documents to the 'story' section.
They're orders that I received a while back.
I never actually followed through on the mission because it was bowling night.
Countless innocents died.
It's all in a day's work (at the factory).
These orders were sent to me by my old buddy, Maj. Richard Srinkage.
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SEPTEMBER 11th, 2002
I don't really have any good shit for an update,
but here's a funny picture.
Maybe I'll pick a fight or something so I have something to talk about.
P.S. Fuck you.
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JULY 1st, 2002
There's a new war story added.
It's written in secret code so the commie-bastards can't decipher it.
(commie-bastards = my wife)
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APRIL 16th, 2002
Drink up!
I changed this opening picture, in case you didn't notice.
For my next trick, I'm going to squeeze a bloodhound into a shot glass.
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APRIL 5th, 2002
There are currently three stories in the War Stories section for your enjoyment.
However, I must warn you, they all suck.
I'm 100% serious. There's barely a laugh in any of the stories.
God damnit...
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MARCH 19th, 2002
Someone made a suggestion in the guestbook that I post some stories about
my days as one of Uncle Sam's bitches.
I had been considering the idea for some time and I decided to go with it.
So, you can all look foward to a new section popping up in the coming weeks which details my (mis)adventures with the U.S. Army.
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FEBRUARY 7th, 2002
I added a couple new pictures and fixed a few things.
Here's a banner that I'm not getting paid for.
I'm posting it here because I'm a nice guy and a big Bruce Campbell fan.
I'll see you there, pussies!
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Jon Wayne Pluko
PAGE STARTED : JULY 18th 1996
LAST UPDATED : MARCH 25th 2003
Kitty Porn, Kitty-Porn, or any variation thereof is a trademark of Kitty-Porn Enterprises.
All Rights Reserved.
Any similarity between the events or characters described herein and real life is purely coincidental...
or is it?... mwa ha ha ha ha
c.1994-2002
